The Silva Bullet!

April 27, 2019

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Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET.  A Aperising Pictures  Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker.  Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.

Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!” 

Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now  there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:

  • Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
  • Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
  • WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.

Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.

This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.


Pastorboy aka (He who shall not be named) confirms Outlaw Preachers are having “church”!

September 26, 2011

Pastorboy aka (He who shall not be named) confirms Outlaw Preachers are having “church”! Yes, the beloved ODMafia discernmentalist graduate Pastorboy stated on his Twitter account this:

Now, the bible is clear that woman are to keep quiet in church and not teach, preach, or speak until they get home, take off their shoes, fix their husbands a meal, and then (and ONLY then) can ask questions about the preaching they did not understand. We know woman are truly dullards only good for cooking in the kitchen and sexing in the bedroom so it is easy to understand why a woman would get confused about a sermon. Now, what Pastorboy confirmed was that the Outlaw Preachers were having… church and not a conference! We know of not one example of a woman doing anything good in the bible as far as teaching and the denomination Pastorboy is in would never ordain a woman let alone let her be an evangelist or influence the Christian Missionary Alliance in ANY way!

Now, the only issue is that if the Outlaw Preachers are having church, it is possible that Pastorboy may also be committing heresy by stating that the Outlaw Preachers may be brothers and sisters in Christ.


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