Introducing our all new Discernmentalist Decoder Rings!

November 3, 2019

decoderdis

ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!

Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:

Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.

Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.

“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”

“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”

You get the picture.

You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…

Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!

 

ODMafia Endorsed

 

 


Extra! Extra! Smocking Gun: Pulpit & Pen/Planned Parenthood One and the Same!

May 5, 2019

pppp

Using Eric Barger’s newly released Smocking Gun Technology—our Research Robot Monkeys have discermentalized the following alt-facts about our former allies the formerly known Pulpit & Pen (now known as Party & Propaganda):

Smocking Gun # 1- Party & Propaganda (PP) as well as Planned Parenthood are abbreviated PP.

Smocking Gun # 2- Both PPs talk about abortion but only 3.4% of the time.

Smocking Gun # 3- Both PPs participate in the war on women:

Babies conceived by rape and incest are made in the image of God as much as any other child. God knits the product of rape in his mother’s womb as carefully as he does the product of the marriage bed. Why should the heartbeats of certain babies, who have done no wrong themselves, be allowed to be snuffed out? Do the hearts of these unwanted children not beat just as true as wanted ones? Is it simply easier to pass the law without arguing about it protecting babies conceived in rape and incest? (PP)

Privacy and dignity are often cited in defense of buffer zone laws, which attempt to prevent pro-lifers from praying for or sharing the truth with women outside of abortion clinics. These buzz words are also used in fights against parental notification laws, because apparently notifying parents that their underage daughter is having an abortion is a violation of privacy. (PP)

Smocking Gun # 4- Both are said to be funded by George Soros. (More on that later).

These are just a few of the alt-facts our Research Robot Monkeys have discovered and we think that you’ll agree to agree with us that the mounting evidence speaks for itself. Our Research Robot Monkeys have found even more evidence but since we left them overworking their circuits overnight—we need to recharge their batteries. Stay tuned further evidence to come….


Judging Books by the Authors on their Covers

May 4, 2019

cool-judge-book-cover-math-enjoy

Since Eternity Matters we bring you this important lesson in Discernmentalism: ‘With the late RHE as the author you can judge a book by the cover…(for she) was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And she aggressively supported pro-abortion policies.’ (Link)

We here at the ODMafia agree as our Research Robot Monkeys have also discermentalized the following important facts to fit the narrative of this essential truth of this teaching on judgmentalism:

  1. Saint Augustine was the author of “The City of God” and was a false teacher because he was a Mary-worshipping popish-pagan semi-Pelagian Romanist Catholic who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-war policies (against non-Catholics).
  2. Martin Luther was the author of “The Jews and Their Lies” so therefore was a false teacher who followed Augustinianism and lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported anti-Semitic as well as anti-Capitalist policies.
  3. John Calvin was the author of “The Institutes of Christian Religion” and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by following Luther’s Protestant doctrines of protesting God’s ordained authority (the Pope). And he aggressively supported pro-overregulation by spying on others as well as pro-murder policies by executing heretics.
  4. Charles Spurgeon was the author of “Morning & Evening” and was a follower of Calvin but also a “Reformed” Baptist and was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by rejecting Calvin’s Clear Teachings on Baptism. And he aggressively supported anti-imperialist and anti-war policies.
  5. G. K. Chesterton was the author of “Orthodoxy” who was a false teacher for being an apostate Catholic philosopher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supported pro-wealth redistribution policies.
  6. C. S. Lewis was the author of “Mere Christianity” as well as Children’s fantasy novels so was a false teacher who lead countless people astray and affirmed them in their sin and rebellion by teaching universalism. And he aggressively supported pro-egalitarian policies.
  7. Doug Wilson is the author of “Evangellyfish” and is a false teacher who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion by teaching semi-Arian heresy. And he aggressively supports pro-racist neo-Confederate and pro-rape policies.
  8. James White is the author of “The Potter’s Freedom” and also is a false teacher by teaching that social issues have nothing to do with the Gospel (despite the witness of church history) who leads countless people astray and affirms them in their sin and rebellion. And he aggressively supports the never Trump movement and anti-social justice policies.

This list could go on for an eternity but because Eternity Matters we have more important things to do like teaching the Good News of our Angry God who hates everybody not like us or don’t believe in the Purity of our great Doctrines.

A recent post of ours by Dr. I. Todyaso slightly related to this one: New Emerging Heretic Bible Found.


Breaking: Pulpit & Pen exposed as Pinkos!

May 1, 2019

pinkos

Partnering with our old comrades allies in our Truth War again: McCarthy Ministries have detected subtly subliminal communist propaganda in our once ally now enemy: Pulpit & Pen. Now we have even more reason to suspect them of not holding true to our Doctrines and have no other choice but to put them on our Watch-list. This is all-concerning because Pulpit & Pen themselves have taught:

If a movement were of God, we should expect it to begin within the local church and work outward into the world. Social Justice, on the other hand, is entirely externally driven and is working inwardly upon the local churches. There isn’t any better reason to believe that Social Justice is not of Christ than to see that it is a movement pressing upon the local church and not a movement by the local church.

While researchers have uncovered the political motivations and corrupt cash being spent by men like James Riady and George Soros and laundered through The Gospel Coalition, most should be able to admit that it’s parachurch ministries that are driving the Social Justice Bandwagon.

Social Justice is an ideology birthed out of Critical Theory and Libertion Theology, the product of a wedding between Italian fascists and South American Jesuits, in which Marxist thought is combined with Theism to bring about political change.

But now this—our old allies McCarthy Ministries have detected Red so now we must call all True Truth Warriors to continue to unite with us and help us take a stand against Pulpit & Pen aka People’s Propaganda aka the Pinko’s Party. We must also continue with our bombardment campaign of them using our Weapons of Massive Destruction. Thankfully you have True Online Discernmentalist Ministries like us to warn you of all those straying off the  True Path set before us by the Protestant Reformers who just like us didn’t believe in “Social” Justice—especially not Martin Luther the founding father of the Protestant Revolution….er Reformation.

Don Jobson and Truthslayer—-manning the Massives while I. Todyaso is conducting our business affairs.


Red Alert!!! We’re Under Attack…. once again by One of Our Own!

April 30, 2019

undaatteck

We are sad to announce that part 2 of Dr. Truthslayer’s series on When Discernment Becomes Extra Ugly  scheduled for today is postponed until further notice as once again and as always our Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most inerrant illustrious Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. One of our very own— Pulpit & Pen have fired off a salvo against the Online Discernmentalist Mafia community due to our recent Massives on the truth about Heresy-Hunting and defamation of characters the Reformation. Pulpit & Pen have threatened to demolish our Truth Bunker with their missives (which aren’t nearly as Pure in their Truth and Doctrine as our Massives). Thankfully though our Truth Bunker is super secret so wasn’t hit and none of us were harmed.

Quote from one of their missives in which they slander the blessed memory of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher who taught us everything we know about discernmentalism:

 I firmly believe that “guilt by association” (as known as the Doctrine of Godly Separation) is a Biblical concept found throughout both the Old and New Testaments, and anyone who says otherwise needs to read their Bible. However, guilt-by-association cannot be applied ad infinitum. …The late Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries, who recommended…Justin Peters (but not) John MacArthur… Justin Peters is bad for (not) recommending John MacArthur, (but instead is) recommending Albert Mohler, who is bad for recommending (ostensibly) Rick Warren.

Everyone knows that Ken would never under any circumstances recommend Purpose-Driven Heretic Rick Warren even by guilt of association as the late Ken Silva (blessed be his memory) passed on his Clear Teachings to us which are the same as our Clear Teachings. Also Ken himself in his glorious missives taught us to use guilt by association ad infinitum and an attack on Ken’s Clear Teachings is an attack on the Clear Teachings of our Pure Doctrines of our Pope of the Truth War (PBUH) and therefore an attack on us personally. Also everyone knows that John MacArthur (PBUH) is the only True living Teacher of God’s Word who said this about Baptism which is consistent with our Clear Teachings on Baptism so he would never violate the Purity of our Doctrine of Godly Separation and associate with an infant sprinkling heretic:

We understand what believer’s baptism is from Scripture.

But there’s a world of people who don’t get it, who don’t understand it. And there are people who don’t know that it is important and who don’t think the methodology is important, or even the time when a person is baptized. There are folks who are just plain confused about baptism, what is its method, and what is its meaning, and in particular, what about the baptizing of infants, which is how you get a world full of non-Christians who have been baptized as infants.

Infant baptism is not baptism…it’s not New Testament baptism. This may surprise you, it’s nothing, it’s totally meaningless. Well you might have got emotional when you took your little child in there ‘cause you love your little child and you hope the best for him, or her. But as far as the spiritual condition of that child, it had absolutely no effect whatsoever. Infant baptism is not in the Bible, it is not New Testament baptism. And this is an uncontestable fact because when you do go in to the Bible in the New Testament and you talk about baptism and you study baptism, it is absolutely crystal clear what baptism is. The only people who are ever baptized in the New Testament are people who have come to faith in Christ. And baptism is always immersing them in water, it is never sprinkling water on their heads from a tiny little fountain.

2

And as everyone knows no True Truth Warrior would do anything that is not contained in the Bible as we are all Conservative  Bible-believing folks—and all Bible-believers everywhere agree with JMac’s Truth (PBUI) otherwise they are enemies of our Truth in the Truth War. Quote: “Obedience simply means to submit to what the Lord says, do what He tells you.  And what He tells you is revealed in Scripture.” This is why we ODMs always have to hide out in our Truth Bunker to keep our fragile Hard Doctrines which always need protecting purified and safe from all manners of sinfully ecumenical worldliness and hereticalness—in  fact we hide out in separate rooms in our bunker to perfect the purity of our Pure Doctrine of separation as well. Also we may only be a congregation of 3 separate people with an occasional 4th or 5th member but that just proves how much purer our Doctrine of separation is than anyone else’s as we follow the late Ken Silva’s Church Growth model of Ecumenical jihad dividing the church.

Holding all to be separated in our Doctrine,

Don Jobson


Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

April 27, 2019

heresy

Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

  1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

  2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

  3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

  4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

  5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.


“Reformation Eroding!”: Warns Pulpit & Pen

April 24, 2019

idolatry

Once again the Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most illustrious most inerrant Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that one of our own Al Mohler (who we already exposed as a Socialist against our Clear Teachings) did something that we ODMs disapprove of: mourned the fire at Notre Dame against our Clear Teachings against such. Quote:

Like most in the Evangelical Intelligentsia, Albert Mohler is signaling a virtue that is almost altogether disconnected from his theology. The long, long line to mourn the loss of a Temple of Idols forms somewhere near the headquarters of The Social Gospel Coalition, who lean heavily upon Roman Catholic Liberation Theology to support their progressive political agenda.

Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.

We here at the ODMafia agree that this is a clear perversion of our the Doctrines of Grace and will erode the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther’s (who observed Easter against our clear teachings on it’s pagan catholic origins) and John Calvin (who was influenced by the Patristics against our clear teachings to avoid all things Catholic). For shame Al—repent back to our Angry ODM Truth War Gospel against all those we deem unworthy of God’s grace or the liberals; gays; emergent hordes; Catholics; semi-pelagians; Rob Bell;  Armenians; pacifists; extraterrestrials; Red Letter Christians; Dracula; Bigfoot; etc. whose God’s love wins will erode our Reformation and the Purity of our Sound Doctrines and prevent us from bringing all of us back to the Dark Ages.

As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & Spin Dullspit & Sin Dips#it & Pretend Pulpit & Pen:

“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

We move that Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass  of the mighty Truth Warrior site Pyromaniacs force persuade Al to rejoin the ODM fold and take a stand in the Pure Doctrines of our most illustrious most Holy most inerrant Pope over ODMs and internet Calvinists everywhere (PBUH) or revoke his association with Mohler. In case you have forgotten my credentials—I was personally  mentored by the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Online Congregation of the True Remnant of ODMs—who personally sat at the feet of the late Walter Martin by pouring over his Apologetics cassette tapes for several hours. This gives me more than enough self-righteousness to discernmentalize and judgmentalize all those who don’t hold true to the Purity of our Doctrines of the Truth War.


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