A game for the true discernmentalist!

July 16, 2019

In a new game of discernmentalist fun, Nahtzee is fun for the whole family. In this game you will learn to roll the dice to promote war, fear and characterize immigrants as the cause of all sorts of problems. Rolling numbers like sixes and threes will allow you to advance aggressive foreign policy against poor third world nations and justify it as Christian, Biblical and Scriptural. Moreover, numbers like 2 and 5 will promote greater peace and security by denying the rights of other players in this game. Getting a number ten will allow you to berate and chastise red-letter Christians for being communist. Finally, getting the number four and nine will give you “national security” privileges preventing you from getting caught cheating, lying or any immoral act. Bad will be good, and good will be bad.

Using these carefully crafted techniques will allow a truely biblical discernmentalist to spin truth as he sees fit…and to use it as needed.

Truthslater


Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODM) Has Important Information For All Believers!

June 10, 2019

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ODMs having a storehouse of valuable apologetics information states “There is no hint in the New Testament that the Apostles considered themselves agents of change in society.” A bystander who apparently never went to church but who did have some ‘off statements ‘suggested “Wasn’t your apostle Paul and that guy uhhhm James were they not instructed to take care of the poor, widows and orphans? …Didn’t Jesus change society by his healings and so on….I don’t know you guys are supposed to be experts” The Online Discernmentalist expediently moved in to shut this non-sense. An anonymous apologetic researcher noted that none of the Discernmentalists should have to put up with the unbiblical practice of taking care of the poor or even contemplating the fullness of the times. Besides fullness of times strikes us as far too mystical.

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia stand for truth, but not questions.

—-This PSA brought to you by Dr. Truthslayer.


Beating a Dead Horse: a Discernmentalist’s Favorite Pastime!

June 5, 2019

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Dear ODMafia,

Why do you discuss the same topics over and over again.

Signed,

Slightly Annoyed

Dear Slightly Annoyed,

In case you are new to the world of Discernmentalism—we have to warn you of the same threats over and over again as this is the Truth War and beating a dead horse is our favorite pastime. Now we all  know that Postmodernism has already died and that we are in the Post-Postmodern Age now but as Discernmentalists we constantly live in the past. We must ever be slapping the church by beating dead horses as there are many Trojan Horses slipping through our gates.

And we do love beating our dead horses into people over and over and over again and again and again see:

  1. Here: When Christians call on unbelievers to conform to a certain “religious standard” without faith and repentance in Jesus Christ, we run the risk of leading them to believe that becoming a Christian means simply living a good life. No matter how many pieces of legislation become law and no matter the number of laws to which the unsaved conform, they are still lost in sin [so] when the church takes on the role of morality police…we are only addressing the symptoms of their unsaved condition. How can the unregenerate be anything less than they are? Their worldviews are the foundation of their values, and their values are the foundation of their conduct. Until their unbiblical worldviews are transformed into a biblical view through faith and repentance in Jesus Christ, they are slaves to sin.[Tragically], moralism is just as dangerous and deadly as outright liberalism. As John MacArthur has said, “It makes no difference if an unsaved person is for or against abortion, [is] a political liberal or a conservative, a prostitute or a police officer; he will spend eternity apart from God unless he repents and believes the gospel.”—Excerpts from Religious Trojan Horse by Brannon Howse.
  2. And here: As a long-time observer and critic of the EC, informed people are deeply grieved because those in the emerging movement—as with classic liberalism—are moving beyond mere syncretistic pluralism and embracing universalism; and furthermore, under the circus big tent this counterfeit version of the Christian faith has grown into a neo-liberal cult, complete with it’s denial of cardinal doctirnes of the Christian faith, it’s own leaders, and it’s own postmodern progressive/liberal theology. I’ll warn you again, you embrace these false prophets at your own peril.— CROOKED TALK FROM THE EMERGING CHURCH TROJAN HORSE
  3. Here again again: YWAM a religious trojan horse
  4. And again here again: The “Trojan horse” that has been accepted within every part of the church is a deception called contemplative prayer. Some call it meditation, soaking, or centering prayer. It is veiled in Christian lingo and justified by Scripture (used out of context or without correct definitions of words), but is full of occult techniques from eastern religions and witchcraft. The teachers of this perverted form of prayer encourage things like repeating words or phrases over and over for long periods of time in meditative prayer, visualizing images of Jesus, the Father, God’s throne, healings or light within themselves and many other occult practices. It can also be done by focusing on the rhythm of one’s breathing or an object like an icon or the flame of a candle. The goal is to quiet the mind through a passive eastern-style meditation as a way to connect with the “divine presence” and generate mystical/prophetic experiences like “visiting the third heaven” at will. Sadly, the primary perpetrators of spreading these demonic doctrines are many well-known and respected Evangelical, Charismatic, and Catholic ministers. Many of them are also operating in spirits of divination while claiming their abilities are from the Holy Spirit. Some of them are as sincere as the fireman who ran through the fire to rescue the baby, but they are terribly deceived. Others know exactly what they are doing because they are agents of Satan who are purposely trying to undermine and destroy good churches and true Christians. But regardless of the motives, these occult practices are opening people up to dangerous spirits and beliefs.

Personally we still believe the axis of liberal Emerging/Emergent socialist justice-seeking Purpose-driven seeker-sensitive semi-Pelagian Canadian un-American gay Roman Catholic feminist Muslim Arminian universalist democrat commie pansies who believe God is love and that His love wins are this Trojan Horse responsible for all that is evil in the world and the church (but never our side).

Signed,

Don Jobson

P.S. Have you tried our mothballs yet? The smell of them should help cure your annoyance until you get use to Our Brand.


Breaking: Rick Warren Reemerges with Purpose… Seeker-Driven Machine!

June 2, 2019

seekers

Rick Warren’s new Seeker-Driven All Purpose Machine of Doom

Truth War Digest- An Old Enemy Reemerges with a New Threat:

Recently our Rick Warren Threat level alarms were alerted to a new sinister Purpose-Driven Seeker plot by the sinfully-ecumenical purposeful pope of all things seeker-driven-ness against our Clear Teachings that life just like the church must be as purposeless and terrible as possible. Just listen to this hideously apostate and heretical quote: “Through his Word, God helps you to see life through a different perspective. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV). God’s Word gives us direction in life; it shows us the path God wants us on.”—Rick Warren

Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:

Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.

“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”

We know God doesn’t listen to the prayers of anyone unless they believe in our Doctrine first and that none of our Godly ministries have purposes nor are they seeker-driven. This is why we must call all our Truth Warriors to unite around our Doctrine and help us take a stand and put down and submerge Rick Warren’s new threat of a sinisterly sinfully-ecumenical (against our Clear Teachings against such) seeker-driven machine of purpose.


Sasquatch almost reveals Secret Identities of Online Discernmentalists behind the Mafia

May 16, 2019

sasqtch

Depiction of the event in question

Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:

“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”

Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.

Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,

Don Jobson

*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:

I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!

Will Farel XV
Hiding from for the Truth


Your Nightly Heretical Quote

May 11, 2019

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“As a Christian, my highest calling is not motherhood. As a Christian, my highest calling is to follow Christ.”~the late Rachel Held Evans (heretical liberal feminist Marxist Postmodern unbelieving apostate baby-killing promoter perverter of our Pure Gospel)

Now we all can agree with the Bible when it says to follow Christ and to hate the things of the world that we may place above Christ that prevent us performing our highest calling to follow Christ—but that’s the Bible. This is different as the above quote was uttered by a known heretic the late RHE (heretical liberal feminist) which makes it blasphemous as she is on record in attacking our Clear Teachings of Biblical Manhood and womanhood. In fact this quote is so blasphemously heretical  that I’m now rereading a classic by Neo-Confederate rape-apologist Doug Wilson in order to counteract this feminist assault on our Pure Doctrines. My co-Truth Warrior Dr. Itodyaso had to reorder several copies of the Truth War and go back to hiding out in our Sanctification closet in order to re-perfect our humble Ministry of Bible-based Wrath and Disgust. Dr. Truthslayer has our Research Robot Monkeys researchmentalizing more Biblically-appropriate quotes such as these gems gleaned from Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist)‘s A Conservative Arian LibertAryan Manifesto for Biblical Manhood and womanhood plus a defense of slavery:

  • “That our nation did not remove slavery in the way it ought to have been removed helps explain many of our nation’s problems in dealing with contemporary social evils. Those evils include abortion-on-demand, radical feminism, and rampant sodomy.” (Source)
  • “But women who genuinely insist on ‘no masculine protection’ are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result.” (Source)
  • “Slavery produced in the South a genuine affection between the races that we believe we can say has never existed in any nation before the War or since.”
  • “Slavery as it existed in the South was not an adversarial relationship with pervasive racial animosity. Because of its dominantly patriarchal character, it was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence. There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world.”
  • “One could argue that the black family has never been stronger than it was under slavery. It was certainly stronger under the southern slave system that it is today under our modern destructive welfare state.”
  • “Ironically, if slavery had not been so pleasant an experience for the majority, this mentality would not likely have such a strong hold upon the minds of some of their descendants today.”
  • “And nothing is clearer — the New Testament opposes anything like the abolitionism of our country prior to the War Between the States. The New Testament contains many instructions for Christian slave owners, and requires a respectful submissive demeanor for Christian slaves.”
  • “I agree that true and ultimate authority/submission must be grounded within the Godhead. I agree with (Wayne) Grudem there. Now someone will point out that they don’t see how it is possible to have “authority and submission within the Godhead coupled with complete ontological equality” without that position logically entailing three wills, which would then be heterodox. I frankly confess that it would be heterodox, and that I don’t know how there can be anything resembling authority and submission with only one will. I get the problem. But I also don’t see, and on exactly the same grounds, how there can be anything like a Father and a Son with only one will. If I could do the math on this kind of thing, I would be a good deal richer than I am. So Fatherhood is ultimate, and Fatherhood is ad intra. The Fatherhood of the Father did not come into existence after the decision to create the world. It is not in any way dependent upon the decision to create the world. And so there should be no more difficulty in saying that the Son is eternally obedient than there is in saying that He is eternally begotten. His existence is obedience — eternal obedience, obedience that could not be otherwise. The Father’s existence is authority.” (Source)

We only pray that none may accidently fall upon that heretical quote by the late RHE (progressive Emergence radical femimarxist apostate Pastrix guru) and get corrupted into believing in such unbiblical ideas like equality. We do fear Miley Cyrus among others but when we pray Imprecatory prayers to our Angry Sovereign God for our sons’ and daughters’ possible salvation, the influence of Miley Cyrus is rarely (albeit not never) what we pray for God to protect them from is blasphemous quotes such as that one by the late RHE (Postmodern gay-enabler feminist heretic) above.  We’re now praying this  prayer of protection against our many enemies and their affronts on our Pure Gospel of Biblical Manhood and womanhood:

“Father, we pray that the angel of the Lord would chase them down. We pray that You would set for them a dark and slippery place, and that the angel of the Lord would persecute them there. They have hated us without any just cause at all, and they have devised all their plots without any good reason. We ask You therefore to rise up and defend us. Stand in the pass behind us, and lower Your spear against them. Turn them back from their wicked attacks. Rout them, we pray. Chase them like chaff in a stiff wind. We pray that You would string Your bow, sharpen Your sword, make ready all the instruments of death. Ordain Your arrows to fly against those who persecute the righteous. Make their mischief to roll back on their own impudent heads.”—Dr. ITodyaso

 


Boogie-Foot! Lives: A Cousin Of Bigfoot?

May 9, 2019

b782TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.

We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:

Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.

His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck.  His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide.  His mouth was wide enough to show most of them.  His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes.  They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them.  His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer.  His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans.  He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)

When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit.  They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old.  Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time.  They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right.  Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether.  Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism.  John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]

However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time.  But there has been a change.  It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all.  Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound.  Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.

It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels

Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.

 

————-Julia Bottomman, AP


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