Eggs may breed unbiblical ideas says ODM scientists

June 13, 2010

In a world that gets more and more technologically sophisticated, ODM scientists have concluded that eggs may be THE culprit for the spread of the emerging hordes. It has been suggested that the proteins found in eggs may help disseminate the deadly emerging disease. By scanning each egg for a particular enzyme it may be theoretically possible to  reduce the growth of this outrageous movement.

Slice of Laodicea (now Crostalk), Apprising Ministries, Take A Stand, Herescope, Discerning the World and ODMafia are now rejecting eggs wholesale (just to be paranoid safe). Just a reminder – An egg free world will lead to an emergent free world.  iTodyaso, deep in his emergent free-bomb resistant bunker suggested “I refuse to ingest ANY egg products lest this leads me into emergent heresy or the use of emergent buzzwords.”

Truthslayer

ODM scientists are now studying other food stuffs in hope of linking other heresies with possible foods (ie linking pasta with the entirety of Roman Catholicism & nuts with Charismatics).


Maybe we should not be so concerned with colatoral damage says Greg Koukle

April 23, 2010

Greg Koukle, apologists for Stand to Reason Ministries states “‘I don’t believe that Torture is wrong in itself…” Afterall he thinks….it could be simple matter of collateral damage (i.e.  napalm a village and firebomb Desden) Heck they are bad guys, and they are not like us.

We like words like “collateral damage” too because it avoids less comfortable terms like dismemberment, disembowelment or the death of children being incidental. Again, we don’t have to love our enemies, we just need to keep our way of living from being unchanged.

Sometimes we can think of collateral damage as being secondary damage, damage therefore that is not primary.  For instance, “your children have died due to collateral damage…but don’t worry, their deaths were secondary to our primary target.” I think as a parent, relative or friend I would feel much better and so should you once they have explained it that way. We need to be clear that good Christians need to be pro-military, and believe that all people in the Middle East are bad guys and if required need to be tortured. This too is one of the few ways that they really can see that we REPRESENT JESUS, or bring them the GOSPEL. If we are soft on enemies, they too may see us as soft, or full of grace, or love, or even mercy. We never want to be perceived as weak and vulnerable.

Remember, persecute thine enemies, hate them and do bad to them. Do to others before they get you.

Truthslayer


Torture (or fire bombing) not wrong in itself says Greg Koukle (part 1)

October 11, 2009

fire

Greg Koukle of Stand To Reason Ministries suggested in a podcast ‘I don’t believe that Torture is wrong in itself…..what do you call it when we napalm a village and firebomb dresden ? When we carpet bomb japan?”

I think normally we would call this vile, horrendous, and grotesque…but IF we are doing this in the name of America (and we know bible believing believers know that Jesus approves of American foreign policy) it is absolutely a good thing. Torture must be sanctioned in our bible believing land.

Moreover, because Greg is an apologist and he is a conservative like one of us…. we must support one another against the liberal incursion….otherwise terrorists will overrun 300 million Americans in a great stampede.

Finally, Medieval Catholics can get away with torturing in the name of the church we protestants should at least have some breathing room to torture in the name of our blessed nation state too! We don’t want to be left out. )-:

So come on guys, let’s find other ways to further legitimize torture (biblically speaking)… just don’t confuse us with Fascists….like Nazis (we’re better because we believe in Jesus).


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