Our Favorite Hymn from the Truth War Hymnal!

July 18, 2019

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Discernmentalists rejoice—our Truth War finally has a hymn we can get behind. Hymn #1984 from The Truth War Hymnal—the only known Absolute hymnal for Bible-Believing Conservatives and Internet Discernmentalists everywhere. Here is the version sung by the Internet Discernmentalist Men’s Choir from their hit debut album Hymns Of The Truth War:

        JESUS HATES YOU      

BY AUGUSTUS TOPLADY XIII, Esquire

Jesus hates you! This We know
For Fatalistic Pre-determinism tells us so
Little ones created just to destroy
All for the sake of God’s Sovereign Jealous joy!

Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you

And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too

Jesus loves We Truth Warriors, we will win!
For we can’t fall away by sin.
Can’t resist His grace, it’s true,
Died for us but not for you.

Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you

And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too

All Spiritualizing is just fine.
His body’s trapped at God’s right hand,
Way far off Christ takes His stand

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Jesus loves me! Where is He?
Up in heaven, can’t you see?
Can’t be sure where I will go
Jesus little lamb, or no?

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Never pictures will I see,
No vain images for me!
Tear the paintings off the wall,
Trash them, kick them down the hall.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Principles that regulate,
All our worship, ain’t they great?
Even if we aren’t too sure,
Which points really are secure.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

©2007-2010®™


New From ODM/Acme C.O. Products….

May 3, 2019

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SMUG ALLDAY Spray for that healthy self-righteous glow! Keeps that smug/arrogant/condescending look on a Dicernmentalist’s face all day. Just one spray guarantees extra protection from wetness that most Baptist diseases are contacted from—also guaranteeing to keep Discernmentalists doctrinally pure in our essential theology. Never lack a reason to argue with and judgmentalize others as you’ll never have to worry about lacking in Absolute Certainty or the Hard Truths that shield all Discernmentalists from Emergent and Catholic errors. SMUG ALLDAY Spray is made from 100% Pure and Essential Biblical Oils and is the perfect product for the Discermentalist Apologist always itching for a debate.

Act now for self-satisfaction guaranteed—still not convinced…take a look at these before and after pics which speak for themselves:

smugnessBuy it now to join our self-satisfied consuming SMUG ALLDAY Discernmentalist family!! 100% Discernmentalist guaranteed 100% of the time all day everyday so buy it now or you’re an apostate.


The Silva Bullet!

April 27, 2019

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Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET.  A Aperising Pictures  Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker.  Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.

Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!” 

Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now  there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:

  • Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
  • Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
  • WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.

Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.

This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


Ken Silva’s Upcoming Soon To Be Released New Album

September 30, 2010

“Flesh off the CD plesses Ken “Intelnet Pastol-Teachel” Sirva will soon lerease his ratest cliticarry acraimed hit musicararbum, My Rife As Soopa Discelnmentarist” (Source: Discernmentalize Japan News Agency). “A tru mastapiece!”—Tokyo Times raves! “Bigger than a Toyota and heartier than a pail full of sushi, Ken Silva’s newest album is truly larger than life,” says Osaka Records Corp. 

OD Mafia inside source to all things Ken Silva, our very own Dr. I. Todyaso proclaims:  “Ken has done it again by melding  his dreams of being a rock star with his dreams of being top Discernmentalist with his newest album based on his adventures in Japan. This is sure to be a major hit till Armageddon comes in 2012—when the angry sovereign American flag waving warrior Jesus comes back in His full wrath to slay all those who didn’t participate in John MacArthur’s Truth Wars by pledging allegiance to John MacArthur and Todd Friel’s Angry American God of sovereign wrath and nuclear bombs.” Dr. Truthslayer, Arthur McJohn and I agree.

Here is a music video of the first single from the album—the song is entitled “Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War” known in Japan by it’s alternative title, “The Jet Jaguar Fight Song”:

Using the rough translation from this early cut of the single we’ve rendered the full translation as such:

“Ken Silva’s Battle Hymn Of The Truth War”

By Ken Silva

HE DISCELMENTARIST MADE OF STEEL…

NO EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL TOO MUCH RIKE YOGA
KEN SIRVAS ? KEN SIRVAS !
NOTHING NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM WELL
HE DISCELMENTARISM COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICALLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT WISH HE N JOHN MACALTHUR COULD KNOCK BLIAN MACRAREN OFF THE TOP

KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO’S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON’T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !…
DO TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN


The 666 Sense

July 31, 2010

Eric Barger‘s favorite film from McCarthy Ministries:


Christo-Fascistview Radio Notes UFOs Planning Attack

July 28, 2010

 

Jan Markell: July 27
Rich Christiano joins Jan to talk about those pesky little UFOs. Should Christians take this seriously? Yes! Christiano has produced a film about the subject — a film good for spreading the gospel. He believes, as does this ministry, that these UFOs are demonic manifestations due to the lateness of the hour. After the Rapture, the world will say that these objects took people away and good riddance.

OD Mafia Editor’s Note: We have reason to suspect Obama, Lew Rockwell, Rob Bell and all Muslims have something to do with this.


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