Unnamed Discernmentalist pregnant with Thought

October 11, 2019

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LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – There is talk that an unnamed Supermodel, TV presenter and Discernmentalist  is pregnant with thought.

Seal confirmed the rumors from the stage of a concert on Thursday in New York’s Radio City Hall, telling the audience; “the unnamed discernmentalist is full of recycled ideas and more outrage than 2008!…we expect more anger, more resentment and more bitterness than ever before”

We are hoping for more “Are you a good person?” converts to meet our epithet quotas. We expect the unnamed discernmentalist to explode with epithets in the last quarter of 2019!

 

Signed an unnamed Discernmentalist


Discernmentalists should be….

September 12, 2019

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From the research our robot monkey’s have made, our over generalizations, and laissez au faire attitude to research we have found that we think  Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries believes discernmentalism should embrace these qualities….and so do we!

* Opinion over Reason

* Absolutes over mystery

* Misquoted phrases over reality

We also believe in a lax attitude towards true research.

* Presumption over Truth

Put bluntly, the Discernmentalists  is a complete  definition of true discernment.   It is unquestionably about using untruth to defend truth. We believe in absolutes because we are secret modernists….but that is ok because we love the bible with absolute certainty. Moreover without intentional misquotes we discernmentalists cannot look like champions of truth! In fact, misinformation is the best way to safe-guard God’s truth.

Remember, discernmentalist truth fears investigation….just believe us instead!

Truthslayer


Breaking: Rick Warren Reemerges with Purpose… Seeker-Driven Machine!

June 2, 2019

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Rick Warren’s new Seeker-Driven All Purpose Machine of Doom

Truth War Digest- An Old Enemy Reemerges with a New Threat:

Recently our Rick Warren Threat level alarms were alerted to a new sinister Purpose-Driven Seeker plot by the sinfully-ecumenical purposeful pope of all things seeker-driven-ness against our Clear Teachings that life just like the church must be as purposeless and terrible as possible. Just listen to this hideously apostate and heretical quote: “Through his Word, God helps you to see life through a different perspective. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV). God’s Word gives us direction in life; it shows us the path God wants us on.”—Rick Warren

Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:

Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.

“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”

We know God doesn’t listen to the prayers of anyone unless they believe in our Doctrine first and that none of our Godly ministries have purposes nor are they seeker-driven. This is why we must call all our Truth Warriors to unite around our Doctrine and help us take a stand and put down and submerge Rick Warren’s new threat of a sinisterly sinfully-ecumenical (against our Clear Teachings against such) seeker-driven machine of purpose.


Boogie-Foot! Lives: A Cousin Of Bigfoot?

May 9, 2019

b782TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.

We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:

Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.

His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck.  His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide.  His mouth was wide enough to show most of them.  His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes.  They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them.  His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer.  His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans.  He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)

When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit.  They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old.  Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time.  They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right.  Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether.  Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism.  John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]

However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time.  But there has been a change.  It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all.  Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound.  Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.

It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels

Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.

 

————-Julia Bottomman, AP


Judging Books by the Authors on their Covers

May 4, 2019

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Since Eternity Matters we bring you this important lesson in Discernmentalism: ‘With the late RHE as the author you can judge a book by the cover…(for she) was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And she aggressively supported pro-abortion policies.’ (Link)

We here at the ODMafia agree as our Research Robot Monkeys have also discermentalized the following important facts to fit the narrative of this essential truth of this teaching on judgmentalism:

  1. Saint Augustine was the author of “The City of God” and was a false teacher because he was a Mary-worshipping popish-pagan semi-Pelagian Romanist Catholic who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-war policies (against non-Catholics).
  2. Martin Luther was the author of “The Jews and Their Lies” so therefore was a false teacher who followed Augustinianism and lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported anti-Semitic as well as anti-Capitalist policies.
  3. John Calvin was the author of “The Institutes of Christian Religion” and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by following Luther’s Protestant doctrines of protesting God’s ordained authority (the Pope). And he aggressively supported pro-overregulation by spying on others as well as pro-murder policies by executing heretics.
  4. Charles Spurgeon was the author of “Morning & Evening” and was a follower of Calvin but also a “Reformed” Baptist and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by rejecting Calvin’s Clear Teachings on Baptism. And he aggressively supported anti-imperialist and anti-war policies.
  5. G. K. Chesterton was the author of “Orthodoxy” who was a false teacher for being an apostate Catholic philosopher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-wealth redistribution policies.
  6. C. S. Lewis was the author of “Mere Christianity” as well as Children’s fantasy novels so was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by teaching universalism. And he aggressively supported pro-egalitarian policies.
  7. Doug Wilson is the author of “Evangellyfish” and is a false teacher who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion by teaching semi-Arian heresy. And he aggressively supports pro-racist neo-Confederate and pro-rape policies.
  8. James White is the author of “The Potter’s Freedom” and also is a false teacher by teaching that social issues have nothing to do with the Gospel (despite the witness of church history) who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supports the never Trump movement and anti-social justice policies.

This list could go on for an eternity but because Eternity Matters we have more important things to do like teaching the Good News of our Angry God who hates everybody not like us or don’t believe in the Purity of our great Doctrines.

A recent post of ours by Dr. I. Todyaso slightly related to this one: New Emerging Heretic Bible Found.


John Armstrong OVERTLY attacks Online Discernment Ministries 2

April 28, 2019

John Armstrong of ACt3Online Ministries refuses to stop his scathing indictment of Online Discernment Ministries. We are outraged because we KNOW that we are under direct attack for our godly doctrines.

John quotes and twists such verses as “Proverbs 20:19 repeats this statement and then counsels “don’t hang around with chatterers” Here he is strongly DECLARING  that people should not listen to Online Discernmentalist Ministries…the REMENANT, the LAST STRONG HOLD who oppose the lies of Roman Catholics and Rob Bell.

He furthers his twisted arguments in this quote “Make no mistake about the conclusion here: gossip is a sin.” and “Where you find jealousy, anger and arrogance you also find gossip, slander and selfishness, and vice versa.” WOW. Did you see how he twisted that? This is what emergent-liberals do – they twist the true word into calling mighty truth warriors gossips and sinners. He appears to insinuating that discernmentalist ministries will devolve into slander, gossip, selfishness, anger and arrogance. How dare he challenge our ministry! If we need to stretch the truth beyond recognition to prove to the world that Rick Warren is a false prophet  we will do it because we are “called” to do such hard, often fractious ministry. The remnants shall not be challenged. In fact, we have turned selecting quoting into an artform. This indeed, is the final nail in any coffin: isolate quote, suggest in means “A” when it reall means “B.” This enables us to prove that our said false teacher is indeed false. If we say it  – its true. And that is not slander, that is ministerial truth.

Truthslayer


Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

April 27, 2019

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Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

  1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

  2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

  3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

  4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

  5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.


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