Eye of the Tiger’s hidden past exposed

June 4, 2019

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We are all familiar with the secular song “Eye of the Tiger.” We all equally despise it’s secular bent. Few realize that it was once written for Online Discernmentalist Ministries before the song was re-written for evil pagans.

Here is the song in its original form before it was destroyed by heathens….

Eye of the Truthwarrior

Risin’ up, back in the Bible
Did my time in bible study, took no chances
Went the distance, stretching the truth, now I’m back on my tweet
Just a true Christian and G*ds will to be saved

So many apostates,we discern too fast
Don’t change your passion for knit picking
Don’t lose your grip on discerning Warren and Bell
(and G*d’s will that they be in hell)
You must fight  and argue that you’ve theologically arrived

Chorus:
It’s the eye of the Truthwarrior, we are the cream of the fight
Risin’ up to the challenge of every rival
And the last known truth warrior survivor should not question Jan, Silva or MacArthur
And he’s watchin’ us all in the eye of the truth warrior

Screen to screen, martyred for abstract doctrine
Hangin’ tough, and judging as many people as we can
They stack the odds ’til we take to the street
For we falsify with our logical skills we think we’ve  theologically arrived

chorus

Risin’ up, straight to the top
Have the absolute truth, got the glory
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop
Just a truthwarrior and the will to connive!

chorus

The eye of the truthwarrior (repeats out)…

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Truthslayer—Ninja Truth Warrior and lethal weapon with a black-belt in the Truth War fighting arts

 


Sasquatch almost reveals Secret Identities of Online Discernmentalists behind the Mafia

May 16, 2019

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Depiction of the event in question

Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:

“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”

Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.

Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,

Don Jobson

*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:

I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!

Will Farel XV
Hiding from for the Truth


Pulpit calls Truce with ODMafia!

May 15, 2019

Breaking: While you were sleeping peacefully last night safe and protected by our Sound Doctrines in your warm beds—late last night ODMafia spies broke into Planned Pulpithood’s bunker and forced them to agree to a ceasefire of firing their missives at us and agree to ODMafia’s peace terms. However Pulpit promises to let the ODMafia continue subtly firing off our weapons of Massive destruction at them since the ODMafia helped crack the secret code of one of Pulpit’s enemies because our discernmentalism is of higher quality than anyone else’s.

Dr. Truthslayer utilizing Eric Barger’s Smocking Gun Technology on our Research Robot Monkeys once again has totally demolished Servus Christi with only one screencap rather than two by slicing letters and rearranging them until we were apprised of their secret meaning:

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That’s how much better at discernmentalism we are than anyone else—we exposed Servus Christi’s ties to the heretical Servetus before anyone else. On a related note we have reason to suspect Servus Christi as the one who made up the sinisterly globalist quasi-universalist sinfully-ecumenical quote exposing them in one of our latest Massives.


Red Alert!!! We’re Under Attack…. once again by One of Our Own!

April 30, 2019

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We are sad to announce that part 2 of Dr. Truthslayer’s series on When Discernment Becomes Extra Ugly  scheduled for today is postponed until further notice as once again and as always our Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most inerrant illustrious Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. One of our very own— Pulpit & Pen have fired off a salvo against the Online Discernmentalist Mafia community due to our recent Massives on the truth about Heresy-Hunting and defamation of characters the Reformation. Pulpit & Pen have threatened to demolish our Truth Bunker with their missives (which aren’t nearly as Pure in their Truth and Doctrine as our Massives). Thankfully though our Truth Bunker is super secret so wasn’t hit and none of us were harmed.

Quote from one of their missives in which they slander the blessed memory of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher who taught us everything we know about discernmentalism:

 I firmly believe that “guilt by association” (as known as the Doctrine of Godly Separation) is a Biblical concept found throughout both the Old and New Testaments, and anyone who says otherwise needs to read their Bible. However, guilt-by-association cannot be applied ad infinitum. …The late Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries, who recommended…Justin Peters (but not) John MacArthur… Justin Peters is bad for (not) recommending John MacArthur, (but instead is) recommending Albert Mohler, who is bad for recommending (ostensibly) Rick Warren.

Everyone knows that Ken would never under any circumstances recommend Purpose-Driven Heretic Rick Warren even by guilt of association as the late Ken Silva (blessed be his memory) passed on his Clear Teachings to us which are the same as our Clear Teachings. Also Ken himself in his glorious missives taught us to use guilt by association ad infinitum and an attack on Ken’s Clear Teachings is an attack on the Clear Teachings of our Pure Doctrines of our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) and therefore an attack on us personally. Also everyone knows that John MacArthur (PBUH) is the only True living Teacher of God’s Word who said this about Baptism which is consistent with our Clear Teachings on Baptism so he would never violate the Purity of our Doctrine of Godly Separation and associate with an infant sprinkling heretic:

We understand what believer’s baptism is from Scripture.

But there’s a world of people who don’t get it, who don’t understand it. And there are people who don’t know that it is important and who don’t think the methodology is important, or even the time when a person is baptized. There are folks who are just plain confused about baptism, what is its method, and what is its meaning, and in particular, what about the baptizing of infants, which is how you get a world full of non-Christians who have been baptized as infants.

Infant baptism is not baptism…it’s not New Testament baptism. This may surprise you, it’s nothing, it’s totally meaningless. Well you might have got emotional when you took your little child in there ‘cause you love your little child and you hope the best for him, or her. But as far as the spiritual condition of that child, it had absolutely no effect whatsoever. Infant baptism is not in the Bible, it is not New Testament baptism. And this is an uncontestable fact because when you do go in to the Bible in the New Testament and you talk about baptism and you study baptism, it is absolutely crystal clear what baptism is. The only people who are ever baptized in the New Testament are people who have come to faith in Christ. And baptism is always immersing them in water, it is never sprinkling water on their heads from a tiny little fountain.

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And as everyone knows no True Truth Warrior would do anything that is not contained in the Bible as we are all Conservative  Bible-believing folks—and all Bible-believers everywhere agree with JMac’s Truth (PBUI) otherwise they are enemies of our Truth in the Truth War. Quote: “Obedience simply means to submit to what the Lord says, do what He tells you.  And what He tells you is revealed in Scripture.” This is why we ODMs always have to hide out in our Truth Bunker to keep our fragile Hard Doctrines which always need protecting purified and safe from all manners of sinfully ecumenical worldliness and hereticalness—in  fact we hide out in separate rooms in our bunker to perfect the purity of our Pure Doctrine of separation as well. Also we may only be a congregation of 3 separate people with an occasional 4th or 5th member but that just proves how much purer our Doctrine of separation is than anyone else’s as we follow the late Ken Silva’s Church Growth model of Ecumenical jihad dividing the church.

Holding all to be separated in our Doctrine,

Don Jobson


Recovered From Our Archives: Ken Silva’s Final Songs!

April 29, 2019

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A new gem rediscovered from our super secret archives—the long lost soundtrack of the late Ken Silva’s long lost final film: SILVA BULLET. Also discovered among our files a newspaper clipping dated from 2013 describing part of the production of this album—quote: “Online Discernmentalist Post: Ken Silva  Rewrites Billy Ray Cyrus Song — In a surprise turn of events the CEO of  Apprising Ministries Fame is re-writing a Billy Ray Cyrus song (Achy Breaky Heart) with new lyrics. Rumors are its for an upcoming untitled to be announced film project he has in the works. Inside sources say he has already finished the script.”

On its rediscovery I have to say: “Color us apprised! This is one of the greatest discermentalist soundtracks I’ve ever heard!” My fellow Discernmentalists I. Todyaso and Don Jobson both agree! Both hit singles are featured on the soundtrack which are the aforementioned rewritten Billy Ray Cyrus song:

1- ‘ Achy Breaky Truth’:

“But don’t challenge my truth, my achy breaky truth

I just don’t think I’d understand

And if you tell the truth, my achy breaky truth

I might blow up and ban this man

You can tell your pa I discerned Rob Bell in Arkansas

Or you can tell Rick Warren he has erred and misinformed

Or tell your brother Cliff whose immoral cause he smoked a spliff

He never really liked me anyway

Oh I get my discernment from Slice, the tone is not always nice

Myself already knows that I’m okay

Oh you can tell my eyes that I have a lot of spies

On Emergent and their like, I wish they’d fly a kite”

And 2- a rewritten version of a Terry Jacks’ song ‘Seasons In The Sun’ now ‘Seasons In The Son’ from which the tagline of the film is derived:

We had no joy because we didn’t believe in fun

For we spent our days discerning werewolfy Emergents

Rome-ing around in our seasons in the Son

Though now they may laugh soon they’ll cry

When my Silva bullet makes them thoroughly apprised

For I’m doing the Lord’s work of exposing

And discerning all in my seasons in the Son

—Sony Records hopes to release a remake of this Soundtrack on iTunes some time in the Fall. This album is backed by 100% of discernmentalists…. Truthslayer approved… ODMafia endorsed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


NEITHER OBAMA’S NOR TRUMP’S NSA ARE SEVERE ENOUGH…

April 24, 2019

 

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      NSA NOT SEVERE ENOUGH

Written By Ron Jobson (Don Jobson’s “Liberal” Brother) when False President Obama Bin Laden was still occupying the Oval Office

“There are a bunch of people who hate (the) N.S.A.,” says Laura Blakey, (but it follows our Truth War Doctrines)….I think our Christianity offends them.”

I am saddened to learn that Obama is moderately reforming the NSA as I was hoping for a more severe reform as the NSA follows the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Clearly Obama is slipping into the man-worshipping heresy of semi-Pelagian Arminianism by not extending the NSA’s reach into spying on further areas of our lives just as the Pure Doctrine of Calvin proclaims. Thankfully Obama is still regulating us though he isn’t severely over-regulating us enough to reach the excellent quality of the sheer beauty of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. (And as we all know “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.”—Saint Charles Spurgeon and that John Calvin is the father of the theological system known as Calvinism. Praise Geneva and Dort and that John MacArthur (PBUH) is his final Prophet and Pope of our Truth War).:

“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”

Hopefully Obama (now Trump our Sovereign God-willing) will get onto really over-regulating every minute detail of our lives and spying on us in the Biblically-Correct manner of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Maybe then he’ll learn that I supported some Libertarians in the previous elections (sheer heresy) for as we know: “Calvin branded his opponents “Libertines” (the group opposed to Calvin referred to itself as the “Children of Geneva“). He called them “heretics” and “atheists” and employed the powers of the state to suppress them.” (That’s what Libertarians were called back then—also Libertarians sound like that unbiblical and ungodly term libertarian free will). And as the inerrant Romans 13 as well as Calvin’s final Prophet and our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) teaches us that we should obey the Government in all things without question:

“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

Maybe also then I can hopefully be tried for such a treasonous and heretical crime as supporting some Libertines/Libertarians. Maybe I’ll be thrown in prison or exiled from this pre-ordained Christian Nation but those punishments are too good for such a treasonous/heretical act as to question Obama in trying to follow the Pure Doctrine of Calvin with the NSA. It would be better if I were ‘put to death by slow burning at the stake for denouncing the tyranny of Obama and his NSA.’ I preach this Sound Biblical warning to you brethren to heed our Truth War Pope John MacArthur’s (PBUH) Biblically Orthodox Christian command to obey thy Government in all things without question. Or as John Calvin and the NSA would say: ‘we see whoever you sinners are sleeping with/we know when you’re awake/we know if you’ve been bad or good /so be good for meaninglessness’ sake…’

Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:

To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).

 


For The Discernmentalist On The Go….

April 18, 2019

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Introducing an all New Action Pants©™ for the discriminating Discernmentalist consumer! Our all New Action Pants©™ are  Chuck Norris endorsed; Truthslayer approved; OdMafia backed. Every pair of our all New Action Pants©™  are: made with Maximum doctrinal protection… Stretch Technologyextreme comfort… good for  roundhousing the bedevil out of liberals; heretics; postmodern apostates; anti-Trumpers; pacifists; gays; vegans; Canadians; Muslims; mooses; meeses; garbonzo beans; Antifa; abortionists; commies; SJWs; feminazis; Hollywood; signs; TVs; and all others who stand against our Pure Doctrines or all your money belongs to us back guaranteed. Act now: Only $99.95 plus $33s/h plus a  $7555 surcharge. Shut up and give us all your money! Your bank accounts  belong to us now.. Suckas!


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