Former Beagles, Slice of Laodicea, John MacArthur unite for charity

Former Beagles members, Slice of Laodicea and John MacArthur wowed Radio City Music Hall, discerning together for the first time in seven years with a star-studded backup research group, at a benefit to introduce children to Discernmental meditation.

The former Discernmentalists accused three people of heresy while together, they also broke out in song including such hits as “I Saw Her Sinning There,” “Magical Discernmentalist Tour”, “All you need is absolute truth,” while Apprising Ministries, Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries, Red Pen and Herescope provided reseachmentalist accompaniment.

Truthslayer reports

John MacArthur exposed by Tim Challies: caught Promoting Women Preaching as pointed out by Phil Johnson and Pyromaniacs!!!!!

Proof

“There’s no case that can be made biblically for a woman preacher – period – paragraph – end of discussion.”—John MacArthur

Unless of course they partner with us in our anti-Charismatic; Cessationist and Purposeless Gospel of Reformed Cultural interpretations of the Bible:

Joni Eareckson Tada opened the second sessions of #StrangeFire with a duet with John MacArthur and a powerful testimony of her failed attempt to receive a miraculous healing at a Kathryn Kuhlman crusade. Joni explained how the Lord has worked consistently through her suffering to sanctify her, and how she wouldn’t trade that sanctifying work for any amount of walking. (See video: Here!)

More Proof* *-Sermon: A sermon is an oration or lecture by a preacher (who is usually a member of clergy). Sermons address a scriptural, theological, religious, or moral topic, usually expounding on a type of belief, law, or behavior within both past and present contexts. Elements of the sermon often include exposition, exhortation, and practical application. The act of delivering a sermon is called preaching.

A little leavening and a Slice of Laodicea later and a dose of Pyromaniacs added to the lump pointed this out to us:

Joni shared the struggle she’s had as her affliction has forced her to confront the corruption in her own heart. She has had cancer, she has severe chronic pain — just think about that for a moment — she has constant daily struggles. But in it, Joni has found a hope to hang on to that is very different than the focus of most prominent Charismatic leaders: Jesus, the Gospel, heaven. Joni shared that she and her husband Ken talk about pain being splashovers of Hell. Then what are splashovers of Heaven? Not happy days, they concluded, but finding Jesus in the splashovers of Hell.

In fact, one of the most poignant reflections Joni shared (in my words) was that a new, healthy body is not what she is most looking forward to about resurrection life. What she most looks forward to is the full healing of her heart, the final removal of its remaining corruptions and temptations. In other talks she has said that she plans to thank Jesus for her wheelchair, and for what He has taught her through it. It calls to mind Solzhenitsyn’s “Bless you, prison, for being my life.”

She noted that Jesus was never “about” healing; alluding to Mark 1, she noted that when healings threatened to take focus away from His preaching, He would move on.

The late Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries and his Christian Research Network noted that Joni was part of the Women of Faith Conference and that at another conference:
Ruth Haley Barton, a contemplative mystic, will be attending. At this conference— the Assembly of God “Believe” conference event in Orlando, Florida, August 5-9, 2013, along with Franklin Graham, Christine Caine of Hillsong, Australia, Judah Smith, and Joni Eareckson Tada, among many others.

All we have to say is why John why? Why slip into the emerging Emergent church apostasy that promotes such heretical things like God is love and God is for salvation?

 

 

Discernmentalist Values…

“Brannon Howse: …I’ve been dealing with the issue of social justice, the social Gospel, collectivism, globalism, internationalism, statism, whatever you want to call it. It’s a lot of the same thing, saving socialism, for many, many years. I’ve been writing and speaking now for close to 30 years. 28 years I think to be precise, and written several books, and I’m not one of these guys that just writes books to have books to write. I try to write books that are very pertinent and timely and if I don’t write a book for a few years that’s fine, but after so many years of studying this and watching the things from the left come within mainstream Evangelicalism, yes we know that the mainline liberal churches are doing all this, but now to watch social justice, socialism, redistribution of wealth, the pushing of reparations, which is going to be a tax to try to make up for slavery, reparations in America, that’ll be a part of a Reagan-type campaign by the Marxists. Mandatory minimum incomes, that’ll be again something that’s being really promoted by groups like the Gospel Coalition, and again who would oppose it when it’s coming from a group like the Gospel Coalition with well-known Evangelicals involved They’re pushing all these things and more, and this is in the mainstream Evangelical area. Guys like Jim Wallace, Ron Sider, Tony Campolo, who have always been on the far left and promoting and praising pretty much every Communist revolution in South America, claiming the Anti-Communists were part of the dark forces, all these guys who were in the ’80s seen as being what they were, leftist Neo-Marxist, and now they’ve come mainstream into Evangelicalism and people we never thought are locking arms with them and literally working with them and serving on boards and committees together, and so I’m seeing the merging of Marxism with Christianity. …One (false idea) would be this idea that we owe the poor as much money as we can give them. There’s an article in Christianity Today a few years ago where Tim Keller is being interviewed and he said that. “We owe the poor as much money as we can give them.” That’s nowhere in the Bible. These guys take a lot of verses in the New Testament dealing with the New Testament Church and they take the word poor, which often is dealing with the spiritual poor, the spiritual bankrupt, the beggar who cannot save himself, he’s spiritually bankrupt. That’s why Christ cried out on the cross, “It is finished. Debt paid in full.” Banking term. The righteous life of Christ can be imputed or credited to your account through faith and repentance, two sides of a coin. “By grace, through faith you’re saved. Now of yourself, [inaudible 00:06:54].” He mentioned both. That was a banking term. It’s a transaction. Debt paid in full. It’s done. “We’ve been put on the auction block and we were on the auction block and our master was sin. We’ve been purchased with a price. We are not our own. Christ bought us with His own blood.” These verses that deal with the poor are often the spiritual poor, the spiritual bankrupt, the beggar. They want to take them and say that we need to give to the poor and help the poor, and they take a lot of Scripture out of context to do it. Matthew 25 is one of their favorites. “I was naked. I was in prison,” all this. That’s Jesus dividing the kingdom. Excuse me, Jesus setting up His kingdom. At the second coming, dividing the sheep from the goats. Again, they take Scripture out of context. There’s not one verse in the New Testament says that the New Testament Church is to redistribute its limited resources to the unsafe poor. Now that does not mean that we cannot be helping unsafe poor people as a platform the Gospel, but no call for redistribution of wealth to the unsafe poor but definitely to care for the poor inside the New Testament Church.

Sam Rohrer: The insidious cloaking and mixing of economics, wealth, and power and money on one hand, which is within the purview of the jurisdiction of civil government, with the Biblical concern for the poor, the needy, and those who are without, which are within the purview and responsibility of the Church, the mixing of these two is one major strategy of cultural Marxism, but it’s the inappropriate mixing as they do. The Bible’s clear on all matters of life and living, and if carefully applied, will always bring the results that God promises.” (Source)

We proudly support Discernmentalist Values. We support taking Scriptures out of context to support Capitalism as everyone knows capitalism is Biblical. We know the Crucified Christ approves of this. We know the Reformers would support us in our anti-Social Justice gospel as Luther said:

 “He who has nothing to live should be aided. If he deceives us, what then? He must be aided again.”

“ . . . In a well-arranged commonwealth the debts of the poor who are in need ought to be cancelled, and they ought to be helped; hence the action of collecting has its place only against the lazy and the ne’er-do-well” (“Lectures on Deuteronomy”).

So remember to uncritically support:

• Free-market Capitalism instead of Social Justice.
• War-mongering instead of peace-making
• Corporate slavery instead of freedom
• Ignorance instead of education
• Conspiracy Theories instead of facts
• Fake News instead of reality and Truth

Ignorance is our strength—it’s the Discernmentalist Way!

ODMafia approved

Pray To A Plant: Get Saved!

The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.

Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:

If we don’t want our churches turning into prayer-halls to shrubs and plants; if we don’t want our children crafting idols out of creation, then we need to make sure that our Bible Colleges have suitable gardeners who are using the right tools. There is only one seed God gives, that is his word as found in the explanations and study notes of  John MacArthur’s Study Bible (PBUI). There is only one seed which produces life, that is bearing mental assent to the Gospel of Calvinistic Soteriology perfectly articulated and accurately proclaimed fully in all of it’s illustrious and glorious points as professed and ascribed by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH).

Besides that the only idol worthy of our church sanctuaries is the American flag—Sola Gloria to our military might! We should daily be confessing our sins of lapsed Patriotism by tearfully placing our hands upon our hearts and pledging allegiance to our Holy Flag—and mightily thanking our soldiers for invading other people’s countries and defending our freedom to worship.

Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.

Eric…Heresy Free!

The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer:

‘I thank you, God, that I am not a HERETIC like everyone else. For my theological doctrines are pure (American & conservative), I pray 3 times a day (unlike my Muslim enemies who pray excessively at 5 prayers), I refuse to address social justice (because that sounds too my like socialism), I attack anyone who critiques capitalism (because consumerism, accumulation & exploitation) has nothing to do with the good news (and unAmerican). I also criticize anyone who speaks against militarism by calling them commies and liberals…because I am thankful to be alone in holding up the absolute biblical truth.

Finally ….I thank-you that I go from church to church to speak against other believers & calling them false teachers, heretics and apostates.”

Hunting down heretics and spotting heresies in our many enemies for your protection,

Truthslayer out (as in outing heretics)!

Boogie-Foot! Lives: A Cousin Of Bigfoot?

TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.

We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:

Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.

His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck.  His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide.  His mouth was wide enough to show most of them.  His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes.  They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them.  His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer.  His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans.  He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)

When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit.  They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old.  Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time.  They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right.  Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether.  Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism.  John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]

However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time.  But there has been a change.  It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all.  Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound.  Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.

It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels

Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.

 

————-Julia Bottomman, AP

Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.