November 22, 2019

Discernmentalists recently questioned whether or not Kanye West has a new found saved status or not after it was discovered that he will attend Joel Osteen’s church.
Our Research Robot Monkeys uncovered even more sinister facts concerning Kanye West’s new found salvation:
No praying, no sermon, no word, just music!
In a recent interview with Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kim explained that Sunday Service is “more of just a healing experience” than a religious one. “There’s no praying, there’s no sermon, no word, just music, and just a feeling — and it’s Christian,” she explained. So, it’s like a high-vibe spiritual Christian concert that’s welcoming of celebrities and other musicians, such as Katy Perry and Busy Philipps. [Emphasis added]
Radical obedience, NO REPENTANCE OF SIN
During one song, where singers declared that “nothing is too hard for God,” Kanye stopped and prayed to God, imploring the congregation, “all you ask is for radical obedience to You.” [Emphasis added]
We agree as we’re the Greatest most Smart send us your money Discernmentalists of all time! In fact in our esteemed wisdom we’ve already discernmentalized Kanye by osmosis before DTW. We must add that even others agree—we point you to our spiritual descendants:
A post slightly related to ours: https://babylonbee.com/news/joel-osteen-leads-kanye-west-to-top-of-lakewood-church-to-offer-him-all-the-kingdoms-of-the-earth-in-their-splendor?fbclid=IwAR0iGH5b58co4l6uWkQ9XVO2fQL513qNHKiutYLckLRcC6dWfC_fe1kvruo
Like this:
Like Loading...
Leave a Comment » |
celebrity, cult of celebrity, Discerning the World, Discernment, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Discernmentalist Preparatory Test, Dividing the Sheep and goats., Divisional Ecumenism, Divisionism, Electric Boogie Boogaloo!, Right-wing radio, Rules to die for, Secret Order of Discernmentalist United in Ministry, Uncategorized, Ways of the Master Discernmentalist | Tagged: Kanye's minyanyehs, Madonna, meditation, take a stand against |
Permalink
Posted by donjobson
October 26, 2019

We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love.
Oh the horror is there any object that doesn’t offend us or persecute us! This is worse than when fictional cartoon rats got ghey-married causing hetero-marriages to fail by osmosis! Noted Discernmentlist Ken Ham declared: “We are not “All together,” as the lifestyle/worldview of these fictional cereal mascots is anti-God, anti-biblical & anti-science and consists of only a small minority in the culture.” As my co-Truthwarrior Dr. Truthslayer has pointed out: “We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon they will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its processed whole-wheat or nothing!!!”
In fact we know this as one Kellogian stated: “Just think now KIDS might get the idea to buy 6 separate boxes of cereal, and mix them up on their own! Kellog’s is now working for the Devil! No more Kelloggs! They are evil, because any of their cereals might get mixed!!! Leading kids to proclaim: Hail Satan!” If this doesn’t make clear how unbiblical and apostate this cereal really is—consider this—our Research Robot Monkeys overheard this apostate cereal saying:
“Black, white, green, red
Can I take my friend to bed?
Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue
I love you”
We only wish that more inanimate objects; fictional characters; even animals would hold true to our morals; Doctrines and worldview. We have one word of caution—if you see this cereal in stores…flee!
To counteract this assault on our Truth—we recommend a daily dose of Calvin Crunch; Reformation Crunch; Truth Loops; Catacomb; and Christo-Fascist Flakes for a more Biblically-sound all around healthy breakfast and extra-protection from wetness!
Like this:
Like Loading...
Leave a Comment » |
Abomination Nation, Absolute Biblical Truth, Answers in Genesis, anti gay, anti-liberty of conscience, bananas for Jesus, Brannon Howse, Buy me, cereal, Certainty, choices, Divisional Ecumenism, economy, Ecumenical Jihad, Electric Boogie Boogaloo!, healthy breakfast, Holy Conspiracy Theories Batman!, how we get the answer, Ken Ham, Ken Silva, Kent Hovind, non-contextualization, Reconciliation?, Screw Head, The Conspiracy-Driven Church!, To The Conspiracy Cave Boy-Wonder!, Uncategorized, universalism conspiracy exposed | Tagged: Alternative Universe, boxes, Discernmentalist Logic, extra protection from wetness, persecution complex, Take A Stand, TRuth War, unbelievable heresy!, unclean, Under attack!, universalist unireversals, unsafe |
Permalink
Posted by donjobson
May 9, 2019
TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.
We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:
Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.
His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck. His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide. His mouth was wide enough to show most of them. His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes. They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them. His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer. His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans. He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)
When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit. They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old. Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time. They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right. Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether. Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism. John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]
However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time. But there has been a change. It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all. Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound. Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.
It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels
Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.
————-Julia Bottomman, AP
Like this:
Like Loading...
1 Comment |
Abomination Nation, Absolute Biblical Truth, Absolute Clarity, absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, aliens/UFOs, Anabaptist heretics, Aperising Minsitries, Arm and Hand Disease, Arminians go to hell, Babylonian hordes, bananas for Jesus, Baptici hereticus, beards, Big Brother, Brian McLaren, Camp of the Apostates, can't you smell that smell?, Christian Research Network, Contemplative Prayer/Spirituality, Couches and Candles, dirty hippies!, Discerning the World, Discernment, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Discernmentalist United Against Social Justice, disease, Electric Boogie Boogaloo!, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Evil Emergent plots, False vs. True Converts, Freddies Coffee Bar, here wolfy wolfy, Herescope, heresy hunting, heretics/heresy, Lutherans aren't Calvinistic enough to be True Christians, Obamanation, Oh that smell, Olive Tree Ministries, Peasants' Revolt, Post-modern unbelievers, Pure Doctrines, purposeless driven life, putting on a Puritan's mind!, Research Robot Monkeys, Researchmentalism, Semi-Donatists, Semi-Novatianism, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, Supralapsarian, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, Uncategorized, Us vs. them! | Tagged: Aperising, apostasy alert, bigfoot, endangered species, hair, hell half acre, humor, pure, Puritans, Scientology |
Permalink
Posted by donjobson
April 29, 2019

A new gem rediscovered from our super secret archives—the long lost soundtrack of the late Ken Silva’s long lost final film: SILVA BULLET. Also discovered among our files a newspaper clipping dated from 2013 describing part of the production of this album—quote: “Online Discernmentalist Post: Ken Silva Rewrites Billy Ray Cyrus Song — In a surprise turn of events the CEO of Apprising Ministries Fame is re-writing a Billy Ray Cyrus song (Achy Breaky Heart) with new lyrics. Rumors are its for an upcoming untitled to be announced film project he has in the works. Inside sources say he has already finished the script.”
On its rediscovery I have to say: “Color us apprised! This is one of the greatest discermentalist soundtracks I’ve ever heard!” My fellow Discernmentalists I. Todyaso and Don Jobson both agree! Both hit singles are featured on the soundtrack which are the aforementioned rewritten Billy Ray Cyrus song:
1- ‘ Achy Breaky Truth’:
“But don’t challenge my truth, my achy breaky truth
I just don’t think I’d understand
And if you tell the truth, my achy breaky truth
I might blow up and ban this man
You can tell your pa I discerned Rob Bell in Arkansas
Or you can tell Rick Warren he has erred and misinformed
Or tell your brother Cliff whose immoral cause he smoked a spliff
He never really liked me anyway
Oh I get my discernment from Slice, the tone is not always nice
Myself already knows that I’m okay
Oh you can tell my eyes that I have a lot of spies
On Emergent and their like, I wish they’d fly a kite”
And 2- a rewritten version of a Terry Jacks’ song ‘Seasons In The Sun’ now ‘Seasons In The Son’ from which the tagline of the film is derived:
We had no joy because we didn’t believe in fun
For we spent our days discerning werewolfy Emergents
Rome-ing around in our seasons in the Son
Though now they may laugh soon they’ll cry
When my Silva bullet makes them thoroughly apprised
For I’m doing the Lord’s work of exposing
And discerning all in my seasons in the Son
—Sony Records hopes to release a remake of this Soundtrack on iTunes some time in the Fall. This album is backed by 100% of discernmentalists…. Truthslayer approved… ODMafia endorsed.
Like this:
Like Loading...
Leave a Comment » |
Absolute Biblical Truth, Aperising Minsitries, Apprising Ministries, Christian Research Network, cult of celebrity, Cybermen, Dark Knight, Darth Vader, death, do the hustle, Don Jobson and Truthslayer approved, Electric Boogie Boogaloo!, Entertainment, entertainment....for truth, here wolfy wolfy, Heresy Hunters, Ken Silva, ODMafia, Research Robot Monkeys, Super Secret Archives, The good old days, The Terminator, Truthslayer approved / endorsed, Uncategorized | Tagged: Aperising Pictures, apprising entertainments, Apprising Films, Apprising sounds and muzack, entertainment....for truth, products |
Permalink
Posted by truthslayer