Breaking: Unbiblical Cereal Persecuting Discernmentalists!

October 26, 2019

BelongTogetherCereal

We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love.

Oh the horror is there any object that doesn’t offend us or persecute us! This is worse than when fictional cartoon rats got ghey-married causing hetero-marriages to fail by osmosis! Noted Discernmentlist Ken Ham declared: “We are not “All together,” as the lifestyle/worldview of these fictional cereal mascots is anti-God, anti-biblical & anti-science and consists of only a small minority in the culture.” As my co-Truthwarrior Dr. Truthslayer has pointed out: “We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon they will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its processed whole-wheat or nothing!!!”

In fact we know this as one Kellogian stated: “Just think now KIDS might get the idea to buy 6 separate boxes of cereal, and mix them up on their own! Kellog’s is now working for the Devil! No more Kelloggs! They are evil, because any of their cereals might get mixed!!! Leading kids to proclaim: Hail Satan!” If this doesn’t make clear how unbiblical and apostate this cereal really is—consider this—our Research Robot Monkeys overheard this apostate cereal saying:

“Black, white, green, red
Can I take my friend to bed?
Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue
I love you”

We only wish that more inanimate objects; fictional characters; even animals would hold true to our morals; Doctrines and worldview. We have one word of caution—if you see this cereal in stores…flee!

To counteract this assault on our Truth—we recommend a daily dose of Calvin Crunch; Reformation Crunch; Truth Loops; Catacomb; and Christo-Fascist Flakes for a more Biblically-sound all around healthy breakfast and extra-protection from wetness!


Female Evangelist Turned Away

October 21, 2019

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Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few  Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place  is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”


Cater To Militarism

October 18, 2019

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I believe I am correct on this – there are two branches to the Presbyterian church. There is the segment that follows Christ, and there is the segment which wants to cater to homosexuals. Kind of like, if you don’t want to follow Christ, we’ll let you play Christian until you meet Christ.

If Mr. Kim is of the second category, he has no right to call himself an “evangelical“.

However once again we are perfectly fine with churches catering to the US Military. We need more Holy Days to celebrate them in our churches—for bombing our enemies is Truly the Lord’s Work…Amen! All our enemies are sinners and got what was coming to them. We need more American flags in our churches than crosses to help us worship the Prince of Peace. In fact we demand that crosses be removed as they distract focus from our Holy Flag and our Patriotic duty of supporting those Brave Men who fought and died so that we could become Christians. We also demand foreign churches follow suit less they be deemed unworthy of our Great Country’s support and therefore unworthy of our God’s love and pre-damned to Hell.


When Discernment Turns Super Extra Ugly – An Exclusive Alert! Part 2

May 2, 2019

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As promised we bring you part 2 of my series:

Eric Barger trades in certainty, modernity & absolute truth for the evils of Roman Catholicism. We cannot believe this! We knew the great apostasy was almost upon us – but we figured we would have at least a few more weeks.

We at ODMafia are saddened that someone who owned the one and only Bible Belt, & who originally had mastered the true doctrines of the faith, and possessed the most bible based website on the planet has traded in his faith for some religious pottage….sympathizing with Roman Catholicism (ie he embraces the Apostle & Nicene creeds)….thanks to Galatians 4 for this discernmentalism.

Remember – any connection or sympathy with the RC Church is to embrace the church.

We wouldn’t be surprised that by next week Eric becomes a Mormon, or a Jehovah’s Witness.

We appreciate once again Galatians 4 for pointing this discernmentalism out. Now we are 28.9% more paranoid than Eric -since he pointed out this dastardly deed of discernmentalism. See here at this link: When Discernmentalism gets ugly!

 

Truthslayer.


“Reformation Eroding!”: Warns Pulpit & Pen

April 24, 2019

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Once again the Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most illustrious most inerrant Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that one of our own Al Mohler (who we already exposed as a Socialist against our Clear Teachings) did something that we ODMs disapprove of: mourned the fire at Notre Dame against our Clear Teachings against such. Quote:

Like most in the Evangelical Intelligentsia, Albert Mohler is signaling a virtue that is almost altogether disconnected from his theology. The long, long line to mourn the loss of a Temple of Idols forms somewhere near the headquarters of The Social Gospel Coalition, who lean heavily upon Roman Catholic Liberation Theology to support their progressive political agenda.

Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.

We here at the ODMafia agree that this is a clear perversion of our the Doctrines of Grace and will erode the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther’s (who observed Easter against our clear teachings on it’s pagan catholic origins) and John Calvin (who was influenced by the Patristics against our clear teachings to avoid all things Catholic). For shame Al—repent back to our Angry ODM Truth War Gospel against all those we deem unworthy of God’s grace or the liberals; gays; emergent hordes; Catholics; semi-pelagians; Rob Bell;  Armenians; pacifists; extraterrestrials; Red Letter Christians; Dracula; Bigfoot; etc. whose God’s love wins will erode our Reformation and the Purity of our Sound Doctrines and prevent us from bringing all of us back to the Dark Ages.

As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & Spin Dullspit & Sin Dips#it & Pretend Pulpit & Pen:

“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

We move that Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass  of the mighty Truth Warrior site Pyromaniacs force persuade Al to rejoin the ODM fold and take a stand in the Pure Doctrines of our most illustrious most Holy most inerrant Pope over ODMs and internet Calvinists everywhere (PBUH) or revoke his association with Mohler. In case you have forgotten my credentials—I was personally  mentored by the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Online Congregation of the True Remnant of ODMs—who personally sat at the feet of the late Walter Martin by pouring over his Apologetics cassette tapes for several hours. This gives me more than enough self-righteousness to discernmentalize and judgmentalize all those who don’t hold true to the Purity of our Doctrines of the Truth War.


Fox News Controlled By Marxists

April 16, 2019

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Dear OD Mafia,

Lately I’m concerned that Fox News has  been failing to report our delusions the Real Truth.©™ What can I do if there’s no Safe Space away from the liberal hordes, Cultural Marxism and political correctness left  to confirm our biases Reality©™? Where can I turn to for Fake Real News©™? Whom can I turn to? Whom can I trust??

Sincerely,

I. R. DeLoo Ted

P. S. All countries who are not Muslim should expel them … France, Germany, U. S., etc.

Dear DeLoo Ted,

I’ll tell you who you can turn to and trust. We promise to be #1 in Alt-Facts and Fake Real News©™ as Trump is our disciple. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that Fox News too has fallen under the spell of evil Cultural Marxist puppet master George Soros who controls all the Media©™–and that is why:

“Fox has been trying to cover it up from the beginning. They cut off all of the priests midsentence and wouldn’t even listen to what they have to say. There is the issue that liberals believe all problems can be solved through increasing tolerance, diversity, and inclusivity. So if it is those doctrines which are actually inflaming our problem and they are completely blind to it, they will attempt to hide anything that may even mildly indicate that this liberal belief system is killing us.”—Joe Roberts

You can be sure of one thing Fox News will report what George Soros tells the Big Government to tell them to report and the way Big Brother tells them to report the news. So Fox News like all News in the USA is 100% controlled by the Government and the filthy Rich few who own the Media©™. So you can be sure of this, What the News Media©™ Says can say they are sure about what they are told to say. —————————————————–But it is my opinion those Filthy Rich People who control the News©™ are trying to keep the truth hidden so the People of France do not start a Civil War against the Islamic Invaders of their Nation.

Trust Only In Us For Your Alt-Factual Fake True Newsworthy Alt-Media©™ reporting Needs,

Drs. Don Jobson; I. Todyaso and Truthslayer

P.S. Let the Free Market decide the TRUE NEWS©™.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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