Which Is The More Biblically Based Economic System?

May 18, 2010

 

Here is one of our fine and quality Biblically Based Discernmentalist Preparatory Tests:

Your official instructor Todd Friel, Wretched Instructor of I*segesis, Doctor of Fear-mongering and Misinformation will now instruct you on the pressing question of Biblically Based Economic Systems via video:

You heard your question of the day: Which is the more Biblically Based Economic System—Capitalism or Communism? You may now begin this quiz. Open Bibles are welcomed and encouraged. You may even call Brannon Howse or Jan Markell  for help. Good Luck!

Capitalism is the more Biblically Based Economic System? Check yes____ or check no ____.’

“‘Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. — Ezekiel 16:49

14 The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. 15 He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God’s sight. 16 “The Law and the Prophets were proclaimed until John. Since that time, the good news of the kingdom of God is being preached, and everyone is forcing his way into it. 17 It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the least stroke of a pen to drop out of the Law. 19 “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20 At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21 and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. 22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In hell, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ 25 “But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ 27 “He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ 29 “Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ 30 “‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ 31 “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’ “ — Luke 16:14-17 and 19-31.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. — Matthew 19:23-24, Mark 10:23-25

But woe unto you that are rich! for ye have received your consolation. — Luke 6:24

 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you. — James 5:1

Or communism is the more Biblically Based Economic System ? Check yes____ or check no ____.

The Fellowship of the Believers

 42They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”— Matthew 19:21.

 35 ” ‘If one of your countrymen becomes poor and is unable to support himself among you, help him as you would an alien or a temporary resident, so he can continue to live among you. 36 Do not take interest of any kind [a] from him, but fear your God, so that your countryman may continue to live among you. 37 You must not lend him money at interest or sell him food at a profit. 38 I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt to give you the land of Canaan and to be your God.— Leviticus 25: 35-38.

The Absolute Truth Biblical answer of course is Capitalism:

When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.

On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.

John MacArthur even told us so—so just remember to vote like Us on this quiz because We are Always Right and then you’ll be all set to be qualified as a candidate for the position of a True Biblically-Based Discernmentalist just like Ken Silva and Eric Barger. If for some reason you don’t vote exactly like us most likely because you are an unrepentant unregenerate Emergent and Red-Letter Christian then we pray that you REPENT and get saved under John MacArthur approved teaching by believing Our Truth and by accepting the Gospel of Reagan that is if you really are a True Elect Republican Believer to begin with and therefore allowed to repent.


Be A Literalist!: Part 2

May 15, 2010

 

 

“I actually do think parts of the Bible are more valuable than others, more inspired than others. In fact, I think that some parts of the Bible have been put aside by the Christian revelation.”—Quote by Cecil Sherman, your typical Anti-Bible Biblically Illiterate unregenerate non-Christian Liberal Baptist apostate reprobated and heathen  heretic

 

Pre-requisites for this course: one must have completed the following courses—our course  on Absolute Truth and our course on Discernmentalist Church History 101 or candidates for this course must at  least have a sufficient and  satisfactory grasp on Discernmentalese: the official jargon that we use around here. Your Discernmentalese must be approved by your official instructors: the esteemed Dr. Truthslayer, the wise Dr. Arthur McJohn, the illustrious Dr. I. Todyaso and yours truly the pithy Dr. Don Jobson. Candidates for this course must have also completed part 1 of our course on Bible Literalism.

Your official instruction: We must think only in binary terms. Everything is black and white, either this or that—there are no in-betweens. Brainiac our field agent for Todd Friel (Wretched) says:

The literal sense is the only honest way to read. Honestly, the literal sense is literally the only honest way to read. If you care what the author said, read literally. If you do not care what the author said, do not bother reading.

We agree as metaphors do not exist in the Discernmentalist Worldview. Everything literally means what it says as long as it doesn’t clash with our Pure Doctrines and even if it does we’ll find some way to spin it literally such as: “Οὕτως γὰρ ἠγάπησεν ὁ Θεὸς τὸν κόσμον, ὥστε τὸν Υἱὸν τὸν μονογενῆ ἔδωκεν, ἵνα πᾶς ὁ πιστεύων εἰς Αὐτὸν μὴ ἀπόληται ἀλλ᾽ ἔχῃ ζωὴν αἰώνιον” doesn’t literally mean “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life”—but literally means that God literally loves and literally only died for the Elect and the Elect only literally.

Eventhough Jesus literally said “This Is My Body” which literally interpreted means exactly what it says that the bread in Communion is literally Jesus’ literal Body, we must take a self-righteous stand in our Truth Wars and come against the Eucharist/Real Presence as it literally has no place in our Pure Bibles. A literal interpretation of  “This Is My Body” literally clashes with the literalness of our Pure Doctrines. John MacArthur told us so and if he says it—it must literally be by default True because anything he literally says he speaks ex cathedra  and all that he speaks is ex cathedra not to mention literally infallible Absolute Truth. However we  Discernmentalists don’t need to appeal to John MacArthur to know that this is literally True. It is literally True because We Say and believe It is literally True.

We Know that in Psalm 137:9 God literally commands us to “take our babies and smash them against the rocks!”—though we literally stand against abortion. We Know that I Timothy 1:9-10 is literally about gay marriage. Everything in the Bible is about our American Gospel and can literally be summed up by our moral stances in Politics. However when Jesus says “Sell all your possessions and give to the Poor and follow Me (Matt. 19:16-26;Luke 12:33-34 and 14:33) ” He doesn’t literally mean that.  We  like the parts of the Bible that fit our Pure Doctrines but ignore the verses that we do not agree with, that do not make us comfortable in our American values and/or do not back up our Discernmentalist Worldview.

Our interpretive lens of the Bible is flawless and therefore Inerrant for the Bible and not Jesus is literally the literal Word of God (John 1:1) as John MacArthur literally states:

Neo-orthodoxy’s attitude toward Scripture is a microcosm of the entire existentialist philosophy: the Bible itself is not objectively the Word of God, but it becomes the Word of God when it speaks to me individually. In neo-orthodoxy, that same subjectivism is imposed on all the doctrines of historic Christianity. Familiar terms are used, but are redefined or employed in a way that is purposely vague—not to convey objective meaning, but to communicate a subjective symbolism. After all, any “truth” theological terms convey is unique to the person who exercises faith. What the Bible means becomes unimportant. What it means to me is the relevant issue. All of this resoundingly echoes Kierkegaard’s concept of “truth that is true for me.”

Thus while neo-orthodox theologians often sound as if they are affirming traditional beliefs, their actual system differs radically from the historic understanding of the Christian faith. By denying the objectivity of truth, they relegate all theology to the realm of subjective relativism. It is a theology perfectly suited for the age in which we live.

And that is precisely why it is so deadly.

This is why we must always interpret the Bible literally except for when it literally disagrees with our Pure Doctrines so take heart fellow Discernmentalists and remember these wise  and literal words of Brainiac:

Be a literalist. Read the Bible literally. If anyone objects, ask him if you should consider his objection literally. Or, you can explain that the Bible is literature, and that there is no other way to read it but literally.


Truthslayer And Don Jobson Present…

May 13, 2010

 

Nothing But The Truth: a new film that is all about the Absolute Truth from the producers of “They Came From Beyond….Modernism” and Nothing But The Truth Films. Nothing But The Truth stars Truthslayer, Don Jobson and all your other favorite ODMs as they seek to expose all to the Truth and nothing but the Truth by our own standards of Absolute Truth. Nothing But The Truth is a film that is sure to thrill and delight Discernmentalists for ages to come.

Ken Silva raves: “Nothing But The Truth contains more Truth than Emergents or my other enemies care to comprehend.”

The Wretched Ways Of The Master Religion Discernmentalism crew exclaims: ” Nothing But The Truth contains every major Truth that we care about from both John MacArthur’s Study Bible and Worldviewpedia, the free Christian Worldview encyclopedia—our inerrant and infallible insider  sources for all Absolute Truth.

Sharin’ Whiplash says excitedly: “Finally a film that proclaims ‘nothing but the Truth’ about why the rank apostasy of the Roman Arminian Free-Will loving  Pelagian based Religion of Modern Evangelicalism is the most “insidious and dangerous” threat facing the world of the Church today. How dare Arminians proclaim that God loves everyone even those whom He created for the sole purpose of sending to Hell for God has no obligation to love anyone–none whatsoever period.”

James White agrees and notes that ‘Nothing But The Truth captures John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ brilliantly and is a definitive statement on the Pure Doctrines of our Absolute Truth of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath towards all but a few as John MacArthur Truthfully and solemnly proclaims:’

“Liberal thinking about God’s love also permeates much of evangelicalism today. We have lost the reality of God’s wrath. We have disregarded His hatred for sin. The God most evangelicals now describe is all-loving and not at all angry. We have forgotten that “It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). We do not believe in that kind of God anymore.

We must recapture some of the holy terror that comes with a right understanding of God’s righteous anger. We need to remember that God’s wrath does burn against impenitent sinners (Psalm 38:1-3). That reality is the very thing that makes His love so amazing. Only those who see themselves as sinners in the hands of an angry God can fully appreciate the magnitude and wonder of His love.

In that regard, our generation is surely at a greater disadvantage than any previous age. We have been force-fed the doctrines of self-esteem for so long that most people don’t really view themselves as sinners worthy of divine wrath. On top of that, religious liberalism, humanism, evangelical compromise, and ignorance of the Scriptures have all worked against a right understanding of who God is. Ironically, in an age that conceives of God as wholly loving, altogether devoid of wrath, few people really understand what God’s love is all about.”

Rhoblogy proclaims: “Finally a Truly Christian film that understands ‘nothing but the Truth’ about the Absolute Sovereignty of our Pure Doctrines which are the Absolute Truth. I recomend this film to all (and by all I mean only the Truly Regenerated Elect) True Bible-Believing Republican Christians!”


Warning Ken Silva May Cause Death

May 12, 2010

 

Recently it has been brought to our attention that Ken Silva may in fact cause death. Perhaps because as a fellow Truth Warrior he is so close to the Absolute Truth that he is able to absorb God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath like a lighting rod. After absorbing and storing up enough of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath, he would then be able to reflect it like any good Static conductor of Absolute Truth will and then bounce it back off of him into those that attack our Truth.

For it is Written in the Truth Warrior Bible:

 “What if God, willing to show His Absolute Sovereign Wrath, and to make His Absolute Power known has Chosen and Frozen a select few Truth Warriors to be retrofitted wth Superhuman Absolute Truth and Wrath absorbing powers so that they may endure with much long-suffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction only to and all for His (God’s) Absolute Glory?”

Another way Ken can cause death is by using one of our Truth Rods and smacking apostate reprobates so full of the Absolute Truth that they give up the ghost:

However we propose it is the former rather than the latter as it is also Written in the Truth Warrior Bible that:

“The Lord is so angry with apostate reprobate sinners 1 that He will kill anyone among them who attack the Absolute Truth or reach out their hands to touch His Holy annointed Arks:  any of the select few specially chosen Truth Warriors that have been retrofitted wth Superhuman Absolute Truth and Wrath absorbing powers!”

Certainly Ken Silva with his closeness to the Absolute Truth is among  those of the select few specially chosen Truth Warriors that have been retrofitted wth Superhuman Absolute Truth and Wrath absorbing powers that can cause anyone’s death.

P. S. And also remember to check out our newest Discernmentalist film on Absolute Truth: “They Came From Beyond….Modernism” and our latest greatest promotion ever!


They came from…..

May 12, 2010

They came from beyond….modernism. Thankfully in this movie the MIGHTY ONLINE DISCERNMENTALISTS come to the rescue defending the American Gospel and modernism in one fell-swoop. Our heroes attempt to thwart the EMERGENT SAUCERS against those whochallenge TRUE theology which every bible-believing-right-wing Christian knows has been frozen in the 16th Century (and rescued again by Spurgeon)…and that absolute authentic theology was formulated, articulated, defended and argued from that time period and no other. There is no tweaking, investigating, re-articulating, questioning, or any contextualizing what-so-over….ever. Therefore, when the ugly emergent hordes from beyond come along they must be hunted down and their flying saucers and destroyed!

Just like the Roman Catholic Church, and Islam NOTHING shall be questioned!!! In fact if the Pope can speak ex cathedra…so can Calvin (his doctrines are UNCHANGEABLE). If the Roman Church is unchangeable,  we can be the same! This is why this discernmentalist movie had to be made. We had to point to the 16th Century truth….and show it in its absolutes…and with all your favourite heroes!

Here is one of the heretical-saucer-emergent-horde quotes from beyond that disgust us (and hopefully you too) and you will find in this great movie “you have to have essentials and common doctrines of belief. Let’s go to a core doctrine… if one doesn’t believe in the resurrection of Jesus (as some don’t who do call themselves “Christian”) you then have very different understandings of Jesus and what it means to follow Him. You either follow a dead Jesus who did not rise from the dead or….” (Dan Kimball) We deleted the rest of the quote to leave you hanging and to feel threatened by Kimball’s mysterious ending (hopefully you can muster some slander against this man!) We also deleted any parts of the movie that would give any favourable light to the Emergent scum. We thought that that was only fair since WE represent THE TRUTH.

Enjoy the movie!

Truthslayer


Don’t miss this!

May 11, 2010

True star power! This movie stars Truthslayer, and other “little people” that truthfully (because that is all I can speak) don’t really count.This is not like all those pagan movies….this is about the bedrock truths. Absolute truth cloaked in awkward dialogue, plot twists that would astound pre-schoolers but always family safe.

In this movie I strive for truth…as always I can do no less.

I clash over truth.

I fight for truth.

I slander for truth.

I malign for truth.

And last but not least….I lie for truth’s sake. We also recommend other classic truth-movies.

Truthslayer

PS If you see this movie MORE than THREE times we will award you an honourary ODMafia Certificate of Discernmentalism.


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