March 8, 2010
Dr. I. Todyaso underwent Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery earlier today in order to increase our Heresy Hunting efficiency by 300% more than the average rate of other ODMs especially Ken Silva’s Raw Sewage Ministries. If Dr. I. Todyaso’s surgery goes well the rest of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia hope to follow suit bringing our Heresy Hunting accuracy to over 1000%. This new Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will also help in our preaching the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath to all—pictured here:
Discernmentalist after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery threatens an Emergent heretic with the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath and Hell.
We’ll also be able to teach Discernmentalist skills such as Self Righteousness to a wider range audience:
And in the end our army of Discernmentalists after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will be able to bring Doomsday upon all that we deem heretical:
June 7, 2009
Unknown by most Online Discernmentalists (but NOT by our trusty research staff), Brian McLaren ( a secret billionaire) roared into space aboard a Russian rocket (Communist???We think so) on Thursday, making history as the first tourist to make the epic journey. The Communist left-leaning Soyuz TMA-14 spacecraft blasted into the leaden skies from the Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan on schedule at 1149 GMT and is due to dock with the International Space Station (ISS) two days later. McLaren made an announcement to the world that he would now rule the Emergent World from the International Space Station.
The ODMafia has developed a partnership with Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries and has BORROWED his Bible Based Satellite System better know as B.S. We plan to shoot down Mclaren’s rogue attempt at ruling the world and the Emergent Church. We need our readers to send money in support of our bible based initiative to rid the world of the Emergent Church by using lasars specially focused on the International Space Station (ISS). At this point in time the curent lasars are only powerful enough to make a really cool hologram….we need one that is destructive and can blow up the ISS. Please send us cash….we only accept bills in sizes of $100 or larger. If YOU are BIBLE BASED you know in your heart that you must send us this money…..otherwise you may be guilty of being a lover of money and mammon.
We urgently resquest that our readers send cash so that we can rid the world of Brian McLaren before he rules it – DON”T LET THIS HAPPEN!
P.S. The ODMafia regrets the fact that we may in fact have to destroy the 60 billion dollar space station but believes that this will be for the betterment of humanity and all discernmentalism. We hope that this will not deter NASA’s current program to get back to the moon and then onto Mars. We hope that no other astronauts are hurt, harmed or maimed in our endeavour to rid the world of the Emergent Menace.
May 17, 2009
NASA’s Phoenix Lander is has committed itself to finding more samples of Martian dirt for analysis as it can. By complete accident the Phoenix Lander discovered used John MacArthur books entitled “Heresy and the Hendersons” and “Orthodoxy Is Not Always Practiced by Orthodontists“
It is apparent now that other discernment probes will be sent to the RED PLANET for further investigations. Discernmentalists from around the globe are rejoicing that MacArthur’s books have been located on other planets.
NASA is currently perplexed, confused and discombobulated. More news at 11!