The Silva Bullet!

April 27, 2019

sil1

Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET.  A Aperising Pictures  Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker.  Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.

Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!” 

Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now  there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:

  • Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
  • Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
  • WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.

Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.

This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.


Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

April 27, 2019

heresy

Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

  1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

  2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

  3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

  4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

  5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.


John Armstrong OVERTLY attacks Online Discernment Ministries

December 3, 2014

It does not take ODMafia long before we detect OPPOSERS. We know an opposer from a mile away. They pretend to be biblical but really they are opposing true discernmentalism. Just recently John Armstrong of Act3Online posted “Every Idle Word.”

He cunningly posted the following with direct aim at ODMafia “…you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you”  He dares challenge Truthslayer!

I stand incensed.

Opposer-of-the-truth-easy-on-emergent-John-Armstrong-possibly-liberal stoops even lower suggesting  “Gossip, …is idle talk… careless speech. It may be malicious and it may even be true.” Mr. John-liberal-(possibly communist) Armstrong – online discernment ministries survive on this basis!

We have itching ears that need to be fed.

Our status quo is to  practice “rip and read” attack tactics (try your best to say that phrase fast!)

Please note that careless speech in Online Discernment circles is called RESEARCH John! Get it together!

Finally, true believers need only know that maturity means haphazardly researched articles, undermining ministries and learning about the latest heresy. We can easily disregard 1000s of years of the Christian faith, theology and history with casual disregard….ignorance is our strength.

Finally John –  your church is that it is too small!

Truthslayer

PS We believe that John Armstrong needs to begin listening to consevative talk shows radio like Shawn Hannity to grasp the truth.


Tin-Foil Hat Theology: A Discernmentalist’s Best Friend!

May 29, 2010

 

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.

They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.

Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel,  lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :

– non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.

– International bankers are trying to take over the world.

– The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.

– NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.

– The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan. 

– Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.

– Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.

 – the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).

The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies  of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!


Was Hitler A Truly Regenerate Elect Christian?

May 28, 2010

 

Rhoblogy actually had the gall to ask such an ignorant question. Of course, Hitler was Truly of the Regenerate Elect and a True Christian being the True Truth Warrior that he was. Brannon Howse should reprimand Rhoblogy and ban him from voting in the next Republican National Convention until he publically Repents of his ignorance. Phil Johnson should also revoke Rhoblogy’s commenting privileges on the Mighty Truth Warrior site: Pyromaniacs. We just pray and hope that Rhoblogy is not one of  the many unfortunate sinners to fall into the hands of our angry God of Wrath not love. Thankfully though being some of the lucky Chosen few who are of the True Godly Elect we’re here to set Rhoblogy straight just as our affectionate Uncle Ken Silva would have already if he was as gifted at True Discernmentalism as We are here.

God has gifted us with such a high and mighty gift of self-righteous Discernmentalism that we are able to presume a person’s Eternal Destiny. Hitler was not only a True Truth Warrior just like John MacArthur is but he is also a True man of God as well and we’ll show you just why—as you know if you are a good and faithful student of John MacArthur’s Pure Truth Wars Doctrines™ that the mark of a Truly Regenerate Elect Christian Truth Warrior of Absolute Truth in this war against for Truth is as follows:

  1. a True Christian must be anti-Catholic:
    1. The mass of the catholic church is ‘a blasphemous fable and a dangerous deceit’. The pope of rome is antichrist. ( instead of Christ) The Romish Church is not a true church in any biblical sense. It is the whore of Babylon as stated in Rev. 17-18. This is the position taken by historic protestantism. Any so called protestants who have wandered from this position are apostate protestants. The catholic church may be a false church of God in the same way as satan is God’s devil. God is soverign!
  2. a True Christian is Protestant
  3. a True Christian is anti-social,  anti-Socialist and anti-Communist
  4. a  True Christian takes a stand against all things gay and homosexual

Hitler exemplified all of these marks and here is just one quote by him as Absolute Proof:

‘Hitler’s Truth War:

“Today they say that Christianity is in danger, that the Catholic faith is threatened. My reply to them is: for the time being, Christians and not international atheists are now standing at Germany’s fore. I am not merely talking about Christianity; I confess that I will never ally myself with the parties which aim to destroy Christianity. Fourteen years they have gone arm in arm with atheism. At no time was greater damage ever done to Christianity than in those years when the Christian parties ruled side by side with those who denied the very existence of God. Germany’s entire cultural life was shattered and contaminated in this period. It shall be our task to burn out these manifestations of degeneracy in literature, theater, schools, and the press—that is, in our entire culture—and to eliminate the poison which has been permeating every facet of our lives for these past fourteen years.” (Source).

 Sound familiar?

Right now, truth is under attack, and it’s going on within the boundaries of evangelicalism. There’s a lot at stake and there’s no middle ground—no safe zone for the uncommitted in this war. [T]he church today is quite possibly more susceptible to false teachers, doctrinal saboteurs, and spiritual terrorism than any other generation in church history. Biblical ignorance within the church may well be deeper and more widespread than at any other time since the Protestant Reformation. (Source).

Oh yeah and here’s a quote by Hitler on the Penal Substitutionary Theory of the Atonement just in case you deny the True Truth Warrior-ness of Hitler:

“My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.

Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

John MacArthur couldn’t have said it any better:

“My Absolute Certainty as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Bible-denying Emergent Red-Letter Socialist Justice  promoting Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven heretic Christians for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and for God’s truth! Jesus was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter—a zealous warrior for Absolute Truth. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders. How terrific was His fight for the Absolute Truth against worldly poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for Absolute Truth that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated nor let the Church be deceived, but I have the duty to be a fighter for Absolute Truth and the True Justice of  our God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people—the Church, God’s People—the True Godly and Elect. 


Brannon Howes teaches how to persecute Christians

May 26, 2010

“Brannon and John will explore the five stages for establishing the persecution of Christians. Stage one. Define the opposition. Stage two: Marginalize the opposition. Stage Three: Vilify the Opposition. Stage Four: Pass laws criminalizing the activities of the opposition. Stage Five: Enforce the new laws against the opposition.”

We here at the ODMafia are soooo impressed with this latest teaching out of Brannon Howse. We see this not only as the view on how we poor, poor innocent Christians who never do anything wrong, will be slowly persecuted, but also that this can be turned around and used against OUR ENEMIES! Yes! This very outline can be used against people like Rick Warren, Brian McLaren or N.T. Wright!

 

Stage one: Name your enemies! Shoot we will do that for you! Just read our blog!

Stage two: Make your enemies lesser than yourself. Make up funny names and demean them as people.  See them as substandard Christians at best or heretics worthy of burning at the stake or at least flaming on your blog!

Stage three: Vilify your enemies! Yes, even if it is not true make things up. GOd gave true dicernmentalists the tools of this world (Lies, slander, bearing false witness… you know those things) to use against our enemies. So, do like Brannon Howse does with Rick Warren and others and make things up! Whatever it takes as the truth is what is at steak here!

Stage four: Pass law criminalizing the activities of the enemies! If they are gay, vote no to marriage and civil unions. You get the picture… make them suffer!

Stage five: Enforce them laws! So back the anti Gay Uganda laws that could put gays as well as those who know a gay person in jail  or even executed! I mean as long as we persecute gay people then we do not have to face the reality that our Christian marriages rival the world percentage wise with the secular world in divorces… and that pastors have a higher divorce rate than even the secular world! Yes, we can put the blame on Gays instead of face our own sin, depravity and weak view of the “sanctity of marriage”.


How to dehorn an emergent

May 4, 2010


Dehorning an emergent is much like dehorning a cow

There are different methods from removing the horns, or dehorning, an emergent – the simplest being not letting your young fundamentalist be turned toward emerging. When this is not an option, you can now make a choice as to what method to use to dehorn an emergent.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Chemical Method of Dehorning
1. Step 1
Push back the hair that covers the horn bud on the young emergent.
2. Step 2
Use a brush to apply caustic potash or caustic soda to the horn buttons.
3. Step 3
Choose whether to have the hair fall back over the horn bud after applying the caustic, or clipping the hair back altogether. Some have found that the hair helps to keep the caustic in place, and prevents the caustic from irritating the older emergents.
4. Step 4
Avoid getting any of the caustic in the emergent’s eyes. Always wear gloves when applying the chemical. Wait for sunny days to apply the chemical on the emergent as rain can wash the chemicals from the horn buds.
Hot Iron Method of Dehorning
5. Step 1
Use a hot iron for dehorning an emergent if they are a little older. Also use anesthesia in conjunction with the iron, especially on the older emergents. Carefully check that the iron is working well before applying it to the emergent. A unit that is too hot can cause brain damage in the emergent which will also aid you in bringing them back to fundamentalism.
6. Step 2
Hold the hot iron against each horn bud for 10 to 15 seconds. A copper-colored ring will appear.
7. Step 3
Observe the emergent. After 4 to 6 weeks, the horn button will fall off.
Spoon or Tube of Dehorning
8. Step 1
Make sure you use the proper sized tube for the horn for dehorning. There are four sizes available. The tube should fit over the horn bud, as well as 1/8 inch of skin around the base of the horn bud.
9. Step 2
Place the cutting edge so that it is straight down over the horn bud.
10. Step 3
Twist and push the tube until you cut through the skin, then cut under the horn button and remove it.
11. Step 4
Apply an antiseptic to help prevent infection.
Barnes Method of Dehorning
12. Step 1
Fit the knives over the horns of the young emergent or older one by closing the handles of the Barnes-type dehorners. You will want to remove a ring of skin at the same time as the horn.
13. Step 2
Spread the handles apart as quickly as you can manage. This engages the knives, which cut off the horn.
14. Step 3
Make sure the blades are sharp before this procedure. Use anesthesia as well as make sure the emergent is properly restrained.
15. Step 4
Stop the bleeding by either using forceps to pull the artery, or a hot iron.

Yes, it is just that easy to dehorn an emergent.

Original article here


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