Breaking: Unbiblical Cereal Persecuting Discernmentalists!

October 26, 2019

BelongTogetherCereal

We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love.

Oh the horror is there any object that doesn’t offend us or persecute us! This is worse than when fictional cartoon rats got ghey-married causing hetero-marriages to fail by osmosis! Noted Discernmentlist Ken Ham declared: “We are not “All together,” as the lifestyle/worldview of these fictional cereal mascots is anti-God, anti-biblical & anti-science and consists of only a small minority in the culture.” As my co-Truthwarrior Dr. Truthslayer has pointed out: “We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon they will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its processed whole-wheat or nothing!!!”

In fact we know this as one Kellogian stated: “Just think now KIDS might get the idea to buy 6 separate boxes of cereal, and mix them up on their own! Kellog’s is now working for the Devil! No more Kelloggs! They are evil, because any of their cereals might get mixed!!! Leading kids to proclaim: Hail Satan!” If this doesn’t make clear how unbiblical and apostate this cereal really is—consider this—our Research Robot Monkeys overheard this apostate cereal saying:

“Black, white, green, red
Can I take my friend to bed?
Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue
I love you”

We only wish that more inanimate objects; fictional characters; even animals would hold true to our morals; Doctrines and worldview. We have one word of caution—if you see this cereal in stores…flee!

To counteract this assault on our Truth—we recommend a daily dose of Calvin Crunch; Reformation Crunch; Truth Loops; Catacomb; and Christo-Fascist Flakes for a more Biblically-sound all around healthy breakfast and extra-protection from wetness!


Discernmentalist Values…

October 20, 2019

Brannon Howse: …I’ve been dealing with the issue of social justice, the social Gospel, collectivism, globalism, internationalism, statism, whatever you want to call it. It’s a lot of the same thing, saving socialism, for many, many years. I’ve been writing and speaking now for close to 30 years. 28 years I think to be precise, and written several books, and I’m not one of these guys that just writes books to have books to write. I try to write books that are very pertinent and timely and if I don’t write a book for a few years that’s fine, but after so many years of studying this and watching the things from the left come within mainstream Evangelicalism, yes we know that the mainline liberal churches are doing all this, but now to watch social justice, socialism, redistribution of wealth, the pushing of reparations, which is going to be a tax to try to make up for slavery, reparations in America, that’ll be a part of a Reagan-type campaign by the Marxists. Mandatory minimum incomes, that’ll be again something that’s being really promoted by groups like the Gospel Coalition, and again who would oppose it when it’s coming from a group like the Gospel Coalition with well-known Evangelicals involved They’re pushing all these things and more, and this is in the mainstream Evangelical area. Guys like Jim Wallace, Ron Sider, Tony Campolo, who have always been on the far left and promoting and praising pretty much every Communist revolution in South America, claiming the Anti-Communists were part of the dark forces, all these guys who were in the ’80s seen as being what they were, leftist Neo-Marxist, and now they’ve come mainstream into Evangelicalism and people we never thought are locking arms with them and literally working with them and serving on boards and committees together, and so I’m seeing the merging of Marxism with Christianity. …One (false idea) would be this idea that we owe the poor as much money as we can give them. There’s an article in Christianity Today a few years ago where Tim Keller is being interviewed and he said that. “We owe the poor as much money as we can give them.” That’s nowhere in the Bible. These guys take a lot of verses in the New Testament dealing with the New Testament Church and they take the word poor, which often is dealing with the spiritual poor, the spiritual bankrupt, the beggar who cannot save himself, he’s spiritually bankrupt. That’s why Christ cried out on the cross, “It is finished. Debt paid in full.” Banking term. The righteous life of Christ can be imputed or credited to your account through faith and repentance, two sides of a coin. “By grace, through faith you’re saved. Now of yourself, [inaudible 00:06:54].” He mentioned both. That was a banking term. It’s a transaction. Debt paid in full. It’s done. “We’ve been put on the auction block and we were on the auction block and our master was sin. We’ve been purchased with a price. We are not our own. Christ bought us with His own blood.” These verses that deal with the poor are often the spiritual poor, the spiritual bankrupt, the beggar. They want to take them and say that we need to give to the poor and help the poor, and they take a lot of Scripture out of context to do it. Matthew 25 is one of their favorites. “I was naked. I was in prison,” all this. That’s Jesus dividing the kingdom. Excuse me, Jesus setting up His kingdom. At the second coming, dividing the sheep from the goats. Again, they take Scripture out of context. There’s not one verse in the New Testament says that the New Testament Church is to redistribute its limited resources to the unsafe poor. Now that does not mean that we cannot be helping unsafe poor people as a platform the Gospel, but no call for redistribution of wealth to the unsafe poor but definitely to care for the poor inside the New Testament Church.

Sam Rohrer: The insidious cloaking and mixing of economics, wealth, and power and money on one hand, which is within the purview of the jurisdiction of civil government, with the Biblical concern for the poor, the needy, and those who are without, which are within the purview and responsibility of the Church, the mixing of these two is one major strategy of cultural Marxism, but it’s the inappropriate mixing as they do. The Bible’s clear on all matters of life and living, and if carefully applied, will always bring the results that God promises.” (Source)

We proudly support Discernmentalist Values. We support taking Scriptures out of context to support Capitalism as everyone knows capitalism is Biblical. We know the Crucified Christ approves of this. We know the Reformers would support us in our anti-Social Justice gospel as Luther said:

 “He who has nothing to live should be aided. If he deceives us, what then? He must be aided again.”

“ . . . In a well-arranged commonwealth the debts of the poor who are in need ought to be cancelled, and they ought to be helped; hence the action of collecting has its place only against the lazy and the ne’er-do-well” (“Lectures on Deuteronomy”).

So remember to uncritically support:

  • Free-market Capitalism instead of Social Justice.
  • War-mongering instead of peace-making
  • Corporate slavery instead of freedom
  • Ignorance instead of education
  • Conspiracy Theories instead of facts
  • Fake News instead of reality and Truth

Ignorance is our strength—it’s the Discernmentalist Way!

ODMafia approved


New From ODM/Acme C.O. Products….

May 3, 2019

smug2

SMUG ALLDAY Spray for that healthy self-righteous glow! Keeps that smug/arrogant/condescending look on a Dicernmentalist’s face all day. Just one spray guarantees extra protection from wetness that most Baptist diseases are contacted from—also guaranteeing to keep Discernmentalists doctrinally pure in our essential theology. Never lack a reason to argue with and judgmentalize others as you’ll never have to worry about lacking in Absolute Certainty or the Hard Truths that shield all Discernmentalists from Emergent and Catholic errors. SMUG ALLDAY Spray is made from 100% Pure and Essential Biblical Oils and is the perfect product for the Discermentalist Apologist always itching for a debate.

Act now for self-satisfaction guaranteed—still not convinced…take a look at these before and after pics which speak for themselves:

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Commies: The Musical!

July 2, 2010

 

Apostate Film Productions in conjunction with Walt Disney’s Red Letter Department presents Commies: The Musical—a musical of epic heretical anti-capitalist proportions set in a time when Communistic Socialist Justice was just reaching into the jugular of America’s heartland. This musical begins with a young Jim Wallis singing this number (The World Will Know) in the hopes of  getting America’s God-fearing youth to go on strike in protest against America’s God-ordained Capitalism

Counting the costs from the  riots that he incited Wallis gains a loyal band of followers including a young Tony Campolo. The plot really thickens when Wallis and Campolo encounter the heretical Social Gospel thought of Walter Rauschenbusch and both Wallis and Campolo begin thinking unbiblical thoughts about the Word of God which leads them to seriously ponder Jesus’ life and teachings. Soon Wallis and Campolo begin organizing and create the Red Letter Christian Union which seeks to ‘promote these evil unbiblical values such as peace, building strong families, the elimination of poverty, and other important social justice issues.’  In celebration of their Organized Union and their newly found Socialistic ideas Campolo pleads with the new Red Letter Christians to Seize The Day:

Somehow this song gains the attention of Brian McLaren as he dreams up a vision to unite Red Letter Christianity with his brand of Emergence Christianity. Jim Wallis and Tony Campolo catch wind of this idea and agree to meet with McLaren as they plan to unite in the theme of the Kingdom of God. Soon the Red Letter Christians and Emerging/Emergent Christians organize into an even bigger and stronger Union. Commies: The Musical ends with the whole cast singing a paen to their vision for a Communistic Kingdom of God to be unleashed upon the earth Once And For All:


Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second

June 4, 2010

 

…Continued from Martin Luther Backs Socialists:  Chapter The First

…When we last left off of our tale, our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of our story (Martin Luther) was still supportive of our heros the Peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), but suddenly though Martin Luther (Jim Wallis’ ancient relative) began to change and things took a turn for the worse. Martin Luther (would be Democrat) began to turn against the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) and slander them in a liberal controled media CNN sort of way  saying that they violated Romans 13 by protesting and rebelling against the Holy Roman Emperor (the Obama of his day) and as we all know protesting and rebellion are of the Devil (unless of course it is the Protestant Rebellion protesting against the divinely appointed authority of the Pope). John MacArthur (a Protestant protester of all things Catholic or even Catholic sounding) sets the record  straight:

Since America seems to be losing its Christian orientation, there are some who believe Christians have a right to protest and break the law. Many Christian leaders are calling for Christians to leave their present ministry and become a part of a new political Christian lobby that uses pressure and social action to effect change. Some are calling for protest and moderate revolution against our government. They say the government is taking freedom away from the church and encroaching on religion. In an effort to save the church’s freedom, myriads of organizations are rising up in our country calling for action against the government. I am amazed at how many evangelical Christians who would have avoided such activity fifteen years ago are now aggressively pursuing the political lobby approach. I’m also amazed at the number of belligerent people who join together on issues of civil authority and civil rights yet who would never find any common ground on the issue of truth. You can find true believers, charlatans, frauds, and false prophets all united for the sake of “religious freedom,” who believe that political lobbying will preserve the Kingdom of God in America. “Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

But returning back to our tale Martin Luther (an anti-Glenn Beck of his day) was so in bed with Big Brother in trying to take away their God-given  rights and liberties that he said of our heroes the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus):

The peasants have taken upon themselves the burden of three terrible sins against God and man; by this they have abundantly merited death in body and soul. In the first place, they have sworn6 to be true and faithful, submissive and obedient, to their rulers, as Christ commands when he says, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s” [Luke 20:25]. And Romans 13 [:1] says, “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.” Since they are now deliberately and violently breaking this oath of obedience and setting themselves in opposition to their masters, they have forfeited body and soul, as faithless, perjured, lying, dis­obedient rascals and scoundrels usually do. St. Paul passed this judgment on them in Romans 13 [:2] when he said that those who resist the authorities will bring a judgment upon themselves. This saying will smite the peasants sooner or later, for God wants people to be loyal and to do their duty.

…anyone who is killed fighting on the side of the rulers may be a true martyr in the eyes of God, if he fights with the kind of conscience I have just described, for he acts in obedience to God’s word. On the other hand, anyone who perishes on the peas­ants’ side is an eternal firebrand of hell, for he bears the sword against God’s word and is disobedient to him, and is a member of the devil.

…The peasants are not content with belonging to the devil themselves; they force and compel many good people to join their devilish league against their wills, and so make them partakers of all of their own wickedness and damnation. Anyone who consorts with them goes to the devil with them and is guilty of all the evil deeds that they commit, even though he has to do this be­cause he is so weak in faith that he could not resist them. A pious Christian ought to suffer a hundred deaths rather than give a hairs­breadth of consent to the peasants’ cause. O how many martyrs could now be made by the bloodthirsty peasants and the prophets of murder!13 Now the rulers ought to have mercy on these pris­oners of the peasants, and if they had no other reason to use the sword with a good conscience against the peasants, and to risk their own lives and property in fighting them, this would be rea­son enough, and more than enough: they would be rescuing and helping these souls whom the peasants have forced into their devilish league and who, without willing it, are sinning so horribly and must be damned. For truly these souls are in purgatory; in­deed, they are in the bonds of hell and the devil.

This is why we now offer this Godly Sanctified non-Heretical non-Worldly Folk Ballad Pure Truth War Reagan Gospel Hymn in their honor—in the honor of the martyrs of the original Tea Party—the Peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) and in protest against Martin Luther and Big Brother (the Holy Roman Empire—the Original Big Bad Socialist Government):

Tale dast concluded—dast und?


Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The First

June 2, 2010

 

We are proud to present to you a moment from Discernmentalist Revised History uncut and uncensored: This is a tale about the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus and how they revolted against the Big  Bad Government and the Big Name who stood against them and opposed them. The cast of characters include: a bunch of peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), the Holy Roman Emperor (Big Brother) and the Big Name who stood with Big Brother against the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus—that Big Name of course is Martin Luther (evil Neo-Marxist Red-Letter Christian prototype).

Our tale is a tale of sadness and woe; torture and families; the rich and the poor; the old and young; of death and taxes. Our tale begins in 1524 when the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) who were fed up with being heavily taxed decided to rebel (but not in a Romans 13-denying way as Romans 13 doesn’t apply to the rebellions of Conservative Bible-Believers only Liberals and Theologians who lied to Hitler to protect Jews even John MacArthur told us so) against the Holy Roman Emperor (the Big Bad Evil Socialist Government).

At first Martin Luther (our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of this story) agreed that the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) deserved a break from their taxes especially those who were extremely wealthy by Medieval standards (meaning they privately owned at least one cow)—so all the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) drew up a plan to lobby for tax cuts for the richest and most wealthiest among them. I mean why should they have to share their privately owned cattle or any other privately owned property with the government that only protects them and makes them secure. Why should they have to share with anyone for that matter as  sharing is Communism and as we all know:

The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist. When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.

On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.

To be continued in the next exciting part of our installments of  Discernmentalist Revised History—stay tuned for the conclusion of our tale in Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second…


Finally Some More Pure Gospel Music…

June 1, 2010

…from the creators of God Hates The World:

This  is a great hymn which teaches the Pure Truth War Gospel of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath towards the 99% of humanity He chose not to limit His atonement for. And remember: “Stop prayin,’ stop prayin,’ God will not hear you anymore” as if God ever listened to all of you unrepentant unregenerate reprobated sinners to begin with. God hears not the prayers of the reprobate, for God hates you so much that He chose  to destroy and eternally burn you in hell before you were ever  born— but if you are like us Predestined and of the Regenerate Elect and therefore able to repent, you may repent if you wish—but repentance is unecessary and not required of the Elect, for we are already “Once Saved Always Saved” no matter what.


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