Pastorboy aka (He who shall not be named) confirms Outlaw Preachers are having “church”!

September 26, 2011

Pastorboy aka (He who shall not be named) confirms Outlaw Preachers are having “church”! Yes, the beloved ODMafia discernmentalist graduate Pastorboy stated on his Twitter account this:

Now, the bible is clear that woman are to keep quiet in church and not teach, preach, or speak until they get home, take off their shoes, fix their husbands a meal, and then (and ONLY then) can ask questions about the preaching they did not understand. We know woman are truly dullards only good for cooking in the kitchen and sexing in the bedroom so it is easy to understand why a woman would get confused about a sermon. Now, what Pastorboy confirmed was that the Outlaw Preachers were having… church and not a conference! We know of not one example of a woman doing anything good in the bible as far as teaching and the denomination Pastorboy is in would never ordain a woman let alone let her be an evangelist or influence the Christian Missionary Alliance in ANY way!

Now, the only issue is that if the Outlaw Preachers are having church, it is possible that Pastorboy may also be committing heresy by stating that the Outlaw Preachers may be brothers and sisters in Christ.

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Collect the new ODMafia Troll dolls!

March 14, 2011

We have finally found a way to honor all the trolls ODMs out in the WWW. Troll dolls are cute and fun to collect. Be sure to get them quick before they are gone!

Here is our special for today… the Ken Silva troll doll!

Collect them all! Pastorboy aka (name withheld by request!), and Chris Rosebrough and many others!


Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) invites gays to church!

November 2, 2010

Discernmentalist News: Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) who insists his identity must be kept out of the Internet, had a momentary lapse of Discernmentalism. After a great time of abusing others at a local college where he told women they’re dressed like prostitutes, and he tells students that gay people will burn in hell, accidently went on to invite the gay people at the event to his church. This was fortunately realized as an oversight and resorted to name calling of those gay people who did take his offer. Source

 

Again, we here ephasize that Pastorboy aka (name withheld upon request), who once threatened to sue us must not be known on the Internet by his real name or the location of the church he pastors. We at the ODMafia are doing our best to keep anything like that information out of our blog. We also would hate to have him sue us for exposing Pastorboy’s true identity. And please… do not feed the monkeys.


1 Hour Calvinizing guaranteed clean!

May 20, 2010

The ODMafia is now offering 1 hour Calvinizing to make sure you are clean before Jesus. Yes, make you Election sure with 1 hour Calvinizing!


Bow down to the King of kings… OR ELSE!

May 17, 2010

One of the greatest theologians of our day Lemmy, has written the greatest ODM worship song ever. Enjoy!


What Biblically Verifiable Theology Looks Like

May 10, 2010

As True Christians and Discernmentalists, We must stand by our Absolute Biblical Truths like tearing others down when they stand in our way. Making fun of others when they are down in the dumps and kicking them even further is Absolutely Biblical. Using Absolute Biblical Certainty, We must stand up for these Hard Truths. Our Discernmentalist logic dictates that our theology must be Extreme by nature as our God is a very angry Sovereign God ready to pour down His Absolute Sovereign Wrath upon unsuspecting non-elected sinners at any time. Putting reprobates in their place is just part of our job as the Bible commands us to imitate our Father God in Heaven.

A video example of our Biblically verifiable theology.

We wish that crybaby reprobates would quit whining and complaining about their status as the losers of God’s Sovereign lottery of pre-determined Absolute Fatalism. God can and does get what He wants  as is His Sovereign Will and His good pleasure decrees so suck it up if you are on the losing end of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath as it was just Fate that you were Born to Lose. All of this is Biblically verifiable theology as We back up our Extreme Theology with the Hard Truths of the Bible and Bible-Based STRETCH Technology. This is why our Extreme approach to everything works and why We must take a stand against those trying to water down theology with love as you can’t save anyone by loving up on them. You’ve got to tell them the Truth like John MacArthur—the Hard Truth that God hates them and is so angry with their sinful ways that He could threaten to pour down His wrath upon them at any moment unless they are Elect and therefore able to repent.


How to dehorn an emergent

May 4, 2010


Dehorning an emergent is much like dehorning a cow

There are different methods from removing the horns, or dehorning, an emergent – the simplest being not letting your young fundamentalist be turned toward emerging. When this is not an option, you can now make a choice as to what method to use to dehorn an emergent.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Chemical Method of Dehorning
1. Step 1
Push back the hair that covers the horn bud on the young emergent.
2. Step 2
Use a brush to apply caustic potash or caustic soda to the horn buttons.
3. Step 3
Choose whether to have the hair fall back over the horn bud after applying the caustic, or clipping the hair back altogether. Some have found that the hair helps to keep the caustic in place, and prevents the caustic from irritating the older emergents.
4. Step 4
Avoid getting any of the caustic in the emergent’s eyes. Always wear gloves when applying the chemical. Wait for sunny days to apply the chemical on the emergent as rain can wash the chemicals from the horn buds.
Hot Iron Method of Dehorning
5. Step 1
Use a hot iron for dehorning an emergent if they are a little older. Also use anesthesia in conjunction with the iron, especially on the older emergents. Carefully check that the iron is working well before applying it to the emergent. A unit that is too hot can cause brain damage in the emergent which will also aid you in bringing them back to fundamentalism.
6. Step 2
Hold the hot iron against each horn bud for 10 to 15 seconds. A copper-colored ring will appear.
7. Step 3
Observe the emergent. After 4 to 6 weeks, the horn button will fall off.
Spoon or Tube of Dehorning
8. Step 1
Make sure you use the proper sized tube for the horn for dehorning. There are four sizes available. The tube should fit over the horn bud, as well as 1/8 inch of skin around the base of the horn bud.
9. Step 2
Place the cutting edge so that it is straight down over the horn bud.
10. Step 3
Twist and push the tube until you cut through the skin, then cut under the horn button and remove it.
11. Step 4
Apply an antiseptic to help prevent infection.
Barnes Method of Dehorning
12. Step 1
Fit the knives over the horns of the young emergent or older one by closing the handles of the Barnes-type dehorners. You will want to remove a ring of skin at the same time as the horn.
13. Step 2
Spread the handles apart as quickly as you can manage. This engages the knives, which cut off the horn.
14. Step 3
Make sure the blades are sharp before this procedure. Use anesthesia as well as make sure the emergent is properly restrained.
15. Step 4
Stop the bleeding by either using forceps to pull the artery, or a hot iron.

Yes, it is just that easy to dehorn an emergent.

Original article here


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