August 2, 2019
Super discernmentalist Paul Proctor notes “Driving across town the other day, I passed by a church that always displays an inspirational message on their sign out front. Such messages are very common these days and often quite thought provoking. The one I saw most recently had me thinking all the way home.
It read: “Churches are hospitals for sinners, not museums for saints.”
“How sad and true, I thought to myself. Churches have become hospitals for sinners, haven’t they? They used to be spiritual fortresses built in enemy territory where soldiers for Christ were recruited, trained and equipped for doing battle against sin and evil in society with open bibles, convicted hearts and committed lives.”
We at ODMafia like the good old days when we could burn heretics at the stake. Or going further back in time, like St. Paul’s Corinthian church (the golden age) where good old fashioned believers had sex with their step moms and they got waisted during communion. Sigh….we wish we could go back to when times were better.
—ODMafia fortified with Our Truth
May 20, 2010
The ODMafia is now offering 1 hour Calvinizing to make sure you are clean before Jesus. Yes, make you Election sure with 1 hour Calvinizing!
April 25, 2010
The ODmafia Research Robot Monkeys have been doing their homework and discovered this incredible discernmentalist insight by Paul Proctor “Today, they’re [church‘] largely filled with bedridden believers who pass the time in and out small group therapy, languishing over their ills and misfortunes – forever discussing their aches and pains with anyone who’ll listen – lying around moaning and groaning about daily discomforts, inconveniences and “felt needs””
How does Paul know this?
1) Paul gets his information the same way I do, he intercepts the brainwaves of parishioners from across the continent and draws judgmental conclusions from it.
2) Paul Proctor has spent billions of hours in churches across America
My immediate inclination (which is always correct) is that Paul Proctor has a special discernmentalist vortex that allows him to see into the minds of others….instead of having to attend 10’s of thousands of churches every sunday, interviewing, polling to ascertain who is a moaner and who is a groaner (when we’re really lucky – its both!!!)
Pay no attention to the fact that Mr. Proctor is moaning and groaning about his fellow believers. Its simply enough that he is pointing out the ills of others… and we submit that we like this sort of discernment….in fact we advocate it.