August 29, 2019
SoL is on the case again when they describe one Ron Heather, a bus driver in England who refused to drive a bus that was emblazoned with atheist slogans. SoL noted “Three cheers and a Slice Salute to Mr. Heather for taking a stand.” We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia also applaud Ron Heather for making Christians everywhere look like morons. Our research robot monkey was on hand to comment “Whenever Christians can protest over non essential drivel or complete stupidly we are fully there to support them!”
Come on people let’s Take A Stand!…
August 2, 2019
Super discernmentalist Paul Proctor notes “Driving across town the other day, I passed by a church that always displays an inspirational message on their sign out front. Such messages are very common these days and often quite thought provoking. The one I saw most recently had me thinking all the way home.
It read: “Churches are hospitals for sinners, not museums for saints.”
“How sad and true, I thought to myself. Churches have become hospitals for sinners, haven’t they? They used to be spiritual fortresses built in enemy territory where soldiers for Christ were recruited, trained and equipped for doing battle against sin and evil in society with open bibles, convicted hearts and committed lives.”
We at ODMafia like the good old days when we could burn heretics at the stake. Or going further back in time, like St. Paul’s Corinthian church (the golden age) where good old fashioned believers had sex with their step moms and they got waisted during communion. Sigh….we wish we could go back to when times were better.
—ODMafia fortified with Our Truth
July 24, 2019
Oh the horror! Recently one of our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Emergents are now hiring psychics in a last ditch effort to undermine the Absolute Truth and Certainty of the Truth Wars. We here at the ODMafia can’t say we didn’t see this coming from a mile away as we know Emerging emergers love their mystical webs of confusion. Emergents also love Mystery over Certainty as well as coffee; candles and couches—but they’ve yet to be observed in the presence of garlic. We also have reason to suspect that these Emerging vampires have merged with Mothra feminists in order to ramp up their newly found psychic abilities in order to assault unsuspecting Truth Warriors in the field of battle for our Truth. Other noted ODMs are now in the midst of battling for our Truth—researchmentalizing new techniques in Spiritual Warfare to curb these assaults.
June 3, 2019
Mark our word. When a ministry says “we are bible believing,” you can believe that they are bible believing. No need to test the waters…especially if they vent against other ministries in the guise of bible ministry. As a matter of fact, if you complain a lot against other ministries it is likely that this ministry is MUCH MORE HOLY and RIGHTEOUS than other ministries who SHOULD fall in line and get with the program. Simply put, if you say “we are bible believing” it gives you license to attack other ministries with unfounded license.
That is why Take A Stand Ministries is just a simple bible believing ministry who has the entire bible untangled and figured out. If you want bible believing certainty, and all that non-sensical post-modern, new-age liberal mystery and wonder jettisoned from scripture….this is a ministry that you should embrace.
ODMafia approved—-Truthslayer endorsed