July 19, 2010
Are you as horrified as us over the Obamanation of ObamaCare? Are you tired of pseudo-scientific advances in Medicine? Have we got the answer for you—science-free medicine activated only by biblical faith because secular medicine is an assault:
- an assault on the Bible
- an assault on the Absolute Truth
- an assault on our Faith
- an assault on traditional American values
- an assault on Freedom
- an assault on our right to be stupid practice Bible-Based Science
- and yes even an assault on our angry Sovereign God’s wrath and Law against sinners
Other reasons to get on board Science-Free Medicine today: Secular pseudo-scientists say that the microbes that attack our bodies are ever-evolving lifeforms which is why these evolutionary pseudo-scientists have to keep inventing new antibiotics. Isn’t that just evil? Can you say “placebo”? We Know this is just ignorance on the part of evilutionists—trying to educate people make up lies to disseminate prop up scientific truth their delusional fairy-tales. Besides would you want pseudo-scientists sticking strange needles and/or pills in you? Who knows they could be giving you the Mark of the Beast especially if they’re Roman Catholic doctors. We Know that microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases are all caused by sin and they don’t evolve at all as evolution never happens just as the Bible says. Just as God literally created the universe and everything within it unchangeable and as absolute static forms in 6 literal 24-hour days—God allows microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases to remain unchanged in order to punish vile, wretched and wicked sinners whose destruction we should all rejoice in.
Another reason to back our Science-Free Medicine is that secular medical science denies Absolute Biblical Truths already succinctly illustrated above. After infiltrating a pseudo-scientific lab full of evolutionary Emergent doctors, Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted the following:
Secular Medical Science and secular health care are so bankrupt that many are abandoning them to embrace New Age Mystical healing gooble-de-gook. Secular and New Age medicine is the new savior. Problems that were once blamed on individual sin and familial genetic sin (Original Sin) are now charged to chemical imbalances and disorders. Yesterday’s medical science and today’s medical science share the same fatal errors–they reject the total depravity of man due to sin; they treat the symptoms instead of the heart; and they aim for change that is not true sanctification. In spite of obvious failure, the notion prevails within the church that secular medicine and secular health care are more effective agents of change–particularly in dealing with the most difficult cases of illnesses–than the Holy Spirit who sanctifies. But can secular medicine and secular health care possibly accomplish something the Holy Spirit cannot? Can an earthly doctor achieve more than a heavenly Comforter? Is medicine more helpful than sanctification? Of course not.
Last but not least, the symbol of Secular Medicine is not only Pagan in orgin but also Occultic and Gnostic in origin and as We all Know Gnosticism is a heresy. If that isn’t enough to reject the evil and sinister cabals of Secular Medical Pseudo-Science whole scale then you must be a servant of Satan—so remember Science-Free Medicine for all your Bible-Based Faith-Healing needs where our motto is: “we’ll lock you in a closet and scream and yell Bible verses at you until you repent of your sins and get saved/cured/healed from your illnesses or else.” Warning if our Bible-Based Healing methods don’t work for you then it means you lack TRUE Biblical Faith and most likely weren’t meant to be healed to begin with.
October 13, 2009
Have you ever gone to church and seen this guy?
Or this guy?
Yes that is most likely an evil Emergent! They are entering “good” churches everywhere! Why should you have to feel like you are walking down a dark alley unprotected from muggers, theives and heretics that only want to steal your money freedom and pure doctrines? Now you can protect yourself with the Anti Emergent Mace Gun.
* The Anti Emergent Mace Gun also works on criminals, Arminians, small children that are bothering you during worship, pets, Muslim’s disorderly Elders, Liberals, Rick Warrenites, Caholics, wayward worship leaders, gays, lesbians, bi sexuals, transgender and metrosexuals as well as a seasoning for beef, pork and chicken. Keep out of reach of children and pets unless you intentionally desire to harm them. May discharge accidently. Do not aim at your own face unless you feel that you are becoming any of the before mentioned. Company is not responsible for your actions and stupidity.
September 11, 2009
Got that sinking feeling?
Is every man (and woman) going overboard and vacating your prized discernmentalist ministry? Do you find that others are not in line with your….
…high-minded biblical thinking?
…your most excellent orthodoxy?
….your biblical tantrums when others do not agree?
You see at ODMafia people get in line (because most of our employees are robots). We demand full obedience and so should your slaves staff. If you have TRULY spirit filled, bible obedient people they WILL sucumb to your teachings and leadership abilities…we can ensure that IF you come along side ODMafia and allow us to show you how its done.
As the Green Beret of discernment, truth and orthodoxy we have insight that you probably don’t have BUT need. So get in line and let us show you how its done….
September 3, 2009
There are no mysteries left! We know all and are certain of this. We are certain we understand and know all about the Trinity, Incarnation, virgin birth and other so called mysteries. Those emerging heretics live with their so-call awe of mystery yet live in total uncertainty… Yet we know all as we have OUR DOCTRINES! We agree with “. . . and the world hears them” as he states: Within Scripture we find glorious certainty of our faith! Yes! Then we just proof text all the scripture to support our position. God is no longer a mystery and we can claim full understanding of God with certainty. If you ever have a single doubt about your faith or even if God exists… then simply you are not saved! If you ever have a time you just wonder if any of this is real… you are not really saved. We are certain of that. If you are uncertain as to what God has planned for you just ask us…or remained unsaved!
We also agree that we can sum this all up by stating that if you disagree with us you are against the Holy Spirit:
The Holy Spirit teaches us. There is no need for any other ‘teacher’. “[Y]ou have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie” (1John 2:27)
So if you read this and do not understand what I am saying then I doubt you are saved… or rather I am certain you are not saved as I would not be saved if I ever doubt. I am certain that those of you who believe in spite of you doubts are even saved… again I am certain of that! Especially if you disagree with OUR DOCTRINES! We know that the opposite of certainty is doubt right? I mean there is no room in faith to learn how to trust and be certain of that I am certain! When one begins their walk of faith, they must know all that will be ahead of them. One must not be uncertain that they do not know what God has in store for them. One cannot be certain in God and uncertain in themselves… that is foolish and we then lose control of God! No. We must be certain in both out self and in God. The foolishness of the Emergent to think that one can be certain in God and not in themselves, I mean… that would mean we would have to be totally dependant on God for everything and that is what OUR DOCTRINES are for! So the next time you hear an Emergent tell you they are “uncertain” of the Trinity, yet embrace it’s mystery… or that they are uncertain of the virgin birth but embrace it’s mystery realize they doubt themselves and are trusting God to be Who he states He is even without themselves understanding this mystery… wait… there is no mystery… as I stated so certainly.
So in summary, one cannot be certain and embrace God’s mystery. If someone claims to be uncertain or expresses doubts but still states they have faith in God anyway, they are a heretic. I someone express that their doubts lead them to learn how to trust, again they are not saved. To admit one has doubts or fears takes humility and makes one vulnerable and we here at the ODMafia will have nothing with those weak willed things. I am certain of all this. Are you? Can you imagine if Spurgeon ever spoke of having doubts in the darkness of night?
August 13, 2009
Picture shows I. Todyaso and new recruits to the Truth War
The ODMafia today announced they have bought Army Surplus. There has been a huge increase in tithes and offerings being given to the ODMafia over the last year so they decided to spend it on surplus war products in preparation for the acceleration of the Truth War across America, Europe, Australia and South Africa. The ODMafia hope to invade Poland, France and bombard England with Truth War propaganda to bring down the emerging church enemies. “Recent enemies of God activity in Europe has made it necessary to step things up a bit.” stated I. Todyaso of ODMafia. “We are happy to send other people’s sons and daughters to the front lines to keep back the flood of N.T. Wrightians and other apostate groups. We are looking for a person to do a Discernment Ministry plant in Australia in the next month or so. I hear they have indigenous people who still practice occult religions there.” I. Todyaso was quoted as saying. “We must stop them from coming into our churches and possibly messing things up!” He went on to say, “Truthsayer is looking toward surplus NASA products to prepare for our first Truth War stations on the moon and Mars.”