May 3, 2019
SMUG ALLDAY Spray for that healthy self-righteous glow! Keeps that smug/arrogant/condescending look on a Dicernmentalist’s face all day. Just one spray guarantees extra protection from wetness that most Baptist diseases are contacted from—also guaranteeing to keep Discernmentalists doctrinally pure in our essential theology. Never lack a reason to argue with and judgmentalize others as you’ll never have to worry about lacking in Absolute Certainty or the Hard Truths that shield all Discernmentalists from Emergent and Catholic errors. SMUG ALLDAY Spray is made from 100% Pure and Essential Biblical Oils and is the perfect product for the Discermentalist Apologist always itching for a debate.
Act now for self-satisfaction guaranteed—still not convinced…take a look at these before and after pics which speak for themselves:
Buy it now to join our self-satisfied consuming SMUG ALLDAY Discernmentalist family!! 100% Discernmentalist guaranteed 100% of the time all day everyday so buy it now or you’re an apostate.
July 7, 2010
Introducing new science free light bulbs that are powered only by biblical faith. If it does not light up you can pretty much kiss your back end good bye – you lack faith and are likely not fit for heaven. We guarantee that these special light bulbs will NOT work with Roman Catholics, liberals, post-moderns, emergents and Rob Bell. We are confident that true believers (that is us and other online discernmentalist ministries) could light up entire crates of these special bulbs.
Order now and get a pair of free steak knives with every purchase!
March 18, 2010
Online Discernmentalists are always striving to be better than thy neighbour… and when we achieve that “betterness,” we like to point out just how good we are against how bad you are. That is why we bring you PUREX- Doctrinal Discernment Soap. It is the soap that is guaranteed to be the very purest for the connoisseur of discernmentalism.
No more fears with this product….
You can feel safe while washing your clothing because it will separate from pagans, non-Christians, liberals, Roman Catholics, Samaritans and emergents. This detergent prevents your clothing from mixing with the unclean! Guaranteed 100% Pure just like our doctrines.
Built in the ODMafia research & discernmentalist labs.
PS for external use only