Pulpit calls Truce with ODMafia!

May 15, 2019

Breaking: While you were sleeping peacefully last night safe and protected by our Sound Doctrines in your warm beds—late last night ODMafia spies broke into Planned Pulpithood’s bunker and forced them to agree to a ceasefire of firing their missives at us and agree to ODMafia’s peace terms. However Pulpit promises to let the ODMafia continue subtly firing off our weapons of Massive destruction at them since the ODMafia helped crack the secret code of one of Pulpit’s enemies because our discernmentalism is of higher quality than anyone else’s.

Dr. Truthslayer utilizing Eric Barger’s Smocking Gun Technology on our Research Robot Monkeys once again has totally demolished Servus Christi with only one screencap rather than two by slicing letters and rearranging them until we were apprised of their secret meaning:

3

That’s how much better at discernmentalism we are than anyone else—we exposed Servus Christi’s ties to the heretical Servetus before anyone else. On a related note we have reason to suspect Servus Christi as the one who made up the sinisterly globalist quasi-universalist sinfully-ecumenical quote exposing them in one of our latest Massives.


Dear fans of ODmafia

June 28, 2010

Dear fans of ODmafia,

You know my pedigree. I was born via wedded bible believing Republican parents, and  was baptized as an adult believer. Moreover, I am a true bible believing double predestination Calvinist who listens to John MacArthur on the radio every morning, Todd Friel in the afternoon, and Apprising and Eric Barger in the evenings. I’m a strict adherent to God’s word, particularly ignoring the beatitudes which are reserved only for liberals and emergents….I’m so devout that I go on persecution binges to tease out those false teachers and heretics – pretty much everyone except those whom I approve of. As you know I’m meticulous about my observance of the word and therefore I more than anyone else take a true stand in defending the  truth and discernmentalism. Please join me in Taking A Stand.

Remember, never doubt me. Never question my articles or missives. They are right because I am right and have crystal clear discernmentalist qualities. Doubt me and you should doubt your faith, and secretly harbouring liberal viewpoints.

Truthslayer


Select-cam continues to discern

April 26, 2010

As previously mentioned Discerning The World Ministries (DTW) is using SELECT-CAM (officially DTWPIC) to discernmentalize the emerging menace Rob Bell. Just like husbands and wives with selective hearing….DTW has selective(but never never a biased) discernment regarding a host of people and movements.

Here is what DTW found out about Rob Bell (using the select-cam):

“Rob BellThe Story We’re Telling:    sin, salvation, business, art, justice and the importance of beginning in the beginning”

” [DTW note: they are saying that you have got to go back to the beginning, go back to where ancient knowledge originately from, where sacret arts originationed from in order to move forward. How far do we have to go back? To the very beginning, of course. We, each individual person, needs to eat from the tree of life in order to gain knowledge.

Genesis 3:4-5   4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!   5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”] ”

Insightful for sure!

Beginning Now…..lets look at the “BEGINNING
Ge 1:1 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

1) All knowledge and ALL things (visible and invisible) would BEGIN with and from God’s creation. Very dark indeed.  Truth coming from God himself…how dare Him!

Ps 111:10 –   The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

2) Hmmmm. Could Rob perhaps be alluding to the beginning in reference to wisdom? Perhaps, but in good discernmentalist fashion DTW does not provide context. Only DTW ‘wisdom.’ Of course we endorse this kind of expert discernmentalism…out of context wisdom.

Pr 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

3) This is astounding. Fools despise wisdom. Not us… we love DTW  ‘wisdom. ‘ Proverbs also suggests that the FEAR (REVERENCE) of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.  Hmmm. Something must be wrong with this verse because DTW suggests that we must reference satan as the beginning.

We applaud DTWs findings and suggest that every discernmentalist invest in the new select-cam!

PS Typically DTW uses STRETCH tech which stands for   Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomania. Select-Cam will likely be used in conjunction with DTWs older and still reliable technology of yesteryear.

Also we have the RIGHT to make spelling mistakes, and determine that wrong spelling is right.


DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER!

March 28, 2010

Do you like to twist words to alter their meaning and discredit others?

Us too!

Then you will surely enjoy DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER! Fun for the whole discernment focused family.

Make the bible focus on everyone else’s faults but your own! Twist verses to mean something they don’t. Find out how you can make Rob Bell, Jim Wallis or NT Wright say something they haven’t. With this game, you will be twisting, altering, and changing meanings at will (right before your eyes). Before you know it, all context will be dissolved and left in the trash bin…and you will be well on your way to emulating true discernmentalism.

You will get your money back if by the end of one game you cannot misquote or take somebody out of context!

Truthslayer endorsed, ODMafia approved.

PS Guaranteed fun for the whole family, you will twisting and distorting everything that comes your way!


Dr. I. Todyaso Undergoes Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery

March 8, 2010

Dr. I. Todyaso underwent Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery earlier today in order to increase our Heresy Hunting efficiency by 300% more than the average rate of other ODMs especially Ken Silva’s Raw Sewage Ministries. If Dr. I. Todyaso’s surgery goes well the rest of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia hope to follow suit bringing our Heresy Hunting accuracy to over 1000%. This new Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will also help in our preaching the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath to all—pictured here:

Discernmentalist after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery threatens an Emergent heretic with the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath and Hell.

We’ll also be able to teach Discernmentalist skills such as Self Righteousness to a wider range audience:

And in the end our army of Discernmentalists after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will be able to bring Doomsday upon all that we deem heretical:


Discernmentalist vortex found!

February 18, 2010

Everyone is aware our research robot monkeys have skills. They have observation skills, research skills, internet skills, social skills, discernmentalist skills and more. They are programmed with the best skill technology available for the 21st Century. It has come to our attention thru a secret discernmentalist observation tower that discernmentalists can actually be caught in what is called a “Discernmentalist Vortex.”

The Discernmentalist Vortex is a fluid rapidly spinning web of non-sense based on half-truths, misinformation and urban legends that spins out of control. Soon other Discernentalists pick up the same “spin/story” and begin propagating that story as truth. Truth for discernmentalists does not depend on reality, but hear-say, truncated quotes, fear mongering which is misconstrued as the absolute truth (usually buttressed by heavy weighted opinions and cherry picking bible verses). Any attempt at objectivity, balance or careful thought is rejected for the true knowledge of osmosis and presumption.

We always suspected that this vortex existed…it was just a matter of time in finding it” said iTodyaso. Don Jobson nodded with much approval. ODMafia had various mathematical models that suggested that this vortex existed, it was simply a matter of time to prove its absolute certainty.

Truthslayer

PS Remember what George Costanza of Seinfeld once said “…its not a lie if you believe it!”


Discernmentalists dilutes target for greenhouse emissions cut

February 4, 2010

Washington (Reuters) – Online Discernmentalist Ministries have trimmed its goals for cutting hot-air gases (spewing from overzealous rhetoric) and made clear it will follow the U.S. lead on fighting climate change, a move that prompted fresh criticism from green groups.

Bob Nestor of GREEN AMERICA stated “Too many discernmentalists continue to spew hot air and they do not give any thought to the environment.” Greenpeace spokesman weighed in suggesting “Discernmentalists are the number one cause of planet warming. Methane from cows is no contest next to these hot air spouters.”

ODMs across North America and South Africa claimed personal attacks and decided that they would take a stand, fighting back with more hot air and long winded articles. One ODM denounced the pronouncements and suggested that they were being intentionally undermined by liberals who are taking over the world using hypnotherapy generated through  scented candles. Tinfoil hats will be distributed to true believers by next Wed.

Truthslayer


If it wasn’t for ODMafa Research and Design where would we be?

December 23, 2009

ODMafia continues to excel with regards to all things technological….and the truth – of course! We can expect no less than 101% absolute bible certainty when it comes to truth. Despite the fact that many Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODMs) have developed a myriad of discernment tools, we often provide the seed money, and technological expertise for such things as Discerning the World’s STRETCH TECHNOLOGY, and ERIC BARGER’S TAKE A STAND’S BIBLE BASED SATELLITE SYSTEM (BS). Even our household inventions (see above) protect our valiant readers from untruth, anti-truth and the like.

If it wasn’t for ODMafa R & D where would we be?

Dr. Truthslayer


New tech reviews truth warrior brain power

November 10, 2009

scientist

It has been readily admitted that discernmentalist thinking  (aka truth warriors) is unique among the world. It has been admitted by a number of truth warriors such as DonJobson ” It is because of our ability to read minds, and dissect truth unlike other ‘normal’ apologists. We can see when they ‘think liberal’….” ITodyaso, CEO of ODMafia weighing in suggested “we think differently because we are a special gift to humanity. When you know it all, you want to share it all.”

Other truth warriors elaborated on all of our unique thinking abilities….

1) If John MacArthur states 2+2=5 (ie because of his expertise in biblical math) whereas John Armstrong declares it to be 4 (ie not using Biblical math)….Armstrong is obviously wrong. Even IF the answer flies in the face of logic, or the fact that the Bible does not teach math. MacArthur is by his nature correct, because he is a truth warrior…Armstrong is ‘soft’ on Post-modernism,  liberals and the Emerging Church and therefore if follows that MacArthur MUST be right on all things.

2) If Dan Kimball says “Jesus is Lord” he really means “a false new-age, post-modern, man-made-Jesus-is-Lord” because no emerging church member can be saved. Only right-wing-republican-conservative-Christians who support war can actually be saved.

3) When Rob Bell is declared an Emergent by numerous discernmentalists….he is therefore Emergent. If Rob and Mars Hill denies the claim it is because he is lying. All Emergents are liars….and they seek to deceive the masses and generally take over the world.

4) Shane Claiborne wears natural fibers….he is therefore not saved.

Remember, we at ODMafia set the standard.


Ad Hominem Communications this fall!

October 13, 2009

adLearn the ways of a Master Discernmentalist! Coming this fall we are offering a very instructive new diploma Ad Hominem Communications. You get the best of a university and college degree in this fantastic new course. We will offer Ad Hominem Communications theory (ie abstractly working out ways to personally attack opponents). Moreover we will provide “hands-on” college level applications. You will be required to apply this verbally and in written form. For instance, you will endeavour to apply the art 0f  erroneous logic; linking a person with some form of faulty logic and therefore to condemn them rightfully as a heretic or false teacher. Moreover, we offer a bonus “Guilt by Association” seminar for free to complement the skills of this very prestigious communications course. Please keep in mind we are proposing a specialization in Guilt By Association B.A. in the coming year….that is far more indepth for the aspiring discernmentalist.

Here are some actual examples we will explore and employ in real world circumstances….

* “You can’t believe Bob when he says he trusts in Jesus. He hangs out with Emergents.”

* ” John is not saved. He once agreed with Rob Bell’s book “Velvet Elvis”

If you have not signed up, please do. iTodyaso and I (Truthslayer) will be instructors, providing you with years of discernmentalist instructional advice. Will Farel XV will be a guest lecturer and advisor on this very instructive course.

Rest assured this course is Truthslayer endorsed!


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