October 24, 2019
Paula White; woman pastor; one of Trump’s Evangelical advisors
“I’m voting for an ideology that is closer to Scripture,” MacArthur (PBUH) said. “Because [the Republican platform] is political responsibility, work, it has a place for the Bible, it has a place for God, it understands the necessity of a family, it understands the role of government is primarily to carry a sword to threaten evildoers and protect those who do well.”
What does this ideology that is closer to Scripture include? Women Pastors of course: “Take it from the woman dubbed President Trump’s “personal pastor.” The Donald Trump that Florida evangelical minister Paula White sees is a good listener, a man who takes his faith seriously while not always being fluent in “Christianese” and, unlike so many of his predecessors, a politician who has kept his promises to faith voters and evangelical Christian groups after he won the presidency with the help of their votes.” (Source)
“Paula White-Cain is also a female pastor, and by promoting her book, (Robert) Jeffress and Jack Graham (two-term president of the SBC) are backing a woman who, according to their denomination, is not submitting to “those roles assigned to her by God” (at a time when others in their tradition are prominently clashing over this very issue). In addition, White-Cain is divorced, and in SBC circles, “divorce culture” represents one of the most significant threats facing American society.” (Source)
We are shocked—shocked—how could our Beloved Pope (PBUH) have erred so gravely? What’s next will the Prosperity Gospel be deemed okay? Can we deny the Trinity and still be considered an orthodox Christian? Stay tuned to the ODMafia and let us do all the Discernmentalism for you!
October 11, 2019
Introducing the newest show on Discernmentalist networks: Discenmentalist Apprentice starring our Most Biblical and Godly President ever Donald J. Trump as he preaches the Gospel of the Total Depravity of everyone but himself and discernmentalists. All while searching for America’s Next Top Discernmentalists. Who better for the role than the only man to pass the Way of the Master’s Are You A Good Person? test with flying colors
(other than Jesus): “I like to be good. I don’t like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don’t do a lot of things that are bad. I try to do nothing that is bad.”— our Messiah President Donald J. Trump.
Tyrone Hoofendorfer would be proud as—just like President Donald J. Trump—Hoofendorfer’s Law of Discernmentalism states:
Paul Haggis says his reason for leaving the church is their support of Prop. 8. That would be one of the very few reasons I support this church. Homosexuals and homosexuality need to go back in the closet. They should NOT be proud of themselves. Homosexuality is a reprehensible sin. A lot of you will complain and call me names. I don’t care. I KNOW that YOU are the sinners, NOT ME!!!”
In fact we know that President Donald J. Trump is among us sinless Elect!
August 17, 2019
Become a part of the Deformed and Discernmentalist Southern Baptist unTwitterati Cabal today by mocking those who have fallen gravely ill. We are now accepting applicants. If you feel the current evangelical leadership (JD Greear, Russell Moore, Al Molher, Beth Moore, Tim Keller, etc.) are becoming evil libruls because they’re starting to acknowledge the existence of racial disparities in the criminal justice system—you’ll fit right in with us.
Just like Pastor Gabe we Discernmentalists believe sickness is a symptom of lifelong sin. We also believe we should be discernmentalizing 24/7—finding a new heretic of the week:
As a former news-junkie, I’ve often lamented the advent of 24/7 news. It has done more harm to journalism than any school of journalism (with all of their agendas) could have ever accomplished. Today, 24/7 news has created a feeding frenzy around every speculation, hearsay, possible motive, or misspoken word. The men and women formerly called journalists have an audience waiting to hear something new, and the industry demands that our network get it out before your network. So, rather than well-researched facts, so-called journalists are spitting out every kind of agenda-based opinion, to the point that fake news has become “a thing.” Have you notice how many “breaking news alerts” you hear on the 24/7 news channels? Events that have been scheduled for weeks are “breaking news.” Why the hyperbole? It is because of the feeding frenzy.
Discernment ministry has grown to this level as well. Those who have built their ministry around this work now have a constituency that they must feed. There is an expectation that the so-called discerners bring forth a new heretic of the week. After all, we already know about the other heretics, we’ve left their teaching, we are bored with them, and we’ve already posted the warnings on social media. But this is a new day, and discernment ministries have an empty blog and a silent podcast to fill.
The world is full of liberal sickos and they’re all out to get us. We’d like to thank Pastor Gabe for helping us spread the Discernmentalist Gospel.