Introducing our all new Discernmentalist Decoder Rings!

November 3, 2019

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ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!

Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:

Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.

Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.

“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”

“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”

You get the picture.

You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…

Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!

 

ODMafia Endorsed

 

 


Reforming Christianity Downgrading?

October 27, 2019

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“The clouds roll with thunder, that the house of the Lord shall be built throughout the earth; and these frogs sit in their marsh and croak ‘We are the only Christians’!”–Saint Augustine on the Donatists

“Christianity downgrading 500 years after Martin Luther posted his 95 theses to that church door.” says our Holy anointed Prophet; grand poobah; Most Illustrious; Most Inerrant; Most Infallible Pope of all Truth over the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH). Now we know our Truth is downgrading as we’ve caught many among us teaching the heresy of Baptismal Regeneration* against our Clear Teachings on it’s Pagan-Catholic Origins. And we wouldn’t want anything Catholic in our churches nor to appear Catholic like calling Mary the Mother of God:

“So that whereas the Scriptures say that ‘God redeemed his church with his own blood,’ or that he was ‘made flesh;’ or whereas, in a consonancy thereunto, and to obviate the folly of Nestorius, who made two persons of Christ, the ancients called the blessed Virgin the Mother of God,–the intendment of the one and other is no more but that he was truly God, who in his manhood was a son, had a mother, did bleed and die. And such Scripture expressions we affirm to be founded in this ‘communication of properties,’ or the assignment of that unto the person of Christ, however expressly spoken of as God or man, which is proper to him in regard of either of these natures, the one or other, God on this account being said to do what is proper to man, and man what is proper alone to God, because he who is both God and man doth both the one and the other. By what expressions and with what diligence the ancients warded the doctrine of Christ’s personal union against both Nestorius and Eutyches, the one of them dividing his person into two, the other confounding his natures by an absurd confusion and mixture of their respective essential properties (Mr B. not giving occasion), I shall not farther mention.”—John Owen**

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I hope this shows where we stand in the downgrading of Truth—thankfully we have our Beloved Pope (PBUH) to show us the way as he (PBUH) has passed his knowledge on to us. In fact Dr. Itodyaso once preached on this very subject:

We know that Discernmeentalists are the purest of all “reformed” groups. It has been evidenced that since 1961 the SBC is becoming more and more Reformed. That should prove the deep history of the effect Paedobaptiphobe Baptists have had on the Reformation since Luther hammered the 95 Theses to the Wittenberg Door and set the enslaved celibate priests free to marry and drink beer (though Luther’s beer was non alcoholic as Jesus’ wine was!!).

Without the great teacher and historian John MacArthur (PBUH) we would all be lost in the history that so many claim is Christian history. We would not see the Truth of the Truth War that Real Christianity started in the 16th century with the Reformation. And that the Holy Spirit stopped speaking in the 16th Century-17th Century when the King James fell from Heaven and the oracles of Reformers dropped their founts of wisdom and  as soon as the Bible was written the Holy Spirit left so that no more miracles might happen. We now only have the Bible and God who is far away in heaven and Jesus who is on the throne in heaven and really has nothing to do with us until he returns and savagely kills all the apostate emerging church people; Catholic mystics and hippie Quakers or those who thought they got saved through women preachers and their sodomite loving ways.

We know the truth will set you free and we freely set it free so we can protect it and use it as a weapon against anyone that does not agree with us and our doctrines. Our weapons of spiritual warfare are not carnal but they are out of our doctrinal beliefs and out of correct beliefs. If  you do not believe as we do then you are just guilty and  worthy of our attack in the Name of our wrathful and angry God who hates sinners. We know that this type of belief is hard, yet we must not let easy believism corrupt the church. We must make it as hard as we can for someone to be saved by us via John MacArthur’s “doctrines” of Grace. So help us to help John (PBUH) spread the downgrade of our Truth for “to come to knowledge of Truth is to be Saved.”

And the Just perish for lack of correct knowledge of our Doctrines,

Don Jobson, Self-Proclaimed Ordained Gatekeeper and Defender of Truth; Pastor-Teacher-Ruling Elder over the Entire Congregation of the True Remnant of all of our Cyber-Brethern in Arms in the Truth War

*– “Great preacher Charles Spurgeon described “soul-winning [as] the chief business . . . of every true believer.” Step into soul-winning boot camp today with John MacArthur on “Grace to You,” as he studies the lifesaving mission God calls you to.”

**– “John Owen was a pastor-theologian of the Puritan era who understood sin. He really understood it. In his little book, The Mortification of Sin, a tremendous gift to the church, he wrote, “It is to be feared that very many Christians have little knowledge of the main enemy that they carry about with them in their hearts.””—John MacArthur


Baptism: Meaningless and Purposeless?

October 12, 2019

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“Moreover, that it is most solemnly and strictly commanded that we must be baptized or we cannot be saved…” —Martin Luther

Contrary to the Founding Father of the Protestant Reformation Martin Luther who understood that baptism is NOT the cause of our salvation but that God chose to save through baptism. Salvation is given in baptism, though not because of faith. God is the cause of our salvation, it is not man’s faith or baptism on its own.

We are glad that our baptisms are as meaningless and purposeless as our lives are suppose to be as truly baptism doesn’t save. We are thankful that God has gifted us in this last generation of the End Times with the Greatest Living Teacher of the True Word of God—our very own Protestant Pope of The Truth War—John MacArthur (PBUH) who has come around to correct through Sola Scriptura the Protestant Reformation’s fore-father Martin Luther—the very founder of Sola Scriptura himself 500 years after the fact. Quote:

Faith and repentance are not easy. Submission contradicts the natural disposition of the human heart. And the transforming and sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit is often uncomfortable and difficult.

Salvation would be so much more inviting and enticing to our human understanding if it didn’t require humility, repentance, and the transformation of your entire being. Why can’t it simply be the product of a one-time activity?

For those looking to bypass the difficulty and discomfort of salvation, 1 Peter 3:21 seemingly provides a shortcut in the form of this simple declaration: “Baptism now saves you.” This and a select few other verses are often used to promote “baptismal regeneration”–the view that teaches that one is saved (regenerated) though water baptism. …This interpretation is not true to the facts of Scripture. Throughout the book of Acts, forgiveness is linked to repentance, not baptism.


Attention Truth Warriors

December 24, 2010

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: ” Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church

 


Your typical Emergent Village church service!

March 6, 2010

This is what happens at a typical Emergent Church service!  If you know what things happen at those couch and candle driven churches you would be shocked! You would never see anyone having fun in one of our churches! We make sure nothing like that would ever happen!


Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus!

February 25, 2010

Discernmentalists here is one of the exciting new Free Online Discernmentalist Courses that we  are now offering. Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus—Pastor I. Todyaso recommends this course for all new Discernmentalists! We Know that all True Church History begins and ends with John Calvin. Sure we may use John Wesley and Martin Luther every now and then in our attacks on defense of Truth (except when they don’t even agree with us) but we are not even certain that these two men really exist. And we are Absolutely Certain that Karl Barth doesn’t exist.

We also Know that there were no True Christians before John Calvin and the only True Christians after John Calvin must follow him and Ronald Reagan (as Capitalism is unBiblical) exclusively. We Know Sola Scriptura, Sola Christus, Sola Gratia, Sola Fide really mean only our interpretation of Calvin‘s interpretation of Scripture is correct, you can only get to heaven by the Synods of Dort, the only True Grace is for Discernmentalists and you should have faith only in our interpretation of Calvin’s interpretation of  Scripture.

P. S. And remember Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always and Soli Calvinus et Noster Veritas Belli gloria—for the glory of Calvin and our Truth Wars alone. 

P. P. S. Dr. Arthur  McJohn reminds you to burn an Anabaptist in Calvin’s honor as a prerequisite for taking our course so that we’ll know that you are Truly Hardcore Deformed Reformed enough like these guys are to pass our tests of True Orthodoxy.

Drs. Don Jobson, Truthslayer, I. Todyaso and Arthur McJohn—your Professors of Discernmentalist Divisional and Revisional Church History.


Live Regeneration

February 19, 2010

A group of chosen and frozen unregenerated reprobated vessels of wrath preordained, hardened and appointed unto damnation from the foundation of the world. Can’t you see their deadness in sin and inabillity to respond to the Pure Gospel of God’s Wrath freely? Photo courtesy of First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect (FCC).

For the first time in the history of First Calvinist Church of the Non-Elect (FCC) congregants witnessed an actual live regeneration. Here is the live video footage caught  by the church’s security camera of the event congregants witnessed—thanks to our Research Robot Monkeys  for finding this:

Discernmentalists are confused as to how such an oversight could have been made—afterall these people are suppose to be hellbound non-Elect sinnersJohn MacArthur stated that he believes “this happened through the preaching of God’s Pure Sovereign Wrath as God’s Wrath upon the non-Elect is our Grace. The more Wrath God pours down upon our enemies, God’s enemies and all enemies of the True Gospel the more Grace He bestows upon us in the glorious sound doctrine of Limited Penal Substitutionary Atonement.”  Todd Friel said that “my quoting of Spurgeon must have awakened this reprobate to his predestined wrathful end.” Ray Comforts (Awesome) and Kirk Cameron (Awesome Actor) said “our Pure and effective preaching of God’s whole Moral Law must have made this sinner aware that he had been falsely converted by the False Gospel of Grace, Love and Kumbahyah “touchy-feelings-ness” rather than the True Gospel of God’s Pure Sovereign Wrath.”

We asked Sharin’ Whiplash for comment and all she could ramble off in a mumble was:

I was told the other day I needed to be more gentle when I was speaking with a homosexual who was boycotting a network that refused to play some openly homosexual ad, or some such garbage, during the superbowl. This is a guy I knew from high school, and after … I confronted him, I took him off my friends list. I’m called to let people know straight up they are going to hell if they don’t repent. Today’s “Christians” are all about telling everyone “God loves You” and “Christ died for you, and everyone else in the world so please, oh please, won’t you make a decision for Christ so you don’t go to hell!” That just sickens me. I’ve prayed often that the Lord will raise us more Calvinists and send us a second Reformation in Christendom and revival in the US. We need some uncompromising men like John Knox to thunder forth the truth of God, without regard to political correctness or anything else except honoring Calvin. I was speaking with someone about the Sovereignty of God and how EVERYTHING is in His control – down to the movement of a piece of dust. He “corrected” me “on one little point”, said that it was his CHOICE to be saved in 1985…need I go on?Whoever he is, he is not a Christian. He is not saved, no matter what he thinks. He is, in fact, a Satanist. Run, don’t walk, away from reprobates! Pray for their conversion if you feel so moved, but if I were you, I would have nothing whatsoever to do with them, as they show their true colors. “On that day MANY will say unto ME, “Lord, … Lord… And then I will say unto them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of iniquity'”  I tried to get him to share Scriptures with me that backed up his free will…of course, I never got them. I offered to share with him Scriptures that completely laid out God’s Sovereignty, but told him they would be either for his salvation or his condemnation…he said he there were no arguements I could come up with that were any different than those he has fought for 30 years. I told him I wasn’t trying to convince him, I was trying to share Scripture…you know how it ended…It’s an evil thing to be an Arminian who loves the Lord but be ignorant about the mechanics of salvation. Arminians really believe SATAN is in control of everything and God in control of nothing when they believe in Free Will! That’s not Christian at all. As I said, that’s Satanism. In his warped religion, Satan is sovereign. I repeat, I would have nothing further to do with him, if I were you. Shake his dust off your feet and go your way. He will stand before Christ and give an account. I got a friend request from a woman who said she was “desperate for sound doctrine”. I accepted her request. She then started saying that “free will plays a part in salvation”. I refuted that with an explanation. She unfriended me. Obviously she wasn’t interested in sound doctrine, she just wanted her itching ears tickled. She just wanted … See Moresomeone to agree with her. Boy, she picked the wrong one when she picked me. These free-willers make their wills inviolable and sovereign. Even God has to bow to the creature’s will. How blind and proud is the human heart! Not sure why she was so desperate to find friends with “sound doctrine”, which in her view is Arminianism. They’re everywhere. That shouldn’t be hard to find. I told her our wills are bound by sin and only God has free will. Free will is a will that’s unaffected by any outside forces or influences… by anything outside of itself. That’s true only of God. I told her we are spiritually dead. She couldn’t take it. She wanted sound doctrine? No.


Martin Luther Secretly Muslim

January 26, 2010

We have Absolute Proof! Our Research Robot Monkeys have come upon this startling revelation of Luther’s Closeted Islamic beliefs:

 From this book, accordingly, we see that the religion of the Turks or Muhammad is far more splendid in ceremonies—and, I might almost say, in customs—than ours, even including that of the religious or all the clerics. The modesty and simplic-ity of their food, clothing, dwellings, and everything else, as well as the fasts, pray-ers, and common gatherings of the people that this book reveals are nowhere seen among us—or rather it is impossible for our people to be persuaded to them. Fur-thermore, which of our monks, …Martin Luther 

Therefore the Lutheran Reformation was secretly created by Muslims—no wonder some believe Luther was not as Reformed and Protestant as Calvin. * (Although some of our Research Robot Monkey Spies came upon this quote by Calvin:

No man is excluded from calling upon God, the gate of salvation is set open unto all men: neither is there any other thing which keepeth us back from entering in, save only our own unbelief. —John Calvin

So perhaps Calvin isn’t as Reformed and Protestant as Spurgeon or John MacArthur).

Hopefully Ken Silva will call Chris Rosebrough and Ingrid Shuelter  to repent of their Lutheran-Islamism and also for Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to remove his picture of the Muslim Lutheran leader Martin Luther from the header of his blog.

Don Jobson—fibbing proclaiming the Truth.


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