April 18, 2020
ODM Express File Photo
Oh yes, we would like to thank ODM Express for their ‘vigilance’, ‘honest’ investigative reporting, and ‘clarity’, old, ‘unbiased’ news media. Cooper Academy-D.B. Cooper—proof Jeff Bezos is D. B. Cooper… How else do you think he has all that money? The Lamestream media doesn’t want you to know the “Truth”? Wake up! Sheeple! You know who else doesn’t want you to know the “Truth”? Chad Holtz that’s who. Chad as you may not know is a Secret Hindu Agent. Chad also works for Big Amazon and is part of the Amazon ninjas trying to suppress “the Real Truth.”
Chad once thought he got saved by shaking quasi-Universalist Emergence semi-Pelagurite guru Rob Bell’s hand. We also heard he voted for Hillary. Also Amazon carries the “purpose-seeker-driven” books that Chad reads like that semi-pelican sinfully-ecumenical Emergent heretic Rob Bell’s and purpose-drivel shaman Rich Warren’s. Proof that there’s a nefarious conspiracy and hidden feminist political agenda going on. They’re all in on the secret cover-up to hide the “Truth” that Jeff Bezos is D. B. Cooper. And as our former co-Truth Warrior Will Farel XV has said:
Chad Holtz who has been harassing this young man, who share my Divine zeal for the Truth, with his peace mantras.
Let us take a closer look at this “peace” that Chad ends his heretic enabling comments with. Remember those “peace” cries of the hippies? What peace were they talking about? I will tell you. The peace that would invite the Communists like Barak Obama, together with his supporter, Spiritual Guru Brian McLaren*, to take over our beautiful Christian United States of America. This same peace is also the theme of John Lennon’s song “Give Peace a Chance”. As we know John Lennon and Yoko Ono were followers of the cult of the Hare Krishna mantra of Hinduism and that was what this song is really about. So here we have Chad shouting peace, peace like a mantra. What should be our conclusion? Chad might also be secret a follower of the Hare Krishna movement!
As you can see my “facts” have been well researchmentalized—believe me…
Spread the Conspiracy,
April 14, 2020
Our Research Robot Monkeys observed this with their very eyes. This is the Bill Gate agenda to cause emergent meditation to emerge. We must put a stop to this and take a stand in the sovereignty of our pro-life anti-vax
conspiracies Doctrine. Our late great affectionate uncle and mentor Ken Silva would be appalled at this worldly abomination.
I am pro-life because I say I am,
October 26, 2019
We all belong together. So for the first time in history, our famous mascots and cereals are offered exclusively together in the same box for All Together Cereal. It’s a symbol of acceptance no matter how you look, where you’re from or who you love.
Oh the horror is there any object that doesn’t offend us or persecute us! This is worse than when fictional cartoon rats got ghey-married causing hetero-marriages to fail by osmosis! Noted Discernmentlist Ken Ham declared: “We are not “All together,” as the lifestyle/worldview of these fictional cereal mascots is anti-God, anti-biblical & anti-science and consists of only a small minority in the culture.” As my co-Truthwarrior Dr. Truthslayer has pointed out: “We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon they will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its processed whole-wheat or nothing!!!”
In fact we know this as one Kellogian stated: “Just think now KIDS might get the idea to buy 6 separate boxes of cereal, and mix them up on their own! Kellog’s is now working for the Devil! No more Kelloggs! They are evil, because any of their cereals might get mixed!!! Leading kids to proclaim: Hail Satan!” If this doesn’t make clear how unbiblical and apostate this cereal really is—consider this—our Research Robot Monkeys overheard this apostate cereal saying:
“Black, white, green, red
Can I take my friend to bed?
Pink, brown, yellow, orange, and blue
I love you”
We only wish that more inanimate objects; fictional characters; even animals would hold true to our morals; Doctrines and worldview. We have one word of caution—if you see this cereal in stores…flee!
To counteract this assault on our Truth—we recommend a daily dose of Calvin Crunch; Reformation Crunch; Truth Loops; Catacomb; and Christo-Fascist Flakes for a more Biblically-sound all around healthy breakfast and extra-protection from wetness!
November 2, 2010
Discernmentalist News: Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) who insists his identity must be kept out of the Internet, had a momentary lapse of Discernmentalism. After a great time of abusing others at a local college where he told women they’re dressed like prostitutes, and he tells students that gay people will burn in hell, accidently went on to invite the gay people at the event to his church. This was fortunately realized as an oversight and resorted to name calling of those gay people who did take his offer. Source
Again, we here ephasize that Pastorboy aka (name withheld upon request), who once threatened to sue us must not be known on the Internet by his real name or the location of the church he pastors. We at the ODMafia are doing our best to keep anything like that information out of our blog. We also would hate to have him sue us for exposing Pastorboy’s true identity. And please… do not feed the monkeys.
July 7, 2010
We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars. H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.
We have high hopes for Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:
- Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
- Unable to resist sitting under our feet
- Learning to study our Truth War ways
- Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
- Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners