Breaking: Rick Warren Reemerges with Purpose… Seeker-Driven Machine!

June 2, 2019

seekers

Rick Warren’s new Seeker-Driven All Purpose Machine of Doom

Truth War Digest- An Old Enemy Reemerges with a New Threat:

Recently our Rick Warren Threat level alarms were alerted to a new sinister Purpose-Driven Seeker plot by the sinfully-ecumenical purposeful pope of all things seeker-driven-ness against our Clear Teachings that life just like the church must be as purposeless and terrible as possible. Just listen to this hideously apostate and heretical quote: “Through his Word, God helps you to see life through a different perspective. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path” (NIV). God’s Word gives us direction in life; it shows us the path God wants us on.”—Rick Warren

Elsewhere Todd Friel (Wretched) [who only wishes he were half the discernmentalist as we are—otherwise he would have detected Warren’s new hideously apostate Seeker-Driven Purpose machine before we did] has discernmentalized:

Friel highlights comments made by Warren in a conversation between him and the Orange County Bishop Kevin Vann which he says were way too ‘ecumenical’ and lacked distinction between the two strands of the Christian faith.

“The Roman Catholic Church has led so many people away from truth,” says Friel. “We committed to pray for each other,” said Warren about his growing friendship with the Bishop. “I’m sorry, I wouldn’t ask a Roman Catholic to pray for me,” responds Friel. “Those prayers are not being heard especially if they are offered to a saint or to Mary.”

We know God doesn’t listen to the prayers of anyone unless they believe in our Doctrine first and that none of our Godly ministries have purposes nor are they seeker-driven. This is why we must call all our Truth Warriors to unite around our Doctrine and help us take a stand and put down and submerge Rick Warren’s new threat of a sinisterly sinfully-ecumenical (against our Clear Teachings against such) seeker-driven machine of purpose.


Discerning the world (DTW) advancing STRETCH TECHNOLOGY

May 20, 2019

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Thankfully, our fellow discernmentalists Discerning The World are applying STRETCH tech to the world of discernmentalism. In case you are wondering STRETCH stands for   Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomania.

Here is what DTW found out about Rob Bell:

“Rob BellThe Story We’re Telling:    sin, salvation, business, art, justice and the importance of beginning in the beginning”

Indeed, very subversive stuff. Story telling,sin and even a THREAT to go back to the beginning. So what is so dark about….THE BEGINNING?

Using STRETCH… this is the sinister plot that was EXPOSED….remember STRETCH accurately interprets EVERYTHING! So here is the STRETCH interpretation as follows (will original spelling errors included):

” [DTW note: they are saying that you have got to go back to the beginning, go back to where ancient knowledge originately from, where sacret arts originationed from in order to move forward. How far do we have to go back? To the very beginning, of course. We, each individual person, needs to eat from the tree of life in order to gain knowledge.

Genesis 3:4-5   4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!   5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”] ”

Insightful for sure!

Discernmentalist groups like us like to zone in on the negative.We like to find the worst, believe the least, and expect to find a sinister plot behind every bush or milk crate. We fully support this.  This is indeed an excellent application of ascertaining truth.

However we do have some questions………………………………..

Beginning Now…..lets look at the “BEGINNING
Ge 1:1 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

1) All knowledge and ALL things (visible and invisable) would begin with and from God’s creation. Very dark indeed.  Truth coming from God himself…how dare Him!

Ps 111:10 –   The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

2) Hmmmm. Could Rob perhaps be alluding to the beginning in reference to wisdom? Perhaps, but in good discernmentalist fashion DTW does not provide context. Only DTW ‘wisdom.’ Of course we endorse this kind of expert discernmentalism…out of context wisdom.

Pr 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

3) This is astounding. Fools despise wisdom. Not us… we love DTW  ‘wisdom. ‘ Proverbs also suggests that the FEAR (REVERENCE) of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.  Hmmm. Something must be wrong with this verse because DTW suggests that we must reference satan as the beginning.

Recently we heard DTW were revising their STRETCH TECH as they’ve found even newer applications of it.

We at ODMAFA would like to put an offer in on this newly revised version of STRETCH TECHNOLOGY. This is obviously a MUCH needed technology that would alleviate us from having to think rationally, read our bibles, or depend on our robot research monkeys. If anyone out there can put us in touch with DTW, or contact DTW so that we can get a bargain deal on new STRETCH we’d appreciate it!

Truthslayer stretching the Truth with Action

PS Just remember that SATAN according to Discernmentalist Tradition is at the beginning….not God, or wisdom.


Pointing device…new aid to truth warriors

April 25, 2019

pointThe ODMafia announces that a top secret research & design campaign in conjunction with numerous other truth warriors and discernmentalists (Secret Order of ODM) have created THE ELECTRONIC HAND…with programmable pointing finger!

The formally super secret  HAND is designed to point fingers at speeds that nearly break the sound barrier. In addition this specially gifted electronic hand can dial Grace to You Ministries directly with 32K onboard memory that allows it to store strings of phone numbers of up to ten characters in length (yes you read this right!) in case of seeing an Emergent and/or Social  Justice promoter!

Pointing out false Christians has never been easier!

ODMafia approved—Truthslayer endorsed for all your Judgmentalist finger-pointing needs.


Fox News Controlled By Marxists

April 16, 2019

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Dear OD Mafia,

Lately I’m concerned that Fox News has  been failing to report our delusions the Real Truth.©™ What can I do if there’s no Safe Space away from the liberal hordes, Cultural Marxism and political correctness left  to confirm our biases Reality©™? Where can I turn to for Fake Real News©™? Whom can I turn to? Whom can I trust??

Sincerely,

I. R. DeLoo Ted

P. S. All countries who are not Muslim should expel them … France, Germany, U. S., etc.

Dear DeLoo Ted,

I’ll tell you who you can turn to and trust. We promise to be #1 in Alt-Facts and Fake Real News©™ as Trump is our disciple. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that Fox News too has fallen under the spell of evil Cultural Marxist puppet master George Soros who controls all the Media©™–and that is why:

“Fox has been trying to cover it up from the beginning. They cut off all of the priests midsentence and wouldn’t even listen to what they have to say. There is the issue that liberals believe all problems can be solved through increasing tolerance, diversity, and inclusivity. So if it is those doctrines which are actually inflaming our problem and they are completely blind to it, they will attempt to hide anything that may even mildly indicate that this liberal belief system is killing us.”—Joe Roberts

You can be sure of one thing Fox News will report what George Soros tells the Big Government to tell them to report and the way Big Brother tells them to report the news. So Fox News like all News in the USA is 100% controlled by the Government and the filthy Rich few who own the Media©™. So you can be sure of this, What the News Media©™ Says can say they are sure about what they are told to say. —————————————————–But it is my opinion those Filthy Rich People who control the News©™ are trying to keep the truth hidden so the People of France do not start a Civil War against the Islamic Invaders of their Nation.

Trust Only In Us For Your Alt-Factual Fake True Newsworthy Alt-Media©™ reporting Needs,

Drs. Don Jobson; I. Todyaso and Truthslayer

P.S. Let the Free Market decide the TRUE NEWS©™.

 

 

 

 

 

 


ODM Research and Design comes clean on new eaves dropping device

July 5, 2010

ODMS across North America have spent an awful lot of money to come up with new and innovate ways to eaves drop on the Emerging Church. The new SPY LOCUST 1000 is designed to be small, nimble and obtrusiveness…..weighing in at only 16 pounds, and measure 18 inches by 4 inches… it can be barely seen by emergents too busy watching Rob Bell videos and combing their trendy hair (ie like Dan Kimball).

ODMafia research robot monkeys conducted several interviews. One ODM suggested that this was a dawn of a new age (but not in a new agey way), that would usher in listening devices to catch emergents red handed sitting on couches sipping fair trade gourmet coffee. Another suggested that the Spy Locust 1000 could be linked to other locusts thereby swarming and driving emergents out of the city where their doctrines of anti-modernism would lesson the chance of overcoming the status quo.

The Spy Locust 1000 can sniff out one emergent in a group of 10,000 people, decide who is in and out of the true church and do this all 1,000 times a second (thus Spy Locust 1000). This series can also detect whether you have listened to Brian McLaren or NT Wright and will ear piercing sirens upon a positive search.

Truthslayer


Emergent’s plan new plan

June 16, 2010

In an unexpected turn of events the Emerging Church is secretly merging back into Evnagelicalism using stealth morph technology originally used by Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries to spy on Emergents. In a recent interview, our research robot monkeys disguised as penguins interviewed a man that looked like Dan Kimball. He was reported to state the following “My secret subversive plan has been unfolding during the last ten years. Soon I will rise from the fringes (no direct reference to Dan’s fringe leather jacket), and declare myself pope mega-pastor of the evangelical world and usurp John MacArthur’s position as ultimate truth enforcer.” Our research robot monkeys were in utter shock and before Dan could execute this final, evil, emerging-horde plan began to pummel him with all the research robot monkey fisticuffs they could muster. Dan raised a false-Jesus-bobble head to ward off attack. Just like those emergents to do such a thing!!!

Word has it that Dan  (obviously having dark supernatural powers) still plans to dismantle 10,000 emerging churches and reassemble them without notice in evangelical churches (ie like the movie Transformer). We also believe that Dan may be an illegal immigrant….who slipped in from Canada.

We are scared.

Truthslayer (note that during the attack our robots de-cloaked to reveal their true monkey nature – not to be mixed up with evolution)

PS Special thanks to Andrew Moir who designed this especially effective ninja robot. Without this robot no one would have been able to pummel Dan Kimball biblically


Phone introduced for your safety!

June 9, 2010

Now more than ever….you can keep your personal phone sin free thru the ODM designed heresy free phone. This phone is so sensitive that it can pick up potential heresy seconds before spoken and bleep out offensive word, belief or tone. This incredible phone has three settings: A) ODM Conservative B) ODM Biblical C) ODM Paranoia (for extra biblical safety).

Each of these safe zone settings will protect you and your discernmentalist family from potential threats. In other words, you will never have to deal with other points of view, opinions or statements that you cannot (or will not) entertain. Your world view, understanding of scripture will be left how you like it – disconnnected from history, (which is vertually useless anyway) the community of Christ (which is already tainted and heretical) and disjointed from reality. We believe that this approach is the BEST and FINEST for remaining pure and untainted by this world – when everyone is OUT TO GET YOU PERSONALLY.

Therefore without further exposition I Truthslayer highly recommend this phone.


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