Love Speech And Hate Speech Defined

October 17, 2009

This is Absolutely love speech:

 

 

 

 

 

This is Absolutely hate speech:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get it—got it? Good because we told you so and we’re always right—and remember always vote God’s Only Inerrant Party or you’re not really of the Elect and unsaved. You may even be a false convert.

Don Jobson—telling it like it is and speaking the Truth out of love and concern for everyone especially false converts who don’t believe as we do.


Discernmentalist Record Of The Day: cAlvin And The ChipmOnks

October 16, 2009

Calvinandthechipmunks

New record out based on that old hit show

cAlvin and the Chipmunks was a popular children’s cartoon that aired on Nickelodeon. Based loosely on the cAlvin Show from 20 years earlier, this cartoon has many cross overs with iCarly, for no apparent reason. Additionally, the title format is similar to that of iCarly, and the show is set at in the 2080’s A.D. in a newt dominated world, like the contemporary seasons of iCarly.

cAlvin, Simon, (later replaced by Chippy) and Theodore, three Protestant chipmunks, try to balance their musical careers with their primary goal of reforming the church along Calvinistic lines, and fighting the squirrel Pope. Their musical careers are managed by a man called Dave Seville, who, although sympathetic to cAlvin’s theological goals, is primarily concerned with the music business.

 

Truthslayer wanted me to remind you that all Discernmentalists should listen to this  record. It brings a tear to my eye back in the days when Doctrines were Pure! Todd Friel got his start on the show playing Dave and is on this record. My favorite episode is:

             iExile Chippy for Heresy 

cAlvin and Theodore become suspicious of Chippy’s theological leanings. cAlvin calmly confronts Chippy about these issues, but Chippy boldly proclaims himself to be an Arminian, and denounces cAlvin, Theodore, and even their rival Marty as fatalists. Despite much pleading, Chippy refuses to accept the reformed position, and is eventually banished from Geneva. Meanwhile, Spencer builds a sculpture unmolested because Chippy is too involved in a heresy trial to steal Spencer’s tools.

 

Now Truthslayer and I must be off to exile some more heretics.

Don Jobson—Exiling Heretical Youth leaders.


Our Goal For A Post-Emergent Church

October 15, 2009

The Post-Emergent Church

The Post-Emergent Church Of The Future—For old people that never grow out of their youth. A non-seeker-sensitive approach to church: How to lose friends and alienate people. The Post-Emergent Church will return us back to fundamentalism while still remaining relevant. Praise Hymn Rock Songs Include:

  • In Awe Of Thy 600+ Commandments, Praise Jesus 25x Chorus, Jesus Is Coming Now Grab Your Guns, We’re Old But We’re Still Young In Church, A Mighty Fortress Is Our Bible, I Saw Jesus Shoot A Heretic But He Did Not Shoot The Deputy, We Hold The Absolute Truth And So Can You, We’ll Annoy You With One More Praise Chorus, We Wish You A Servetus Barbecue, O I Hope My Shoe Is Holey Enough For The Rapture and Raise A Banner Of War On The Non-Elect

Confession of Faith: Legalism is Lord. Church services will include inquisitions on non-believers followed by forced baptisms. Afterwards, we’ll have a pot luck lunch. Everyone wins—souls that is! Rainbow wigs available after your first forced communion.

 

rollenstewart2


The Don Quixote Award Goes To…

October 10, 2009

Don Quixote AwardIf we ODM’s had a patron saint, Don Quixote would be the one. But because we ODM’s know everything that the Roman Catholic Church believes in and do is heretical we don’t have a patron saint. But if we had one it would be Saint Don Quixote.

To Don Quixote’s his truth is all that counted. If he saw a giant that had to be slayed he charged forth in almost holy anger to meet the windmill in battle. Reality and people trying to tell him about reality didn’t take away from his focus to valiantly fight the dangerous giants of his imagination.

Today we ODM’s have to face similar giants just as the brave Don Quixote did. We should never be swayed by the facts of reality so that we lose focus of our imaginarydangerous foes. People may question where we get our proof from about these giants but we don’t answer to nobody so we don’t have to tell them that we dreamed it all up.

In this tradition of imaginary giants one ODM stands out above the rest and therefor deserve the Don Quixote Award. The ODMafia is honoured to present this prestigious award to Discerning The World. The bravery and determination with which DTW storms the spiritual windmillsgiants of our time is truly inspiring. Posts like this one* raises the bar of tenacity to stick to an argument no matter if the facts show otherwise. This is a great example of how links should be made where none exist and DTW is an expert in this field.

We congratulate DTW and encourage all ODM’s to follow this excellent example of following Don Quixote’s footsteps. Let us charge forth in ignorance!

*NOTE: In another ODM tradition I have not read this piece fully and just assumed it said what I think it says by scanning through and pick what I want to say it means what I say it means. I am never wrong so I am right in my assessment of the piece.

Will FarelXV
Fighting for the Truth


%d bloggers like this: