April 20, 2011
– Gene Simmons of the Rock Band Kiss holds a copy of Rob Bell’s “Love Wins”
We have the scoop here before any other Discernmentalist blog on the Internet including the great and all powerful Ken Silva. Gene Simmons quote: “If you go back and check all the reviews for all the icons of today — Elvis, the Beatles and so on — they were dismissed as flashes in the pans, this is why I support Rob Bell.” Of course that unregenerate reprobate would support Rob Bell as he also is blind to the Hard Truths of the Bible. Gene is on record as calling himself Dr. Love which is proof he believes Love Wins—-also he thinks he is the god of thunder… Blasphemous!
Question: if God is going to spare everyone, regardless of what they believe or don’t believe, then what does it matter what good we do or don’t do here on Earth? Then we’re going to have a blast in the future-present-pluperfect heaven with Mother Teresa, Hitler, and Gene Simmons. If God’s just going to give everyone a free pass, then there is no substantive reason for us to do anything good here on Earth except to avoid the harmful consequences of sin (an issue that Bell never takes to its Biblical conclusion).
Kiss’ unrepentant heretical Emergent theology:
We must put a stop to this but…
Unfortunately, if you disagree with Bell, you’re “toxic and misguided.”
Criticizing him makes you a “Pharisee,” according to Eugene Peterson.
A commenter on the above-linked page asks the critics, “Why are you so anxious to make sure there are people in hell? The fact that you NEED Bell to be wrong and have people in hell communicates much more about yourself than either Bell or God.”
No Bible-believing Christian wants people in hell, because that isn’t what God wants.
“Do you think, asks the Sovereign Lord, that I like to see wicked people die? Of course not! I only want them to turn from their wicked ways and live.” -Ezekiel 18:23
The reason that we need to be clear about the eternal consequences of denying Christ, which are real and revealed by the Scriptures, is because that’s what is at stake.
Jesus did not die a criminal’s death and rise from the grave so that we could all feel good about ourselves, have a nice life, drive fast cars, and be rich.
Jesus did not become a man so that his sacrifice could save the world from his bipolar father.
Jesus did what he did to save our souls (from the “Real Place” that is Hell).
That is the real story. That is the real truth.
More heretic Emergent theology from Kiss:
April 19, 2011
Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!
Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:
November 27, 2010
We at ODMafia are BLACK FRIDAY ready. Discernmentalists traditionally ignore consumerism, capitalism or anything else that would undermine the America Way of Life….and this is with good reason. A true discernmentalist believes that the American Way of Life is the Christian Way of Life. To say one is to accept the other and vice-versa. That is why we have introduced SAFE-BUY. It is a credit card made by discernmentalists for discernmentalists.
The card, carefully engineered will prevent you from buying purchases that could cause you to become a heretic or a liberal. In the event that you mistakenly try to buy NOOMA DVD’s the card will red-flag this purchase and the cashier will be instructed to slap you in the face. Instead you will be directed to purchase bible-believing DVD’s that help you to fear, worry and fret. In addition, you will learn how misquoting speakers will give you impressions that almost everyone in the church is a heretic, giving you the gnostic impression – you and only you have an side track on all things false.
Moreover, discernmentalist DVD’s will help to shape a cartoon, binary universe that will ensure that only those who say “Bible Believing” are the only ones telling the truth. Remember, discenrmentalist DVD’s don’t use the dodgy marketing techniques that other false ministries use, rather only the biblically righteous methods.
Remember this card is patriotic!
PS this card will provide absolute certainty
July 31, 2010
As an official ODM (Online Discernmentalist Ministry), we worry. In fact we worry a lot. We believe we are surrounded at every corner by emergents and liberals lead by fashionable-spiritual-guru Rob Bell and his unbiblical stories about Jesus being raised from the dead and how that changes everything. We believe Rob’s reference to ‘change’ is irrelevant because we didn’t come up with the video …otherwise it would be way cool and truthful. More importantly we believe you should worry about Rob Bell, and his secret plan to undermine the institutional church. In fact why pray when you can worry?
July 7, 2010
Introducing new science free light bulbs that are powered only by biblical faith. If it does not light up you can pretty much kiss your back end good bye – you lack faith and are likely not fit for heaven. We guarantee that these special light bulbs will NOT work with Roman Catholics, liberals, post-moderns, emergents and Rob Bell. We are confident that true believers (that is us and other online discernmentalist ministries) could light up entire crates of these special bulbs.
Order now and get a pair of free steak knives with every purchase!