Lighthouse Trails announces new name! Lighthouse Entrails

September 23, 2019

outhouse

Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.


Our Favorite Hymn from the Truth War Hymnal!

July 18, 2019

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Discernmentalists rejoice—our Truth War finally has a hymn we can get behind. Hymn #1984 from The Truth War Hymnal—the only known Absolute hymnal for Bible-Believing Conservatives and Internet Discernmentalists everywhere. Here is the version sung by the Internet Discernmentalist Men’s Choir from their hit debut album Hymns Of The Truth War:

        JESUS HATES YOU      

BY AUGUSTUS TOPLADY XIII, Esquire

Jesus hates you! This We know
For Fatalistic Pre-determinism tells us so
Little ones created just to destroy
All for the sake of God’s Sovereign Jealous joy!

Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you

And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too

Jesus loves We Truth Warriors, we will win!
For we can’t fall away by sin.
Can’t resist His grace, it’s true,
Died for us but not for you.

Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you
Yes, Jesus hates you

And His Sovereign Wrath abide upon you too

All Spiritualizing is just fine.
His body’s trapped at God’s right hand,
Way far off Christ takes His stand

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Jesus loves me! Where is He?
Up in heaven, can’t you see?
Can’t be sure where I will go
Jesus little lamb, or no?

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Never pictures will I see,
No vain images for me!
Tear the paintings off the wall,
Trash them, kick them down the hall.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

Principles that regulate,
All our worship, ain’t they great?
Even if we aren’t too sure,
Which points really are secure.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Well, maybe He loves me
I sure hope He loves me
I guess I’ll never know!

©2007-2010®™


Extra! Extra! Smocking Gun: Pulpit & Pen/Planned Parenthood One and the Same!

May 5, 2019

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Using Eric Barger’s newly released Smocking Gun Technology—our Research Robot Monkeys have discermentalized the following alt-facts about our former allies the formerly known Pulpit & Pen (now known as Party & Propaganda):

Smocking Gun # 1- Party & Propaganda (PP) as well as Planned Parenthood are abbreviated PP.

Smocking Gun # 2- Both PPs talk about abortion but only 3.4% of the time.

Smocking Gun # 3- Both PPs participate in the war on women:

Babies conceived by rape and incest are made in the image of God as much as any other child. God knits the product of rape in his mother’s womb as carefully as he does the product of the marriage bed. Why should the heartbeats of certain babies, who have done no wrong themselves, be allowed to be snuffed out? Do the hearts of these unwanted children not beat just as true as wanted ones? Is it simply easier to pass the law without arguing about it protecting babies conceived in rape and incest? (PP)

Privacy and dignity are often cited in defense of buffer zone laws, which attempt to prevent pro-lifers from praying for or sharing the truth with women outside of abortion clinics. These buzz words are also used in fights against parental notification laws, because apparently notifying parents that their underage daughter is having an abortion is a violation of privacy. (PP)

Smocking Gun # 4- Both are said to be funded by George Soros. (More on that later).

These are just a few of the alt-facts our Research Robot Monkeys have discovered and we think that you’ll agree to agree with us that the mounting evidence speaks for itself. Our Research Robot Monkeys have found even more evidence but since we left them overworking their circuits overnight—we need to recharge their batteries. Stay tuned further evidence to come….


Social Media leads to Socialism!

April 26, 2019

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We  know so as our Research Robot Monkeys who are always combing the inter-webs for all things heretical and apostate; closet commie, liberal socialist or even slightly pink discovered that Social Media leads to Socialism. Even Socialists themselves have admitted that: “…the Internet and social media are often a useful complement to the kinds of activism that the left has traditionally engaged in.”

We agree as the Christian Researchmentalist Network of Discernmentalists who our late great Pastor-Teacher once led also noted:

Brandon Morse noticed Twitter was preventing him from tweeting a link to an article by a controversial conservative columnist. This follows stories of Google-owned YouTube “demonetizing” videos by conservatives, unplugging them from the ability to make money from ads, and Facebook and Google targeting conservative sites for hilariously inaccurate and tendentious “fact checks.” It’s becoming clear that the big social media companies are targeting ideas and thinkers on the Right, and not just the far-out provocateurs and trolls like Milo Yianopoulos, but everyone.

This is why we must take a stand in our Clear Teachings and forbid anyone from using social media sites lest they are led into the satanically inspired perverted cult of socialism. We of the Mafia and God’s Only Inerrant Party never use any social media sites as that would compromise our Pure Doctrines and lead us into socializing as well as socialism. Besides that social media is too worldly for our taste and we being True Men of God have better uses of our time as we’re out there scaring sharing preaching and teaching our the pagan American Jesus’ Gospel of God’s Wrath and hate grace into with everyone just like Eric Barger of Take a Stand Ministries who had this to say about socialism:

“We who understand truth and error, and who know because of the Scriptures where all of the events around us are leading, stand directly in the path opposing the grand plans of the globalists. That plan is, of course, the building of the utopian one-world system. Nationalists, patriots, conservatives and, above all, biblical Christians are already disdained, ridiculed, and even hated by the growing numbers of socialists surrounding us. Someday, we will be the enemies of the state.”

If you would like to know more—please sign up for our unsocial Media sites: ODMafia; GOIP Page and notTwitter and get  more articles such as this one that will help you take a stand against social media and socialism. And remember as Eric Barger said:

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NEITHER OBAMA’S NOR TRUMP’S NSA ARE SEVERE ENOUGH…

April 24, 2019

 

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      NSA NOT SEVERE ENOUGH

Written By Ron Jobson (Don Jobson’s “Liberal” Brother) when False President Obama Bin Laden was still occupying the Oval Office

“There are a bunch of people who hate (the) N.S.A.,” says Laura Blakey, (but it follows our Truth War Doctrines)….I think our Christianity offends them.”

I am saddened to learn that Obama is moderately reforming the NSA as I was hoping for a more severe reform as the NSA follows the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Clearly Obama is slipping into the man-worshipping heresy of semi-Pelagian Arminianism by not extending the NSA’s reach into spying on further areas of our lives just as the Pure Doctrine of Calvin proclaims. Thankfully Obama is still regulating us though he isn’t severely over-regulating us enough to reach the excellent quality of the sheer beauty of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. (And as we all know “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.”—Saint Charles Spurgeon and that John Calvin is the father of the theological system known as Calvinism. Praise Geneva and Dort and that John MacArthur (PBUH) is his final Prophet and Pope of our Truth War).:

“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”

Hopefully Obama (now Trump our Sovereign God-willing) will get onto really over-regulating every minute detail of our lives and spying on us in the Biblically-Correct manner of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Maybe then he’ll learn that I supported some Libertarians in the previous elections (sheer heresy) for as we know: “Calvin branded his opponents “Libertines” (the group opposed to Calvin referred to itself as the “Children of Geneva“). He called them “heretics” and “atheists” and employed the powers of the state to suppress them.” (That’s what Libertarians were called back then—also Libertarians sound like that unbiblical and ungodly term libertarian free will). And as the inerrant Romans 13 as well as Calvin’s final Prophet and our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) teaches us that we should obey the Government in all things without question:

“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

Maybe also then I can hopefully be tried for such a treasonous and heretical crime as supporting some Libertines/Libertarians. Maybe I’ll be thrown in prison or exiled from this pre-ordained Christian Nation but those punishments are too good for such a treasonous/heretical act as to question Obama in trying to follow the Pure Doctrine of Calvin with the NSA. It would be better if I were ‘put to death by slow burning at the stake for denouncing the tyranny of Obama and his NSA.’ I preach this Sound Biblical warning to you brethren to heed our Truth War Pope John MacArthur’s (PBUH) Biblically Orthodox Christian command to obey thy Government in all things without question. Or as John Calvin and the NSA would say: ‘we see whoever you sinners are sleeping with/we know when you’re awake/we know if you’ve been bad or good /so be good for meaninglessness’ sake…’

Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:

To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).

 


Fox News Controlled By Marxists

April 16, 2019

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Dear OD Mafia,

Lately I’m concerned that Fox News has  been failing to report our delusions the Real Truth.©™ What can I do if there’s no Safe Space away from the liberal hordes, Cultural Marxism and political correctness left  to confirm our biases Reality©™? Where can I turn to for Fake Real News©™? Whom can I turn to? Whom can I trust??

Sincerely,

I. R. DeLoo Ted

P. S. All countries who are not Muslim should expel them … France, Germany, U. S., etc.

Dear DeLoo Ted,

I’ll tell you who you can turn to and trust. We promise to be #1 in Alt-Facts and Fake Real News©™ as Trump is our disciple. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that Fox News too has fallen under the spell of evil Cultural Marxist puppet master George Soros who controls all the Media©™–and that is why:

“Fox has been trying to cover it up from the beginning. They cut off all of the priests midsentence and wouldn’t even listen to what they have to say. There is the issue that liberals believe all problems can be solved through increasing tolerance, diversity, and inclusivity. So if it is those doctrines which are actually inflaming our problem and they are completely blind to it, they will attempt to hide anything that may even mildly indicate that this liberal belief system is killing us.”—Joe Roberts

You can be sure of one thing Fox News will report what George Soros tells the Big Government to tell them to report and the way Big Brother tells them to report the news. So Fox News like all News in the USA is 100% controlled by the Government and the filthy Rich few who own the Media©™. So you can be sure of this, What the News Media©™ Says can say they are sure about what they are told to say. —————————————————–But it is my opinion those Filthy Rich People who control the News©™ are trying to keep the truth hidden so the People of France do not start a Civil War against the Islamic Invaders of their Nation.

Trust Only In Us For Your Alt-Factual Fake True Newsworthy Alt-Media©™ reporting Needs,

Drs. Don Jobson; I. Todyaso and Truthslayer

P.S. Let the Free Market decide the TRUE NEWS©™.

 

 

 

 

 

 


ODM Science Lesson # 5

August 12, 2010

 And you thought there  was an end to our science lessons:

P. S. Bible Monkey before you joined us in our Truth War ways we meant this for you—but I guess now we need your help in sending this out to Eugene Peterson. His Message is one of apes and monkeys and New Age Spirituality.


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