Breaking: Discernmentalists to release newly discernmentalized version of “controversial” Arthur episode!

May 17, 2019

heterorat

Discernmentalists’ Discernmentalized Version of the Ratburn wedding episode of Arthur

Discernmentalists around the web have banded together to stop the assault on our Biblical marriages by fictional gay cartoon rats as we’ve already explained: Here and Here. So in keeping with our Discernmentalist traditions—we’ve decided to release a newly ghey and Canadian-free discernmentalized version of said “controversial” Arthur episode. Dr. Truthslayer has assured me that he has rounded up an all hetero white Conservative Bible-believing American voice cast to make sure the voice acting is ghey free. Ken Ham has overseen the reanimation process so that no lines may tempt viewers into becoming ghey. Dr. I. Todyaso has written an impeccable script and a PSA that will show at both the beginning and the end of the episode.

In our new discernmentalized version of this episode—suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham will voice act the Minister that will Biblically marry Mr. Ratburn to a Mrs. Ratburn instead of a Mr. Whocares. After the wedding Mr. Ratburn being a Bible-believing rat will assert his Male Headship over his new wife reminding her that her place is at home in the kitchen making his dinner and baby rats. On weekends when he’s not forcing doing Bible-based stuff with his new wife or doing his job to support and protect her through his 401k Elementary school teaching career—he’ll give Brain extra credit assignments just so he can get Brain alone so he can preach the Gospel of God’s Wrath to that smart-aleck atheist sinner.

The next half of the episode will feature Mr. Ratburn teaching the kids of Lakewood Elementary the Bible-believing values of picketing abortion clinics. Francine will accuse her garbage-collecting dad of being a liberal Environmentalist in league with an Emergent Global Warming cult. The kids will out Muffy as a closeted anti-American commie for writing a blog that sounds suspiciously liberal: Muffington Post. {Edit: We would make another joke but we’ve erased all the gheyness from this originally abominable episode}. In the end Brain will finally get regenerated and accept his salvation through Mr. Ratburn’s preaching of the Law of the Angry Sovereign God of Wrath through a Way of the Master: “Are you a good person?” test. Afterwards Mr. Ratburn forces Brain to do a book report on Ray Comfort* Hell’s Best Kept Secret—Brain then agrees that bananas prove that Evolution is a myth invented by liberally socialistic atheist scientists as well as Global Warming. The End?

{*- Note: Ray Comfort’s lawyer made us sign a non-disclosure agreement so we can’t tell you that when he heard about our project he begged us to let him be a part of it and to let us let him plug his book and ways of evangelism through guilt and fear. Also Kirk Cameron and Candace Cameron-Bure’s as well so we can’t tell you that Kirk Cameron is voicing the Brain; Candace is voicing Francine as well as Muffy and Mrs. Ratburn/all the girl parts (so we could cut costs—we also pay her less); and Ray of course is voicing Mr. Ratburn.} 

“Finally an animated anthropomorphic animal marriage for True Bible-believers and a great Bible-believing episode of Arthur. This is entertainment as it’s meant to be—a fight on the leftist assault on our values, eyes and ears— please consider a large donation to the Online Discernmentalist Mafia to help us continue our good fight on fictional gay characters like cartoon rats.”—Activist Mommy after viewing a donors’ only sneak preview of the newly discernmentalized version of the “controversial” Arthur episode.

Protecting the children through fear,

Don Jobson

 


Emerging Church Tied To Horrible Plane Crash…

September 22, 2011

This just goes to show just how far the Emerging Church will go to justify their ungodly rebellion against the Only True and Correct Doctrines.

New raw footage of last Friday’s deadly air show crash in Reno shows the doomed plane nosediving and exploding on audience.

Watch: Crowd screams ‘Oh my God’

In related news: The Emerging Church has also been tied to a brutally fatal shark attack. We have evidence just read this: “We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ” That’s just how sinisterly vile and disgusting these Emergent types are in their corruption of Pure Doctrine… They violently try to fight the Truth of Orthodoxy by leading people astray into apostasy. This is why we must fight this Truth War to protect God’s Truth from those infected by the Emerging Church disease.

All my researchmentalism on this subject has been “well-researched” so you should just take my word as Absolute Truth and fact. In fact, you all should thank God for this site and sites like the infallible Ken Silva’s CRN for our great and important research such as this article!  If you didn’t have us to Take A Stand on things such as this matter the Emerging hordes will destroy God’s Truth.


The Demarcation Line – Part 2 (Don’t rock the boat!)

November 19, 2010

We support Eric’s mighty stand. Do you????

He notes “Now, just as in the “Age of the Apologist” (2nd century AD), when Bible believers rock the boat of the liberals, Emergents, and cultists, etc., particular individuals whose comfort zone has been violated react negatively against us.”

Translation: Rocking the boat equals asking questions about our current biblical assumptions (ie foundationalism, attachment to nationalism & modernism), assuming not everything the Reformers noted as gospel truth, critical thinking, questioning literalism or being pro-peace (which is really a form of anti-christ marxism), opposing strawman arguments and misapprehending truth.

Moreover, if you do not hold to a modernistic biblical worldview….you are a liberal emergent , or just plain emergent or worse (really its all the same, there is no point in any form of critical thinking here). Remember, if you do not agree with Take A Stand Ministries you are categorically a liberal (we support this view).

Don’t rock the boat. Just believe Eric’s Take A Stand Ministries when he states that they “bible believing folk” because that means that those in opposition to straw man attacks, adhominem arguments are simply anti-bible.

Remember we need to use whatever methods work to defend the truth, even if they are not truthful.

Truthslayer


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


ODM Science Lesson # 6

September 12, 2010

100%  Todd Friel Approved:

P. S. Buy our new anti-science book!


ODM Science Lesson # 5

August 12, 2010

 And you thought there  was an end to our science lessons:

P. S. Bible Monkey before you joined us in our Truth War ways we meant this for you—but I guess now we need your help in sending this out to Eugene Peterson. His Message is one of apes and monkeys and New Age Spirituality.


Eric Barger saves planet earth!

July 30, 2010

 

Actual simulation of the event as Eric Barger described it!

In a rare moment of courage, Eric Barger stood up to an actual enemy instead of made up ones! Martians emerged from the sky yesterday and began spreading Martianisms at Eric Barger’s church. In a moment straight out of an H G Wells movie, Eric Barger stopped the evil emerging horde of Martians by… sneezing on them. At first the Martians were just disgusted, then after wiping off the mucus, they read a chapter of Eric Barger’s book on UFO encounters, laughed and determined there was no intelligent life on planet earth. We here at the ODMafia are proud to say that shoddy research saved you and if you keep supporting us, we will keep it coming.


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