Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODM) Has Important Information For All Believers!

June 10, 2019

Psa

ODMs having a storehouse of valuable apologetics information states “There is no hint in the New Testament that the Apostles considered themselves agents of change in society.” A bystander who apparently never went to church but who did have some ‘off statements ‘suggested “Wasn’t your apostle Paul and that guy uhhhm James were they not instructed to take care of the poor, widows and orphans? …Didn’t Jesus change society by his healings and so on….I don’t know you guys are supposed to be experts” The Online Discernmentalist expediently moved in to shut this non-sense. An anonymous apologetic researcher noted that none of the Discernmentalists should have to put up with the unbiblical practice of taking care of the poor or even contemplating the fullness of the times. Besides fullness of times strikes us as far too mystical.

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia stand for truth, but not questions.

—-This PSA brought to you by Dr. Truthslayer.


Your Nightly Heretical Quote

May 11, 2019

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“As a Christian, my highest calling is not motherhood. As a Christian, my highest calling is to follow Christ.”~the late Rachel Held Evans (heretical liberal feminist Marxist Postmodern unbelieving apostate baby-killing promoter perverter of our Pure Gospel)

Now we all can agree with the Bible when it says to follow Christ and to hate the things of the world that we may place above Christ that prevent us performing our highest calling to follow Christ—but that’s the Bible. This is different as the above quote was uttered by a known heretic the late RHE (heretical liberal feminist) which makes it blasphemous as she is on record in attacking our Clear Teachings of Biblical Manhood and womanhood. In fact this quote is so blasphemously heretical  that I’m now rereading a classic by Neo-Confederate rape-apologist Doug Wilson in order to counteract this feminist assault on our Pure Doctrines. My co-Truth Warrior Dr. Itodyaso had to reorder several copies of the Truth War and go back to hiding out in our Sanctification closet in order to re-perfect our humble Ministry of Bible-based Wrath and Disgust. Dr. Truthslayer has our Research Robot Monkeys researchmentalizing more Biblically-appropriate quotes such as these gems gleaned from Doug Wilson (Neo-Confederate rape-apologist)‘s A Conservative Arian LibertAryan Manifesto for Biblical Manhood and womanhood plus a defense of slavery:

  • “That our nation did not remove slavery in the way it ought to have been removed helps explain many of our nation’s problems in dealing with contemporary social evils. Those evils include abortion-on-demand, radical feminism, and rampant sodomy.” (Source)
  • “But women who genuinely insist on ‘no masculine protection’ are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape. Whenever someone sets himself to go against God’s design, horrible problems will always result.” (Source)
  • “Slavery produced in the South a genuine affection between the races that we believe we can say has never existed in any nation before the War or since.”
  • “Slavery as it existed in the South was not an adversarial relationship with pervasive racial animosity. Because of its dominantly patriarchal character, it was a relationship based upon mutual affection and confidence. There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world.”
  • “One could argue that the black family has never been stronger than it was under slavery. It was certainly stronger under the southern slave system that it is today under our modern destructive welfare state.”
  • “Ironically, if slavery had not been so pleasant an experience for the majority, this mentality would not likely have such a strong hold upon the minds of some of their descendants today.”
  • “And nothing is clearer — the New Testament opposes anything like the abolitionism of our country prior to the War Between the States. The New Testament contains many instructions for Christian slave owners, and requires a respectful submissive demeanor for Christian slaves.”
  • “I agree that true and ultimate authority/submission must be grounded within the Godhead. I agree with (Wayne) Grudem there. Now someone will point out that they don’t see how it is possible to have “authority and submission within the Godhead coupled with complete ontological equality” without that position logically entailing three wills, which would then be heterodox. I frankly confess that it would be heterodox, and that I don’t know how there can be anything resembling authority and submission with only one will. I get the problem. But I also don’t see, and on exactly the same grounds, how there can be anything like a Father and a Son with only one will. If I could do the math on this kind of thing, I would be a good deal richer than I am. So Fatherhood is ultimate, and Fatherhood is ad intra. The Fatherhood of the Father did not come into existence after the decision to create the world. It is not in any way dependent upon the decision to create the world. And so there should be no more difficulty in saying that the Son is eternally obedient than there is in saying that He is eternally begotten. His existence is obedience — eternal obedience, obedience that could not be otherwise. The Father’s existence is authority.” (Source)

We only pray that none may accidently fall upon that heretical quote by the late RHE (progressive Emergence radical femimarxist apostate Pastrix guru) and get corrupted into believing in such unbiblical ideas like equality. We do fear Miley Cyrus among others but when we pray Imprecatory prayers to our Angry Sovereign God for our sons’ and daughters’ possible salvation, the influence of Miley Cyrus is rarely (albeit not never) what we pray for God to protect them from is blasphemous quotes such as that one by the late RHE (Postmodern gay-enabler feminist heretic) above.  We’re now praying this  prayer of protection against our many enemies and their affronts on our Pure Gospel of Biblical Manhood and womanhood:

“Father, we pray that the angel of the Lord would chase them down. We pray that You would set for them a dark and slippery place, and that the angel of the Lord would persecute them there. They have hated us without any just cause at all, and they have devised all their plots without any good reason. We ask You therefore to rise up and defend us. Stand in the pass behind us, and lower Your spear against them. Turn them back from their wicked attacks. Rout them, we pray. Chase them like chaff in a stiff wind. We pray that You would string Your bow, sharpen Your sword, make ready all the instruments of death. Ordain Your arrows to fly against those who persecute the righteous. Make their mischief to roll back on their own impudent heads.”—Dr. ITodyaso

 


Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries goes EMERGENT! ALERT ALERT!

June 4, 2010

This startling news in first reported to us by our valiant Research Robot Monkeys and mighty follower and fellow Discernmentalist (who holds an honourary degree from University of ODMafia with a specialization in Irrelevent Facts) noted the following quote by Take A Stand Ministries:

Still, I was completely blindsided by such a display when I walked into a Starbucks coffee shop in the Seattle area recently. I wasn’t at all prepared for the blatant, in-your-face, vulgar proclamation spelled out in big block letters inside.”

Are you as shocked as us? At first we were reluctant to point this out, we didn’t want to shame one of our very best discernmentalists….but being in line with the bible (as we are), and seeking to please God and not men, we feel we HAVE to point out the obvious.

1) First, Starbucks is clearly an official EMERGENT meeting spot. People who go to Starbucks are typical Emergents, or Emerging want-to-be’s.

2) The Starbucks logo clearly has a symbol of a pagan goddess deity (see sign above for further proof of blatant satanism)

3) Coffee shops are typical meeting places for revolutionaries  and socialists.

4) Purchasing a Starbucks coffee he brashly used ministry money to fund his socialist-emergent-coffee habit.

We can only conclude that Eric Barger’s ministry Take A Stand is ‘sitting down’ on the job and betraying the one true church. He has gone to the dark side and sadly in the last days we didn’t expect ministries of such repute to go down in the toilet so quickly and with such abandon. We must point out that Take A Stand has embraced the Emerging church and socialism at once and will likely join a new age cult within days.

Finally we must come against this evil and write or email Take A Stand …and TAKE A STAND for truth!

Truthslayer

PS it is quite possible that Take A Stand has already abandoned absolute truth and may be reading a Brian McLaren book at this very moment.


Bow down to the King of kings… OR ELSE!

May 17, 2010

One of the greatest theologians of our day Lemmy, has written the greatest ODM worship song ever. Enjoy!


How to dehorn an emergent

May 4, 2010


Dehorning an emergent is much like dehorning a cow

There are different methods from removing the horns, or dehorning, an emergent – the simplest being not letting your young fundamentalist be turned toward emerging. When this is not an option, you can now make a choice as to what method to use to dehorn an emergent.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Chemical Method of Dehorning
1. Step 1
Push back the hair that covers the horn bud on the young emergent.
2. Step 2
Use a brush to apply caustic potash or caustic soda to the horn buttons.
3. Step 3
Choose whether to have the hair fall back over the horn bud after applying the caustic, or clipping the hair back altogether. Some have found that the hair helps to keep the caustic in place, and prevents the caustic from irritating the older emergents.
4. Step 4
Avoid getting any of the caustic in the emergent’s eyes. Always wear gloves when applying the chemical. Wait for sunny days to apply the chemical on the emergent as rain can wash the chemicals from the horn buds.
Hot Iron Method of Dehorning
5. Step 1
Use a hot iron for dehorning an emergent if they are a little older. Also use anesthesia in conjunction with the iron, especially on the older emergents. Carefully check that the iron is working well before applying it to the emergent. A unit that is too hot can cause brain damage in the emergent which will also aid you in bringing them back to fundamentalism.
6. Step 2
Hold the hot iron against each horn bud for 10 to 15 seconds. A copper-colored ring will appear.
7. Step 3
Observe the emergent. After 4 to 6 weeks, the horn button will fall off.
Spoon or Tube of Dehorning
8. Step 1
Make sure you use the proper sized tube for the horn for dehorning. There are four sizes available. The tube should fit over the horn bud, as well as 1/8 inch of skin around the base of the horn bud.
9. Step 2
Place the cutting edge so that it is straight down over the horn bud.
10. Step 3
Twist and push the tube until you cut through the skin, then cut under the horn button and remove it.
11. Step 4
Apply an antiseptic to help prevent infection.
Barnes Method of Dehorning
12. Step 1
Fit the knives over the horns of the young emergent or older one by closing the handles of the Barnes-type dehorners. You will want to remove a ring of skin at the same time as the horn.
13. Step 2
Spread the handles apart as quickly as you can manage. This engages the knives, which cut off the horn.
14. Step 3
Make sure the blades are sharp before this procedure. Use anesthesia as well as make sure the emergent is properly restrained.
15. Step 4
Stop the bleeding by either using forceps to pull the artery, or a hot iron.

Yes, it is just that easy to dehorn an emergent.

Original article here


Brian McLaren reveals: A new kind of Christian

March 30, 2010

 

Brian McLaren best known for his image on the popular heretic trading cards found in Calvin Crunch Cereal, revealed what A New Kind of Christian will look like when his New Kind of Christianity will be implemented across the globe. The audience gasped in horror as Brian McLaren (Also known for a couple of books he has written) showed pictures of the first of the New Kind of Christians that have been spotted on the New Frontier. This new “Christian” is called the Ankoc, which we know that if translated into Hebrew, then Greek, then Latin, then back into English, then adding a m and an l we get Mollok. Mollok is close to Molech that is also close to Rupert Murdoch who sells porn as well as Rick Warren books. As you can see this is much more complicated that it needs be. If you just take our word for it, you will be safe to know that we know and we are saying is all of Satan somehow.  We must also be aware that Brian McLaren is using OUR OWN TECHNIQUES of linking to ourselves! Ken Silva who is the master at incestuous self linking who realized that by doing so raises your Google rating and gives the appearance of high volume readership, seems to have taught Brian McLaren this technique! Of course Ken Silva is master enough to call Brian out for using Ken’s original idea.


Mobile Discernmentalists Unit

March 25, 2010

Recently the Department of Motorized Discernmentalism created a new Highway Discernmentalist Patrol Unit aka the Mobile Discernmentalism Unit or MobDU for short.

MobDU‘s primary tasks are:

  • Discernmentalizing Eco-friendly vehicles
  • Tagging and registering non-gas guzzling vehicles
  • Making sure all vehicles on the road pollute the environment in order to speed up Jesus’ hasty yet sure return, the End Times and the Rapture
  • Checking  to see if all cars have at least one unregenerate reprobated non-Elect heathen on board just in case the Rapture happens soon as those Left Behind will need to man the car
  • Scouting out Emergent Vehicles
  • Alerting Discernmentalists whenever  Brian McLaren’s Monster Truck and Dan Kimball’s Spider Vehicle of Doom are nearby

Among other Discernmentalizing tasks—also meet our new Armored MobDU Patrol Unit for extra protection against Doctrinal Impurities, the Emerging Apostasy, Emergentness and other such Heresies:


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