The University of ODMafia is now offering the following certificate of learning with the following: Certificate of Specializing In Non-Essentials. This intense 6 week course will help you to argue over things that are not important (but make them central to your Christian walk) such as:
1) Disliking and picking fights with people who like Rob Bell
2) Disparaging anyone who likes any of Obama’s political ideas (Emphasis will be on guilt by association for any Evangelicals who have been asked to pray, or talk with the President)
3) Finding fault with every page of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Drivel Church
4) Attacking Rick Warren for his emphasis on Pauline apologetics (see Acts 17) when addressing the Muslims instead of zealous preaching of the Online Discernmentalist Gospel
5) Finding problems and issues with the Emerging Church (EC), even things that one would commonly agree with…but because they were from the EC it MUST be rejected and attacked.
You will find that this course will strengthen your ability and expertise as a Discernmentalist.
Discernmentalists have have long celebrated platonic dualism. We like to divide the world into the flesh (all that is bad), where God can’t go….and the spirit (where God is and we hope to be someday). In the end we want knowledge, accurate knowledge – you know 100% perfect doctrine….because we all know we are saved by perfect theology. For more detail:
“For example, Paul quite often writes about the ‘flesh’ and the ‘spirit’. If he held the Greek dualistic world view, Paul might mean by ‘flesh’ the lower, material side of life: hunger, lust, desire for significance, all the facets of living in the material, fallen world; a place in which God is not interested in dwelling, a place which is thus separated from His presence. And Paul might mean by ‘spirit’ the higher, spiritual side of life: the loftier pursuit of the knowledge of God and being in His presence; the place where communion and fellowship is possible in a way not possible if we are living in the material world of the flesh. This is in fact how modern evangelicalism interprets much of Paul’s writing about flesh and spirit.”
We embrace modern evangelicalism, because that is what we have always believed! Since we KNOW we are right, and we don’t NEED correction, we know what we know.
We are bothered by such statements as “For Paul, the flesh and the spirit are not two different realms of knowledge or experience, but rather two different routes by which to attain moral goodness, the highest goal of human experience.” WHY? Because it sounds TOO much like Rob Bell’s apostate-liberal-new-age video EVERYTHING IS SPIRITUAL. Indeed, we are flabbergasted by this suggestion “Therefore, the Greek separation of the spiritual and the material world, which was imported into Christianity after Paul wrote his epistles, provides an incorrect interpretive grid for understanding Paul’s writings.”
We don’t have interpretive grids, in fact we are gridless. We have the pure doctrines that we draw directly from the bible without any cultural, theological or moral biases…..
Simple purity. Rest assured.
Oh the horror! Recently one of our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Emergents are now hiring psychics in a last ditch effort to undermine the Absolute Truth and Certainty of the Truth Wars. We here at the ODMafia can’t say we didn’t see this coming from a mile away as we know Emerging emergers love their mystical webs of confusion. Emergents also love Mystery over Certainty as well as coffee; candles and couches—but they’ve yet to be observed in the presence of garlic. We also have reason to suspect that these Emerging vampires have merged with Mothra feminists in order to ramp up their newly found psychic abilities in order to assault unsuspecting Truth Warriors in the field of battle for our Truth. Other noted ODMs are now in the midst of battling for our Truth—researchmentalizing new techniques in Spiritual Warfare to curb these assaults.