The newest drink of heretics!

July 20, 2009

Emerge drinksI suspected something was in the water that was causing all this new heresy! Now I know what is going on. They are all drinking Emerge! If they were real Christians they would be drinking Kool Aid!


God inspires ODM with new answer to Emergents. “Bwahahhahaa!”

June 23, 2009

bwahahaha

 

Bwahahhahaa! Is the new answer we are now giving to Emergents as it seems some ODM’s cannot actually give a real answer. Though at first this seems to make a mockery of ODM’s as the bible is clear that we are to not just laugh, but mock and make up more revisionist’s reality (As ODM’s never lie! We only revise reality to our own version and fitting!) against the evil and vile Emerging Church peoples! (Because they love to promote actually doing something with their faith! Sinners!)

You must realize dear reader, not everyone can become a ODM. There is much training and studying that must come before one can be allowed to judge and condemn others. It is not like some Yahoo wannabe can just set up a website or blog and become an ODM overnight! Did you know that you must have a certificate? (Please view our gift shop and buy your own certificate and become an official ODM!)

We here do applaud that Discerning the World at least is great with their revisionist’s reality, and suggest when dealing with emerging people and you cannot come up with a great answer use  “Bwahahhahaa!” instead as they do. That way you can feel superior and not fall into actually caring or loving the person you are talking to. It also works when you really cannot give an answer but still need to sound like you know what you are talking about even when you may not.


New Bible Product to help in your studies!

June 11, 2009

 

duster

The newest line of Bible products that has help me save face at MY church is the Bible Duster. The other day I noticed my Bible had gathered a little dust. Now like most of our readers, I KNOW the Bible so studying it seems a little overboard. Yet, the other day as I was reading it and trying to not let it get too deep into me. (God forbid we meditate and contemplate the Bible! That could lead to becoming a heretic like those emerging folk!) This product will help you keep up the appearance that you never forget to read your Bible. (Again please only filter your reading through THIS site and other APPROVED sites we recommend!) Simply take the Bible Duster© and run it over your dusty Bible and viola! No more embarrassing dust! This is handy for those who need that little extra help in their Bible studies.

dusty bible

Now I personally have many Bibles such as the one I read (pictured above).

I have my show Bible that looks well worn for church. It is only opened at church. It opens only to specific passages the Truth War Church will approve.

Worn%20Bible

I also have my travel Bible or the one I take on my air travels across the world teaching my great wisdom and knowledge of OUR Doctrines. My Huge Bible makes sure all know I am a REAL Christian and not some phony one! It is also handy in helping me make sure I have an empty seat next to me on the plane!

ITodyaso and his big bible

 

We here at the ODMafia know how important keeping up appearances is! So please buy the Bible Duster© and make sure that those real Discernmentalist Church members will not take special notice of you!


Is Ingrid secretly supporting the Gay Agenda?!?

May 5, 2009

 

gay

It seems that my GBA (guilt by association) radar was tingling so I cruised over to Slice to see what was up. To my complete and utter horror Ingrid was quoting Mike Rowe in attacking the anti- modesty movement of the Church. Michael Rowe is a contributor to the Gay and Lesbian magazine, The Advocate.

(Michael Rowe is not to be confused with Mike Rowe of “Dirty Jobs”)

Now Ingrid, it is fine to confront those sinners with the Bible as that is it’s purpose, to condemn sinners. Jesus came to save but gave us the job of pointing out those who are not as worthy of Grace as we are so again, I am fine with you doing that. But to quote a Gay advocate to support your view seems to be stepping into “emerging” territory which we know is heretical in all its forms is just unacceptable!

Repent Ingrid and delete that post now as it is an embarrassment that you would quote a gay man as if you supported his lifestyle!


Mike Rowe stepping down from “Dirty Jobs”

April 3, 2009

Exposing the struggles Blog April 1 09

 

The ODMafia Update Special Report: Mike Rowe announced that he was stepping down from the hit Discovery Channel series “Dirty Jobs”. He announced he was planning to plant a new Church as he was already used to being “crapped”* on.

 

Two contenders have risen up for the position as the new host of Dirty Jobs. Rick Warren and John MacArthur both are in heavy negotiations with the Discovery Channel. Rick Warren stated he was used to dirty jobs as he has been a pastor for many years. Meanwhile John MacArthur stated he should get the job as it was predestined and he has had his hands dirty for many years writing books against others and is the leader in the Truth War.

 

Of course we here at ODMafia are sure to vote for John MacArthur!

 

*We apologize for such foul language, but it is a direct quote and we desire never to misguide the reader by our editing unless it helps promote OUR cause.


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