Give me that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion!

April 25, 2019

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I the ever-discernmentalizing and mighty I. Todyaso with the self-righteous finger of judgment have made my return after hiding in our underground bunker because of the emergent persecution as recently pointed out by our friend Don Jobson we have faced since one of our co-discernmentalists and mentors the ever Apprising Ken Silva and a few other of our Discermentalist bretheren have fallen in battle in our Truth War.

After many years of  mourning our personal mentor in the ways of our Truth War and much researchmentalizing—it has come to my attention through bible-based osmosis that what the world needs now more than ever is more of that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion.

It saddens me that all those impure in our great doctrines of hate grace didn’t heed our warnings against rampart apostasy. The great falling away is in our midst and I can no longer keep silent. The emergent hordes have brought us to this:

apostasy

Proof of Your Doom

This is why we  had to come back from hiding out in our bunker to point our mighty finger of judgmentalism and laugh at you sinners because we’re saved and you’re not. In fact I think Ken Silva is rolling over in his grave. So remember all we told you. Why…because….

I. Todyaso


NEITHER OBAMA’S NOR TRUMP’S NSA ARE SEVERE ENOUGH…

April 24, 2019

 

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      NSA NOT SEVERE ENOUGH

Written By Ron Jobson (Don Jobson’s “Liberal” Brother) when False President Obama Bin Laden was still occupying the Oval Office

“There are a bunch of people who hate (the) N.S.A.,” says Laura Blakey, (but it follows our Truth War Doctrines)….I think our Christianity offends them.”

I am saddened to learn that Obama is moderately reforming the NSA as I was hoping for a more severe reform as the NSA follows the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Clearly Obama is slipping into the man-worshipping heresy of semi-Pelagian Arminianism by not extending the NSA’s reach into spying on further areas of our lives just as the Pure Doctrine of Calvin proclaims. Thankfully Obama is still regulating us though he isn’t severely over-regulating us enough to reach the excellent quality of the sheer beauty of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. (And as we all know “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.”—Saint Charles Spurgeon and that John Calvin is the father of the theological system known as Calvinism. Praise Geneva and Dort and that John MacArthur (PBUH) is his final Prophet and Pope of our Truth War).:

“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”

Hopefully Obama (now Trump our Sovereign God-willing) will get onto really over-regulating every minute detail of our lives and spying on us in the Biblically-Correct manner of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Maybe then he’ll learn that I supported some Libertarians in the previous elections (sheer heresy) for as we know: “Calvin branded his opponents “Libertines” (the group opposed to Calvin referred to itself as the “Children of Geneva“). He called them “heretics” and “atheists” and employed the powers of the state to suppress them.” (That’s what Libertarians were called back then—also Libertarians sound like that unbiblical and ungodly term libertarian free will). And as the inerrant Romans 13 as well as Calvin’s final Prophet and our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) teaches us that we should obey the Government in all things without question:

“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

Maybe also then I can hopefully be tried for such a treasonous and heretical crime as supporting some Libertines/Libertarians. Maybe I’ll be thrown in prison or exiled from this pre-ordained Christian Nation but those punishments are too good for such a treasonous/heretical act as to question Obama in trying to follow the Pure Doctrine of Calvin with the NSA. It would be better if I were ‘put to death by slow burning at the stake for denouncing the tyranny of Obama and his NSA.’ I preach this Sound Biblical warning to you brethren to heed our Truth War Pope John MacArthur’s (PBUH) Biblically Orthodox Christian command to obey thy Government in all things without question. Or as John Calvin and the NSA would say: ‘we see whoever you sinners are sleeping with/we know when you’re awake/we know if you’ve been bad or good /so be good for meaninglessness’ sake…’

Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:

To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).

 


Wrath=Love!

April 20, 2019

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You dare question our unquestionable Doctrines sinners. We know that Wrath=Love as we’ve already presupposed this to be true (as we got our education from unaccredited colleges unlike you sinners who went to worldly schools; worked hard and actually earned a Real Doctoral Degree*) therefore you too must presuppose it to be true as well. Nevermind the fact that this isn’t found in the New Testament:

“Barth distances himself from classic substitution views, especially those stemming from Anselm. He acknowledges that the concept of punishment is present in Isaiah 53, but denies that it is present in the New Testament (a puzzling assertion, since he has used the term himself just earlier [223]). He then says this:

The decisive thing is not that He has suffered what we ought to have suffered so that we do not have to suffer it, the destruction to which we have fallen victim by our guilt, and therefore the punishment which we deserve. This is true, of course. But it is true only as it derives from the decisive thing that in the suffering and death of Jesus Christ it has come to pass that in His own person He has made an end of us as sinners and therefore of sin itself by going to death as the One who took our place as sinners. In His person He has delivered up us sinners and sin itself to destruction (253).

Earlier on the same page Barth also denies that the concept of satisfying God’s wrath is present in the New Testament. Thus my takeaway is this: Barth affirms a version of PSA, but not propitiation; and for Barth the penal element is peripheral, not central. The main thing for Barth is that Christ deals with our sin itself (and destroys it) by taking our places as the judged. Also, Barth’s version of PSA seems more oriented to Christ’s entire incarnate life, just just his death – this, and his frequent arguments from Christ’s “solidarity” with the world make his version of PSA sounds more compatible with a kind of recapitulation theme, as found in Irenaeus. Thus despite the similarity of language, at a very crucial juncture I think Barth’s doctrine of atonement must be seen as in a quite different category than classic PSA views in the reformed tradition. While I think some of his assertions stand in an ambiguous relationship with Scripture, I do find him an enlivening theological sparring partner, especially on the nature of the incarnation.”

Our Presuppositions are always correct.

*Our official Diploma of Presuppositional Apologetics:

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Elvis Furtick Worship!

October 20, 2011

It grieves me that Todd Friel (Wretched) has caught yet another symptom of those heretical Postmodern Emergents: Pastor Worship. [Praise John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] I mean just look at these idiots [Glory be to Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers)!] here:

Thankfully you will never catch us worshiping men [Thanks be to John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.)!] instead of Christ. I mean just look at any of our Discernmentalist websites with all of their glorious missiveness [May Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers) be pleased!]. Remember these words from Phil Johnson (Hugh Jass) on Spurgeon (the Prince of Preachers): “Today Spurgeon is widely beloved — not only Baptists, but even a man like Thielike! — and yet during his day that was not true. Almost everyone today wants to claim Spurgeon — they think of him as a big theological teddybar and theological neutral and devotional in his preaching.

And also these words from Todd Friel (Wretched) on John MacArthur (P. B. U. H.): “Yes, there are godly, Christ-centered pastors who have very large churches, but they are definitely exceptions to the rule. A few that come to mind are Dr. John MacArthur, RC Sproul, and John Piper. Unfortunately, the average “evangelical” no longer wants solid teaching, so the men who are standing firmly on Scripture are leading small flocks.” Thankfully you have ministries like ours and Todd Friel’s to “expose the truth behind this contemporary, emergent, tolerance, new age, relevance movement going on today.” And to show you “the similarities in the worship of men rather then Christ. How some Church Pastors are being worshiped, just like pop icons are worshiped.”


Love Wins?

March 1, 2011

         

             A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys

                          of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:

Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”

Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.

All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”

P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.

            A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia


Attention Truth Warriors

December 24, 2010

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: ” Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church

 


Most Heretical Places On Earth

December 16, 2010

TOP NEWSPIN– In a recent polling undertaken by Top Discernmentalists, discernmentalists from around the globe have voted on the Most Heretical Places On Earth. In a surprise ruling Canada and California dropped to the 4th and 5th position (respectively) in the poll. Here is the official listing of the Top 5 Most Heretical Places On Earth:

  1. Armenia: full of man-loving Grace-hating semi-Pelagian Mary-worshiping Papal idolatry celebrating Roman Arminianists; a road straight to Rome; none who live here have any hope of salvation; all are unsaved non-Elect reprobates
  2. Montana: the Montanist state nough said! The heretic named Iggy lives here.
  3. Germany: birthplace of Lutheranism; untouched by the Protestant Reformation; spiritually dead*
  4. Canada: or Canuckistan is a communist country; full of drug addicts, pacifists and queers; produces sin-promoting television shows
  5. California: too liberal; clone of Canada; full of fornicators; other reasons 

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*- Further Reading: Truly Reformed; Lutherans not Truly Reformed; Dortian Calvinism Truly Reformed


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