Evil Emergent Plot Uncovered

October 15, 2009

Ken Silva and the fine crew of God’s Only Inerrant Party have recently discovered a new sinister plot by those  Evil Emergents who are truly pagan and worship Satan. Here are the details that our GOIP Bot Searcher 3342 found on futher investigation:


You see there—those Evil Emergents are plotting to sacrifice little Baptist children to Satan (and by Baptists we mean only those who follow the Pure Doctrines as preached by Spurgeon). They said that they were doing this in protest of our Halloweenie Heretic Book Burning Shindig.  If that isn’t Absolute Proof that Emergents are the Incarnation of Absolute Evil then here is futher proof: Emergents love Postmodern Philosophy. Jacques Derrida is a Postmodern Philosopher and the devil reads Derrida. Photographic evidence:


From this we can conclude that Postmodernism is of the devil—so therefore the Emergents are non-Elect and also of the devil, too.

Don Jobson—Taking A Stand on the Urgent Emergency of the Emergent Heresy.

Building others up….not part of ministry

September 29, 2009


Some Christians spend all their busy body time building each other up, they encourage one another….and base it all on flimsy texts like the ones in 1 Thes 5 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

or 1st Corinthians… “We know that all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know….

We realize that if we spent all our time building up other ministries (or others!), spending time encouraging one another we would NOT have time for true discernment which would mean pointing out why Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, Ravi Zacharias, James MacDonald, Shane Claiborne, Rob Bell, Gregory Boyd, Brian McLaren and Dan Kimball and so many more are wrong, prone to error, false teachers, heretics and don’t know the bible near as well as us….

We encourage you today to discourage someone…anyone. Point out why their doctrine is error prone and that they need to repent and become a discernmentalist…or at least read our materials so that they will know how wrong they are.

Please don’t offer them a kind word!

Please don’t remind them of God’s grace (you want them to be wallow in guilt).

Let us know how you did….and report in any stories that could be pertinent to the TRUE ministry of non-encouragement.

Get going and discourage someone today!

Head NOT Heart!

September 10, 2009

headSometimes truthwarriors are confused (like Ravi Zacharias who really is not a truth warrior)….they attempt to apply mercy, love and other spineless attributes that liberals, moderates and some conservatives use when ascertaining truth….or trying to understand another point of view. We URGE all warriors to apply the mind only. (and ONLY in  moderation). By doing so, and rightly ascending to the proper orthodoxy (OURS) you will be on the path to having all your T’s crossed and I’s dotted.  This is what Jesus wanted….people who had the right abstract ideas void of any life practice…and this is what we want too. Remember truth is not Jesus, its about disembodied ideas.

Remember, the heart does not matter. You need to be a mean bastard to get ahead in this world, and ENFORCE truth especially when it means forging ahead in the truth…we gotta tell it like it is, set people straight, and verbally smack them around until they see our point. The heart will only hinder progress.


June 16, 2009

RocketmanEric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries (TSM) using the specially made Bible Belt in Conjunction with their Bible Based Satellite (BS) have insightfully concluded that Rick Warren may be in league with the devil, or one of his colleagues who is frankly unbiblical or at least likes Obama. Thankfully the Online Discernmentalist Mafia is in an entirely different league all together (ie the little league).

Nevertheless Warren according to Team TSM has written a ‘love’ letter that finds common ground with Muslims. We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia reject love letters, any commonality with our enemies, and sinners. We refuse to find any common ground…we do not have to due to our incredible truth insights. Just because St. Paul made the mistake of finding commonality with pagan sinners (or quoting from them) does NOT mean that we should stoop that low. We are above that.

We have come up with a solution for Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries…and it should work for us too! The ODMafia is soooo truthy that we disdain the ground that the unrighteous walk on (ie most other Christian ministries, Christians, non-Christians and readers that disagree with us.) Because ODMafia is so bible based and embracing of absolute truth that we have invented a BIBLE BASED JET PACK so that we can avoid the ground that is polluted by people who like Rick Warren etc.(also Rob Bell, NT Wright, John Stott, Gregory Boyd and James MacDonald).

In addition, the Online Discernmentalist Mafia is officially against the ground from here on in…and groundless accusations (against us of course!!!!), or anyone who thinks that they stand on solid ground.  

Thank-you Lord that we are NOT like those people, we fast, pray, tithe….we are generally swell.


What is destroying the moral and spiritual foundation of today’s society?

June 14, 2009

dukesThe ODMafia research robot monkeys have their eye on Ravi Zacharias, and their other eye on the Dukes of Hazzard TV show. Our robot research monkeys posted the following question to Ravi Zacharias:

What is destroying the moral and spiritual foundation of today’s society?

Zacharias: I believe a convergence of many factors has taken place. Much of education in the 1960s came unhinged from any moral absolutes and ethical values, to wit the book Excellence Without a Soul by Harry R. Lewis. We have seen this happening the last 40 years. There have been many voices alerting us to this. But more than just a philosophy took over; a mood took over.

Ravi one again makes a fatal error in his conclusions.

Error one: He did not read several discernmentalist articles from Apprising Ministries and Eric Barger’s Take A Stand first.

Error two: He did not first go to Slice of Laodicea for good solid background information.

Error three: He failed to go to Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries to work Rick Warren or Rob Bell  into the downfall of civilization.

Finally, using cunning words and pleasing typestyles Ravi seduces his audience into thinking it is all about ‘mood.’ Wrong. Think again Ravi…. We won’t be duped by your intellect, humility, integrity or highly respected ministry

Is conventional heresy detection going the way the VHS?

June 10, 2009

VCRAs an expert discernmentalist I have exposed many cases of heresy and false teaching. I have listened and watched hundreds of thousands sermons (per second) carefully to detect any nuance of bad teaching  (ie anything at all to safeguard your ears). I pounce on the slightest spoken word that I deduce as false teaching, or misleading remarks…. calling pastors “out” in public. I have read 245,004 books and found teaching that disqualifies 99% of all Christians as Christians.

….this includes Ravi Zacharias (who has spoken will of a man who embraces contemplation), John Stott (leans towards annihilationism), NT Wright, (Emergers like him) James MacDonald (spoke well of Obama), James Beverly (spoke at The Meeting House in Canada which makes him a communist sympathizer), Charles Swindoll (he once said darn!), Rob Bell (for his cool glasses), Gregory Boyd (he is an Open Theist and does not worship his country like he should) among others.

I have read 1.4 million articles (mostly my own articles) and cite them as a way to legitimize my own theology…I call that EXPERT discernmentalism.

Online Discernmentalist Ministries have been on guard for over a decade prowling the net to make sure that that we abide by theologically correct protocols and orthodoxy. That is the CALLING of most Bible Believers! It is a sad day  when conventional heresy detection (pointing fingers) in real life is going the way of the VCR and now we rely on digital finger pointing….sad.

Slice of Infinity 2.0 – Ravi Censors Jesus

June 8, 2009

raviThe ODMafia research robot monkeys have been researchmentaling Ravi Zacharias. In his so called defense of “Slice of Infinity” he states “”A Slice of Infinity” is aimed at reaching into the culture with words of challenge, words of truth, and words of hope.”

Notice that in this single sentence he does NOT use the name of Jesus!!!!! He uses such subversive words as “challenge, truth and hope” (all diversions of course!!!!) but does his best to avoid the Name of Names in that VERY sentence.

That’s right folks …he neglected to use the name of Jesus.  He may have used Jesus’  name in the other sentences and other paragraphs in the same article but he didn’t say his name where WE THOUGHT HE SHOULD!

Like other ODMs we have the special privilege, right and ministry calling to spin things the way we see it. We call it ministry.

We don’t want to turn this into one of those false-teaching-apostate-opinion ministries that others less righteous than us use to propagate. We stand for truth and true discernment. We apprise, discern and evaluate each and every word to decided who is biblical and who is not.

We stick to HARD FACTS, FACT FINDING MISSIONS, and FACTOIDS to keep you informed so that you do not have to do any discerning. We’re not called the special ops of discernmentalism for nothing!

Ravi thinks he can slice infinity

May 10, 2009


The ODMafia research robot monkeys have been researchmentaling Ravi Zacharias and have found MORE potential emergent-heresy-nonsense. Using H-Raytechnology we discovered that Ravi has been referring to a series of articles under the guise of Slice of Infinity. We at ODMafia KNOW for a fact that one CANNOT slice infinity. 6 years ago ODM’s from across North America spent 6 billion dollars attempting to slice infinity. It cannot be done. In fact the mere mention of Slice of Infinity suggests that Ravi can do what most mortals cannot – slice up the things that are infinite…we believe this is tantamount to a claim of divinity! We will NOT tolerate such a claim.

We have attempted to phone Ravi 3.4 million times in hopes that he would fess up and repent. Gone are the days and golden years of perfect apologists who would never claim to slice infinity. So far he remains silent.

Editors note: H-Rays is a reference to the heresy rays that emanate from heretics and  heresy detection discovered several years ago by discernmentalists and put to use hunting for heretics. Thus, the H-Ray detector detects heretics.

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