Lighthouse Trails announces new name! Lighthouse Entrails

September 23, 2019

outhouse

Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.


Now Offering Our All New Apoolajetix Course!

May 1, 2019

emerging-church

Pomotivator from the once mighty Hugh Jass Spurgeon site of Phil Johnson—now gone just like his Hugh Jass though he still is a Hugh Jass every now and then. *

 

Reliving our glory days of the Truth War—Dr. I. Todyaso is proud to introduce our newest old course on apologetics aka Apoolajetix to help aid new and future Truth Warriors/Discernmentalists in their Researchmentalism in the defense of our fragile Pure Doctrines that are always under attack and in need of being defended by us:

Pooling together our ignorance from around the web via Eric Barger’s Bible-Based Satellite System (BS) and Stretch Technology we can find the Answers In Genesis to all the problems we need to Take A Stand on with our Pulpit & Pen. Helping us Slice any truth to fit our narrative in our Battle 4 Truth that we’ve already presupposed to be true and need to be Apprising everyone of.  We must Stand Up For our The Truth and always be Defending (and) Contending for this truth using our Christian Research Network of True Bible Believers —who help spread our Doctrines via Lighthouse Trails and our seminars at Wordview Weekend through the administration of our annual Worldview Tests/Checkups.

We need to be Pyromaniacs for our truth but without Charisma just like any real Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry —we should follow the Way Of The Master that leads to Living Waters like Ray Comfort Hell’s Best Kept Secret instead of doing real research as real research leads to unWretched ideas. One of these ideas is forming a Gospel Coalition around Social Justice and social issues like ending hunger and poverty alleviation —pure blasphemy as the only real social issue that one Desiring God should care about is that we Abolish Human Abortion  just like our Angry Sovereign God desires.

This will help us be Rapture Ready—for Jesus Is Savior of the American Vision of Gary North and Thomas DiLorenzo which is the same as ours and helps us to Act for America by our Stand With Israel and being WallBuilders to protect our beliefs from the same government that we use to spread our Doctrines. Also remember to only get your news from Fox News; Breitbart; World Net Daily or any other Conservative approved (except for Libertarian) news source and remember to listen to Rush Limbaugh; Info Wars and Michael Savage on the radio everyday and like Eric Metaxas and Dinesh D’Souza read our Most Biblical and Godly President’s Tweets everyday as well in order to keep our Doctrines as Pure as the Puritan Hard Drive for we all know that we discernmentalists are really the Alpha & Omega of our own truth.

However you should never under any circumstances go to sites such as Scott McKnight’s; Warren Throckmorton’s;  David Gushee’s or Christ And Pop Culture nor any other site that discernmentalists have Quall(ed)Out and disapproved of as that might lead to the Bible Gateway into biblical scholarship  or worse you  may discover Catholic Answers instead of ones approved by us—besides everyone knows we discermentalists like to avoid the Bible especially Act(s)3 as much as possible whenever a Spurgeon quote will suffice like most of the online followers of Grace To You  believe.

This our subservient students is the secret to defending our fragile hard doctrines of True Biblical Christianity that is our Extreme Theology of Monergism wedded with Ayn Rand’s Objectivism (the only Conservative approved Libertarian/Independent thinker besides those who support Theocracy like the Constitution Party—despite her views on abortion and her not believing in our angry Sovereign Grace-filled God of wrath) which  are always being perverted; always under attack by our many enemies and always in need of defense by us.

————–

Drs. I. Todyaso; Truthslayer and Don Jobson—Doctors of Apoolajetix

*Phil’s Hugh Jass Pomotivators

An unrelated post from our past related to this one: Brian McLaren declares the Kingdom of God is here and now!


Trish Of Way Of The Master Emerges Into The Emerging Apostasy Of Emergent Heresy

June 16, 2010

 

Lately our Research Robot Monkeys have been hard at work discernmentalizing all who stand in our way and in the way of God’s Truth. Our ever-vigilant, ever-valiant Research Robot Monkeys who are always watching out for heresy with their ever-keen mechanical eyes have been exposing a lot of turncoats in our midst on a daily basis. Why just recently they caught Chris Rosebrough aiding and abetting a secret agent of the New World Order and even more recently they’ve caught Trish of Way Of The Master fame supporting the heretical Sinner’s Prayer formula but wait it gets much worse than that Trish also has been caught telling readers of her site to “meditate” on a Bible verse not only that but she added to the Word of God. Our Research Robot Monkeys have caught it all here and have exposed it for all the world to see:

This is just as bad as when our Research Robot Monkeys caught Chris Rosebrough quoting from the Brian McLaren endorsed Roman Catholic apostate G. K. Chesterton. Why is asking someone to meditate on a Bible verse so evil you may ask—why it may lead someone to slip into taking on the Emergent practice of meditation aka “Lectio Divina” or worse than that they may even take on the New Age practice of chanting. Lectio Divina of course is defined as:

Lectio Divina is Latin for divine reading, spiritual reading, or “holy reading,” and represents a traditional Christian practice of prayer and scriptural reading intended to promote communion with God and to increase in the knowledge of God’s Word. It is a way of praying with Scripture that calls one to study, ponder, listen and, finally, pray and even sing and rejoice from God’s Word, within the soul.

Now you can see why such a practice is so evil and blasphemous as our affectionate Uncle the great Pastor-Teacher-Scholar Ken Silva’s clear teachings profess. This is why no True Bible-Believing Christian ever meditates on the Bible. All the True Bible Believing Christian has to do is read a Bible verse once in a non-contextualized way and then they are able to grasp the Absolute Truth of it with such Absolute Clarity and Absolute Certainty that there is little room for misunderstanding. However if there is a small inkling of misunderstanding, all the True Bible Believing Christian has to do is consult the handy reference of John MacArthur’s Bible Commentaries©®™ for instant comprehension of the True meaning of the verse in question. 

Now you can also see why we are also disappointed with Trish for slipping into Emerging heresy. However this is not a total shock as Dr. Seymore Spurgeon caught Ray Comforts (Awesome) of Way Of The Master in the actual act of practicing the New Age ritual of Lectio Divina as for Trish’s adding to the Word of God all we have to say is hath not God said in His  Inerrant and Infallible Word the Bible: “5 Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. 6 Do not add to his words, lest he rebuke you and you be found a liar.” [Proverbs 30:5-6 (ESV)]


PROJECT DUMBO! revealled….

June 7, 2010

Our Research Robot Monkeys have discovered that a consortium of Online Discernment Ministries have devised a new listening device to eaves drop in on the emerging church: PROJECT DUMBO. There are reports that an authentic Dan Kimball sermon has been intercepted, and the following statements have been deduced “Then this is a day of independence for all the Munchkins and their descendants!” “come here my little pretty” and “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” We cannot substantiate these quotes nor do we need to verify them due to the ODM code of misconduct. Fact checking is not our style (plus its unbiblical)….but can only note that the quotes must be true if an ODM quoted them.

NSA has also expressed interest in this device.

Truthslayer


New cop show, all truth no heresy!

June 6, 2010

In a new sunday night line-up Truth War TV introduces Chief Wiggum as a serious cop sniffing out heresy calls via an emergency heresy hunting 9-11 hot line; Discernmentalist 9-11 (Investigative Unit).

Each week our faithful cop and other cartoon like figures will follow-up on spin with regards to Christians who have been accused of being…

A) Democrats (or rumoured to have said something nice about Obama)

B) Peacemakers

C) Distraught by some forms of capitalism

E) Interested in universal heathcare

F) A friend of gays

G) A reader of NT Wright, John H Armstrong, Gregory Boyd, Rob Bell or Brian McLaren

H) Ecumenical (which we know is anything but biblical even if Jesus is central)

I) For social justice

Each week Wiggum will take down the apostates and allow voters to decide who is in…and who is out! Guilt by association, slander….whatever it takes to keep the right people in and the evil heretics out. Remember, Revenge NOT Reconciliation!!!

Truthslayer


Tin-Foil Hat Theology: A Discernmentalist’s Best Friend!

May 29, 2010

 

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.

They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.

Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel,  lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :

– non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.

– International bankers are trying to take over the world.

– The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.

– The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan. 

– Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.

– Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.

 – the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).

The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies  of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!


Brannon Howes teaches how to persecute Christians

May 26, 2010

“Brannon and John will explore the five stages for establishing the persecution of Christians. Stage one. Define the opposition. Stage two: Marginalize the opposition. Stage Three: Vilify the Opposition. Stage Four: Pass laws criminalizing the activities of the opposition. Stage Five: Enforce the new laws against the opposition.”

We here at the ODMafia are soooo impressed with this latest teaching out of Brannon Howse. We see this not only as the view on how we poor, poor innocent Christians who never do anything wrong, will be slowly persecuted, but also that this can be turned around and used against OUR ENEMIES! Yes! This very outline can be used against people like Rick Warren, Brian McLaren or N.T. Wright!

 

Stage one: Name your enemies! Shoot we will do that for you! Just read our blog!

Stage two: Make your enemies lesser than yourself. Make up funny names and demean them as people.  See them as substandard Christians at best or heretics worthy of burning at the stake or at least flaming on your blog!

Stage three: Vilify your enemies! Yes, even if it is not true make things up. GOd gave true dicernmentalists the tools of this world (Lies, slander, bearing false witness… you know those things) to use against our enemies. So, do like Brannon Howse does with Rick Warren and others and make things up! Whatever it takes as the truth is what is at steak here!

Stage four: Pass law criminalizing the activities of the enemies! If they are gay, vote no to marriage and civil unions. You get the picture… make them suffer!

Stage five: Enforce them laws! So back the anti Gay Uganda laws that could put gays as well as those who know a gay person in jail  or even executed! I mean as long as we persecute gay people then we do not have to face the reality that our Christian marriages rival the world percentage wise with the secular world in divorces… and that pastors have a higher divorce rate than even the secular world! Yes, we can put the blame on Gays instead of face our own sin, depravity and weak view of the “sanctity of marriage”.


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