Pirate Radio Invents A New Biblical Theology Detector

May 5, 2010

Worried that your church or your home may be infiltrated by Emergents  or any of the other heretical type reprobated people like Catholics, New Age Apostates and Arminians? Never fear Pirate Radio has teamed up with we of God’s Only Inerrant Party and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia to bring you the new Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector. Now you can verify if someone has Biblical Theology or not before they even come into your vicinity. Just place our Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector near a doorway, gate or anyother type of entryway and let the Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector work it’s magic for you.

The Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector will automatically detect if someone has Biblically verifiable theology or wishy-washy ignore-it-or-make-it-up-or-change-it-to-suit-us so-called theology. If someone has Biblically verifiable theology the green Pass sign will light up while playing a Bible-Based tune like the hit song and theme song of GOIP-Lander: God Hates The World or it’s love theme: Broken Wings. However if someone has wishy-washy ignore-it-or-make-it-up-or-change-it-to-suit-us so-called theology the red Alarm sign will frantically flash while sending volts of electricity into the perpetrator and also filling their ears with loud and foul sounds.

You’ll never have to worry about the ungodly and unbiblical ever infiltrating your Holy grounds again with the Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector protecting the Purity of your Doctrines and the Sanctity of  your vicinity. Now you can remain unsensitive to Seekers with ease with the Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector doing all the work for you. The Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector not only works on people but also on pets and objects as well. It also functions as an Absolute Truth detector and also verifies Biblically-correct theology in books. The Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector also comes in a version for automobiles and other vehicles—never let the ungodly ride with you. Customer  satisfaction guarenteed!

One of our satisfied customers after using our Multi-Zone Biblical Theology Detector:

pirate77 said…Intolerant fool? If you are not tolerant of Todd Friel, what does that make you? I’ll take his Biblically verifiable theology over the wishy-washy ignore-it-or-make-it-up-or-change-it-to-suit-us so-called theology that has been initiated by people like Joel Osteen, Brian McLaren (whom you seem to love) and Doug Pagitt, just to name a few. —May 4, 2010 11:23 AM
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We support the New Conservative Bible

April 4, 2010

We are proud to sponsor the New Conservative Bible. In fact, here is an animation we truly feel is inspired by our DOCTRINES and God! This is how OUR Jesus would have acted like and taught.


MacArthur demonstrates how big God’s grace is….according to Grace to You!

December 22, 2009

John MacArthur and Grace to You Ministries using absolute biblical certainty demonstrates how wide and how far God’s grace and mercy extends for Emergents, Liberals, Moderates, Post-Moderns and the Ungodly.

We at the ODMafia concur. There are far too many apostates to extend kindness towards…. who knows where that could lead (probably communism, or Red Letter Christianity)!!!

Dr. Truthslayer


Mike Morrell’s Romanist Leanings

November 23, 2009

If ye haven’t read my first post exposing Mike do so or else. The second thing that concerns us about Mike Morrell’s post is Mike’s Romanist leanings. Ken Silva is quoted as saying:

What utter and complete blasphemy. May the Lord reveal Himself to you and open your eyes to the idol you have created and now worship. May He remove the veil of ignorance that you blissfully revel in but that holds your soul in condemnation.

Editors’ Note: We of God’s Truly Chosen Elect don’t have idols you know.

Indeed we of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and the GOIP are saying an Imprecatory Prayer against Mike’s evilness. What is so evil about Mike you may ask besides saying that God changes—why he supports Contemplative Spirituality which is nothing more than Romanism repackaged—the deformation of  Protestant Christianity if you will. Anyways, here is an incriminating quote from Mike Morrell’s post:

Part of the ‘inner reflex’ is Centering Prayer is letting go. For 20 minutes twice a day, it’s a continuous letting go of thoughts and emotions that well up inside – kind of like a fisherman catching fish but not to eat – just for fun. He’s sitting in a boat (the mind) and his pole rests in the water (the field of consciousness). Little fish (thoughts, ideas, emotions) come up and nibble on the line (ordinary awareness) – the fisherman doesn’t shoot the fish with a revolver or cut the line. Instead, he pulls the little fish up, but doesn’t keep them in the boat – it’s catch & release.

Catch and release, catch and release, gently, graciously – because you recognize that even the lake is situated in a much larger ecosystem (God). You can let go because the earth is abundant; you will be fed. Centering Prayer is a journey of trust in God, even on the unconscious level, where all kind of mis-trustful thoughts bubble up to the surface. The life centered in surrender to & trust in God is a life of profound peace and productivity – and our Scriptures attest, in a myriad of ways, that such trust (faith) ‘pleases God.’ But when we’re faced with the disturbing truths that Brueggemann elucidates – God’s irascibility for instance – what do we do?

There are two ways to do handle this. One is the way of definitive, forceful – almost violent – denial that there is (or has ever been) anything troubling in God’s character or actions. It’s the route of trusting God via suppression.

But there is another route – more painful, more adult, more complex – but I think it can still end in deeply-rooted, childlike trust. It’s a path that I’ve learned from many guides over the years, including Bruggie Baby (sorry for the familiarity, but it’s really hard typing his name over and over again), Meister Eckhart, the Jewish scholar Richard Elliot Friedman in The Hidden Face of God, Jack Miles in his Christ: A Crisis in the Life of God, ‘deeper life’ missionary and teacher Norman Grubb, and the process theologians that Tripp Fuller is getting me to read (like his professor Philip Clayton of Transforming Theology) or listen to & he and Chad Crawford’s uber-awesome podcast Homebrewed Christianity – all refined in the daily, simple crucible (quite actually) of centering prayer as taught by Contemplative Outreach and particularly Cynthia Bourgeault. (Did you read that paragraph, Ken Silva? It was practically tailor-written for you, LOL. If you don’t write about me, Discernmentalist Mafia will!)

My fellow colleague in discernmentalizations Dr. Truthslayer has this to add about Mike’s Emergent Romanism:     

ODMafia went on the prowl….we sent our research robot monkeys behind the scenes to find the authentic Emergent Church (EC). …What did we find?….Among other  things that have been discovered (as suggested in previous posts)….we spotted couches, candles and sometimes left-over coffee cups (often left in the recycled bin which suggests that they are Earth worshipers). Surely this has new age undertones.

Anyways, we all know with Absolute Certainty that candles in church=Romanism. And that’s Mike Morrell, a Romanist—we have Absolute Proof:

Mike Morrell caught sinning by drinking alcohol and with the Pope at that.

Mike Morrell exposed as a Romanist/Papist pope and idol worshipping heretic.


Red Letter (non)-Christian And Emergent Holiday

November 7, 2009

AAGK001145

Tony Campolo and some evil Emergents burn our flag and cross while raising the Red banner of Obama in celebration of November 7th.

Today and Sunday all Red Letter non-Christians and Emergents will celebrate an evil anti-Christian holiday—non holy day is more like it. Today being:

 November 7: October Revolution Day in Belarus and other various regions of the former Soviet Union because on 1917Vladimir Lenin led a Bolshevik insurrection against the Provisional Government of Alexander Kerensky, starting the Bolshevik Revolution, the second phase of the overall Russian Revolution.

And we know that those evil Red Letter Christians and Emergents wish the same thing for our God Ordained and Chosen Nation since all of them are Obama supporters—just listen to the evil anthem they plan on singing this  Sunday:

Blasphemy sheer blasphemy—we tell you! Here are trustworthy and official GOIP Internet Encyclopedia has discernmentalized and exposed us to Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda for this evil and dreadful day: 

RedLetteredHoliday

More Emergent and Red Letter Christian propaganda:

Obama-Commie-Blogger

RedLetterChristianFlag

obamunism

Don Jobson—beware of the Red letters.


SHEALDI Deemed A Major Success

November 6, 2009

ConventionOfDiscernmentalistsSHEALDIRally

Brannon Howse backs our SHEALDI and says that ‘it is a major advance in Discernmentalist technology in our Absolute Truth War.’ 

Absolute Truth Facts about SHEALDI:

  • SHEALDI also stands for “defense Sheild for Discernmentalists and their Absolute Truth ministries in the Absolute Truth War.”
  • SHEALDI also stands for “Salvation Heals only Discernmentalists as only Discernmentalists are True Christians and of God’s True Elect.”
  • SHEALDI also stands for “the Sheild Dyes emitted from Uncle Ken Silva’s Missives being fired off for our protection.”

Don Jobson—SHEALDIfied Discernmentalist.

 


Jan Markell Exposed As A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

November 4, 2009

janwolfsheep

In a recent podcast by Jan Markell exposed to us by our GOIP Bot 3000—we’ve discernmentalized that Jan violates our the Biblically correct worldview and our Sound Biblical thinking:

Item #5

Jan Markell
God’s Final Warning to America John McTernan has been warning America for thirty years that judgment is coming to our nation. He believes the struggles in America today, including corrupt leadership, is, in fact, a judgment. Since America is basically a good and decent nation, what have we done that could so anger God?

Can you spot her error? That’s right she called ‘America a basically  good and decent nation.’ What blasphemy! Doesn’t Jan know that  only  God is good–especially when He pours down His wrath on all of our enemies. Absolute Proof that only God can be called good—why because the bible and Ray Comfort say so:

I just wanted to

Mark 10:18 (King James Version)

 18And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

In fact,  Ray Comfort would be appalled at Jan’s filthy and blasphemous mouth. We Online Discernmentalists must call Jan back to our version of Biblical Integrity and the Absolute Truth. Repent Jan repent lest ye be found among the unregenerate and non-Elect.


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