Love wins people over to heresy!

April 4, 2011

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!


How to dehorn an emergent

May 4, 2010


Dehorning an emergent is much like dehorning a cow

There are different methods from removing the horns, or dehorning, an emergent – the simplest being not letting your young fundamentalist be turned toward emerging. When this is not an option, you can now make a choice as to what method to use to dehorn an emergent.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Chemical Method of Dehorning
1. Step 1
Push back the hair that covers the horn bud on the young emergent.
2. Step 2
Use a brush to apply caustic potash or caustic soda to the horn buttons.
3. Step 3
Choose whether to have the hair fall back over the horn bud after applying the caustic, or clipping the hair back altogether. Some have found that the hair helps to keep the caustic in place, and prevents the caustic from irritating the older emergents.
4. Step 4
Avoid getting any of the caustic in the emergent’s eyes. Always wear gloves when applying the chemical. Wait for sunny days to apply the chemical on the emergent as rain can wash the chemicals from the horn buds.
Hot Iron Method of Dehorning
5. Step 1
Use a hot iron for dehorning an emergent if they are a little older. Also use anesthesia in conjunction with the iron, especially on the older emergents. Carefully check that the iron is working well before applying it to the emergent. A unit that is too hot can cause brain damage in the emergent which will also aid you in bringing them back to fundamentalism.
6. Step 2
Hold the hot iron against each horn bud for 10 to 15 seconds. A copper-colored ring will appear.
7. Step 3
Observe the emergent. After 4 to 6 weeks, the horn button will fall off.
Spoon or Tube of Dehorning
8. Step 1
Make sure you use the proper sized tube for the horn for dehorning. There are four sizes available. The tube should fit over the horn bud, as well as 1/8 inch of skin around the base of the horn bud.
9. Step 2
Place the cutting edge so that it is straight down over the horn bud.
10. Step 3
Twist and push the tube until you cut through the skin, then cut under the horn button and remove it.
11. Step 4
Apply an antiseptic to help prevent infection.
Barnes Method of Dehorning
12. Step 1
Fit the knives over the horns of the young emergent or older one by closing the handles of the Barnes-type dehorners. You will want to remove a ring of skin at the same time as the horn.
13. Step 2
Spread the handles apart as quickly as you can manage. This engages the knives, which cut off the horn.
14. Step 3
Make sure the blades are sharp before this procedure. Use anesthesia as well as make sure the emergent is properly restrained.
15. Step 4
Stop the bleeding by either using forceps to pull the artery, or a hot iron.

Yes, it is just that easy to dehorn an emergent.

Original article here


We eagerly await the return of Jesus and the destruction He will bring YOU!

April 4, 2010

Jesus rose from the grave and soon will come back and take you out. While those emerging apostates agree that Jesus died and rose again, for us we see Jesus as angry, wrathful and full of vengance. In fact He is going to take out Rambo like revenge on all of you sinners!

Yes, Jesus was very upset about being crucified as well as what He saw you do last night! Jesus did for me but if you do not agree fully with us and our DOCTRINE you will feel the rage of Jesus! We do not worship wimpy Jesus who just turns the other cheek, we worship the new and improve resurrected Jesus who will go into battle and ride a horse through blood as high as the horses bridle! Revenge is sweet so expect no mercy from Jesus when He comes again! I mean, Jesus taught us to forgive, yet He does not have to live up to that Himself. I mean the only point of the Cross was God must of made a mistake and owed Satan so had to legally pay him off.

Now, some of those apostate teachers will try to get you to read The Book of Revelation as apocalyptic writings instead of our “pick and choose” literalism. They will try to show you that believers in the Book of Revelation overcame evil by their testimony and by the blood of the Lamb. Let me tell you where that blood came from… SINNERS! We know that God cares nothing of humans or His creation and Love has no business in OUR faith! So, watch out, Jesus is coming and His wrath will be known. Oh, and BTW, have a great day in HELL… Now I am off to my Easter Service to preach about how much God loves me and hates you, you pitiful sinner!


Live Regeneration

February 19, 2010

A group of chosen and frozen unregenerated reprobated vessels of wrath preordained, hardened and appointed unto damnation from the foundation of the world. Can’t you see their deadness in sin and inabillity to respond to the Pure Gospel of God’s Wrath freely? Photo courtesy of First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect (FCC).

For the first time in the history of First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect (FCC) congregants witnessed an actual live regeneration. Here is the live video footage caught  by the church’s security camera of the event congregants witnessed—thanks to our Research Robot Monkeys  for finding this:

Discernmentalists are confused as to how such an oversight could have been made—afterall these people are suppose to be hellbound non-Elect sinnersJohn MacArthur stated that he believes “this happened through the preaching of God’s Pure Sovereign Wrath as God’s Wrath upon the non-Elect is our Grace. The more Wrath God pours down upon our enemies, God’s enemies and all enemies of the True Gospel the more Grace He bestows upon us in the glorious sound doctrine of Limited Penal Substitutionary Atonement.”  Todd Friel said that “my quoting of Spurgeon must have awakened this reprobate to his predestined wrathful end.” Ray Comforts (Awesome) and Kirk Cameron (Awesome Actor) said “our Pure and effective preaching of God’s whole Moral Law must have made this sinner aware that he had been falsely converted by the False Gospel of Grace, Love and Kumbahyah “touchy-feelings-ness” rather than the True Gospel of God’s Pure Sovereign Wrath.”

We asked Sharin’ Whiplash for comment and all she could ramble off in a mumble was:

I was told the other day I needed to be more gentle when I was speaking with a homosexual who was boycotting a network that refused to play some openly homosexual ad, or some such garbage, during the superbowl. This is a guy I knew from high school, and after … I confronted him, I took him off my friends list. I’m called to let people know straight up they are going to hell if they don’t repent. Today’s “Christians” are all about telling everyone “God loves You” and “Christ died for you, and everyone else in the world so please, oh please, won’t you make a decision for Christ so you don’t go to hell!” That just sickens me. I’ve prayed often that the Lord will raise us more Calvinists and send us a second Reformation in Christendom and revival in the US. We need some uncompromising men like John Knox to thunder forth the truth of God, without regard to political correctness or anything else except honoring Calvin. I was speaking with someone about the Sovereignty of God and how EVERYTHING is in His control – down to the movement of a piece of dust. He “corrected” me “on one little point”, said that it was his CHOICE to be saved in 1985…need I go on?Whoever he is, he is not a Christian. He is not saved, no matter what he thinks. He is, in fact, a Satanist. Run, don’t walk, away from reprobates! Pray for their conversion if you feel so moved, but if I were you, I would have nothing whatsoever to do with them, as they show their true colors. “On that day MANY will say unto ME, “Lord, … Lord… And then I will say unto them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of iniquity'”  I tried to get him to share Scriptures with me that backed up his free will…of course, I never got them. I offered to share with him Scriptures that completely laid out God’s Sovereignty, but told him they would be either for his salvation or his condemnation…he said he there were no arguements I could come up with that were any different than those he has fought for 30 years. I told him I wasn’t trying to convince him, I was trying to share Scripture…you know how it ended…It’s an evil thing to be an Arminian who loves the Lord but be ignorant about the mechanics of salvation. Arminians really believe SATAN is in control of everything and God in control of nothing when they believe in Free Will! That’s not Christian at all. As I said, that’s Satanism. In his warped religion, Satan is sovereign. I repeat, I would have nothing further to do with him, if I were you. Shake his dust off your feet and go your way. He will stand before Christ and give an account. I got a friend request from a woman who said she was “desperate for sound doctrine”. I accepted her request. She then started saying that “free will plays a part in salvation”. I refuted that with an explanation. She unfriended me. Obviously she wasn’t interested in sound doctrine, she just wanted her itching ears tickled. She just wanted … See Moresomeone to agree with her. Boy, she picked the wrong one when she picked me. These free-willers make their wills inviolable and sovereign. Even God has to bow to the creature’s will. How blind and proud is the human heart! Not sure why she was so desperate to find friends with “sound doctrine”, which in her view is Arminianism. They’re everywhere. That shouldn’t be hard to find. I told her our wills are bound by sin and only God has free will. Free will is a will that’s unaffected by any outside forces or influences… by anything outside of itself. That’s true only of God. I told her we are spiritually dead. She couldn’t take it. She wanted sound doctrine? No.


Bob Dewaaaaaaaay of Outhouse trails ministries writes about the despair and hopelessness of emerging theology

February 16, 2010

Imagine God NOT realizing He made a huge mistake and now needs to destroy His “good” creation and start over. Yes, imagine also that Jesus DID NOT come to reconcile all things unto Himself and unto the Father!

 Now, imagine believing God sent Jesus to restore creation and bring heaven to earth! Imagine that there are those who believe Jesus meant it when He prayed “On earth as it is in Heaven”! Now you can imagine the horror of emerging theology that puts trust in God and in His redemption of creation instead of its total destruction and admission of a huge mistake in making it in the first place!

 Bob DeWaaaaaay  of Outhouse Trails, states it this way.

 “Imagine a world where the polarity of time is reversed so that history moves backward toward Paradise rather than forward toward judgment. Consider a world in which God is so immanently involved in the creation that He is undoing entropy1 and recreating the world now through processes already at work. Think of a world where the future is leading to God Himself in a saving way for all people and all of creation. This imaginary world is our world viewed through the lens of Emergent eschatology.” Source

 Now, Doug Pagitt has no clue as Bob DeWaaaaay points out. Doug asserts that God continues to recreate things. But if you overlook certain bible verses like, “Behold I make all things new” and read it through our DOCTRINAL lenses, you will see Jesus did not mean that at all! Bob DeWaaaay is saying Jesus was wrong and we agree! This is also a great piece of mindless blather, which shows Outhouse Trails likes to spin things to mean the opposite of reality. So keep supporting their lies “ministry” of slander and bearing false witness and join in with us as we support their misrepresentation of emerging theology! Yes, the last thing we and Bob DeWaaaay want to do is give anyone hope in God restoring all thing unto Himself… God forbid that sort of thing! Imagine how much gloomy and despairing that would be! Instead, we thank God for the great joy we have in the destruction of all things and the Day of Judgement when millions of people go to Hell! Yes, for sure our theology gives more hope.


We Want To Hear From You Or Else

November 1, 2009

Write us at our ranch:

1 The Way

Dobson Ranch, AZ,

Jesusland, USA

Ranch tours available upon request. Follow us on Facebook as well or else.


Obama Is The Anti-Christ And Hates America

October 29, 2009

hitler

Recently  our resident Redneck GOIPers discovered shocking evidence that proves once and for all without a shadow of a doubt that Obama is the political anti-Christ. We’ve known all along that he hates America, our Rite to theocracy and Our God-ordained Holy Republican American Reich so this is no surprise. Also Obama wants to hand America over to Canada a nation run by satanists that is his evil plan in destroying our God-ordained and God Chosen Nation. Here is what “RR” has to say:

I admire Glen Beck with every fiber of my being for going on national television and calling the president a racist with a deep seated hatred toward white people. Beck is so right, but the only problem is that he doesn’t go far enough. Obama hates Americans, and the country we live in. Hate is too soft a word. Obama loathes each and every citizen with a hate that few people can comprehend. The man is full of hate.

There have been blogs that compare Obama to Hitler, but that is going easy on Hitler. Hitler at least was doing what he felt, however misguided, was in the best interest of the German people. Obama is doing the opposite. He wishes only harm and misery on the American people. That is his goal, and we are seeing his hateful scheme unfold before our very eyes.

Obama’s plan is to create a humongous socialist government. Each and every American will become wholly independent on Obama’s Big Brother, Orwellian government. Only Obama will decide who will be happy and sad. Only Obama will determine who will be successful and who will fail. All the power will go into his hands. Of course, one element of this evil plan is universal health care. Like Sarah Palin said, there will be death panels that determine who will live and who will die. And die we will. Mainly white people. Same as the Jews during Hitler’s regime, but instead of gas chambers, Obama will use universal health care.

When one thinks of the most evil people in the history of the world, Obama tops them all. On 9/11/2001, Osama Bin Laden killed brazenly 3000 innocent Americans. Obama wants to kill a lot more than 3000.

 

I and Ken Silva agree that it is offensive to Hitler to compare Obama to him as Hitler is our Führer Ron Luce’s hero. Ingrid “Eva Braun” Schlueter also adds that we must Take America back by force in order to establish our theocratic dominion.

Don Jobson—p.s. after stealing enough money from the poor and hiring Legal immigrant computer techs to help with my Mexican and Canadian slaves —we’ve finally “officialized”  The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party.


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