Pro-Life News Agency: Churches Essential for Spreading Baby-killing Virus

May 18, 2020

I want to be honest and direct, mainly toward Pastors and Church Leaders in America. We need a sincere heart-check, a “coming to Jesus” meeting of sorts. I understand that many will not appreciate what I’m about to say, even some that know me personally, but I’m ok with that. I’m here because as a Body of Christ, people are dying and it’s time to speak out!

If you’re a Pastor or Church Leader who will not open up your church building (because of “Covid-19” mandates and executive orders that supersede Constitutional boundaries) then you need to equally share in the deaths of those citizens who will and are perishing–who might have otherwise survived if given the chance to seek help or shelter at a local church.

These individuals who will die from suicide, drug overdose, murder, family violence, child or elderly neglect or abuse, alcoholism, hunger, etc., deaths that could have been prevented if given the chance to walk into a church and simply talk with a pastor or counselor face-to-face. The Church is a hospital, not a country-club and we’re seeing so many “leaders” within the Body of Christ who simply ‘babble like a sheep instead of Roar like a Lion’.

As a Body Of Christ, we obey governing authorities (Romans 13) and in America, our Government is the Declaration Of Independence, found within the Bill Of Rights. We follow and obey that Constitutional Government of law as Believers. We do not follow any official who abuses their authority and orders citizens to follow unlawful mandates that aren’t even legislated.

It’s an oppression like we’ve never seen in our lifetime and yet many pastors are following them. Sadly the health crisis has turned political and to a point where American’s rights and freedoms are being trampled on and why you’re watching thousands protest around the country.

We as Believers, especially in America, must become pro-active and at the least, open up our doors to our hurting communities and deal with the unlawful ramifications later on if need be. Like so many doctors have told us that the death tolls of keeping locked down will supersede those who die from the corona virus, which at this point is low anyway. 0.1% nationwide, respectfully.

Everyday a Church decides to keep their doors closed and locked up because of unconstitutional overreach from some local and state officials, people die and suffer, while as a Body Of Christ—as Americans…we lose more liberties and it’s happening in real time.

I live in Texas and our own Governor, Greg Abbott changed his executive order to make all places of Worship, ‘essential’, allowing Churches to “open up” so their communities could get back to helping others who are suffering. This was a month ago and yet, many Texas churches remain closed. Shame on us! Having on-line church still keeps many isolated and depressed. We’ve been given the green legal light to open up our doors but many continue the lock down.

I’m only one voice, I can’t do this on my own—it takes the entire body to make things move. “An eye can’t say to the hand…”

Suicides and other deaths that are potentially avoidable by the Church intervening are not virtual, they’re real. Thank God for those American Churches who are moving forward within their legal rights as Americans, opening up their places of Worship while following health and safety guidelines to make sure everyone is safe as possible when they enter their Church building.

In closing, I’m thinking of Mother Teresa who always worked hands-on with the infected and sick everyday, exposing herself and staff to potential illness herself, and yet, she never locked her doors to those who were dying or in need—so to those American Pastors and Church Leaders who remain closed (online doesn’t count) when under our laws you can be open (and safely)—don’t you think It’s time to “overturn some tables”? Again stop the ‘babbling and ROAR!’ (Dr. Itodyaso’s commentary Mr. BertAryan’s argument was strong until he slid into the Emergenty slippery-slope of thinking of Catholics. We who know the real Truth of the Truth War know that no Catholick is saved as they’re not Christians.. What’s next will Mr. BertAryan chant New Age contemplaitive nonsense.)

-An Op Ed by LeeBertAryan

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Rob Bell outed for ‘nearly pelagian quasi-universalism’…

April 18, 2020

Our team of fearless researchers began research on the topic  of “nearly pelagian quasi-univephonyrsalism” We  at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia like the idea of tainting others with “isms’ that sound dangerous, and labels that we do not understand. Therefore our team of keen truthers will continue to accuse and take anything out of context to support and further our side. Truth matters, especially Online Discernmentalist Truth. Afterall, discernmentalists realize that truth must prevail…even if it is based on distortions and fabrications.

It does not matter how the truth wars are won….just as long as we are on the winning side.

Truthslayer—are we Winning yet?


Former Beagles, Slice of Laodicea, John MacArthur unite for charity

April 13, 2020

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Former Beagles members, Slice of Laodicea and John MacArthur wowed Radio City Music Hall, discerning together for the first time in seven years with a star-studded backup research group, at a benefit to introduce children to Discernmental meditation.

The former Discernmentalists accused three people of heresy while together, they also broke out in song including such hits as “I Saw Her Sinning There,” “Magical Discernmentalist Tour”, “All you need is absolute truth,” while Apprising Ministries, Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries, Red Pen and Herescope provided reseachmentalist accompaniment.

Truthslayer reports


Seafood Restaurants compromising our True Biblical American Values!

December 20, 2019

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Getting back to Chick-Fil-A—lest we forget as my esteemed colleague and ever-Discernmentalizing co-Truth-Warrior in the truthiness of John MacArthur’s Truth War (PBUI) Dr. Pastor-Teacher I. Todyaso has reminded me that there are other restaurants among us compromising our Discernmentalist values. We mustn’t stop with just our campaign to re-sanctify and re-Christianize chicken restaurants when unbiblical seafood restaurants are allowed to exist. If these restaurants continue to align with dark forces that go against our Doctrines and compromise their stand by caving in to bullies—we Discernmentalist Christians will stop supporting them and they will die out. That’s why:

We must rally all our fellow Discernmentalists and Truth Warriors to bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join us in the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.

Our American Gospel from the Discernmentalist Bible is Clear:

We’ve even heard unbiblical seafood leads to all kinds of evil including having ties to the Mafia—so much evil that lobsters have even wrecked empires. Shrimp have been implicated in various scandals over the years.

Noted Sintologist Franklin Graham adds: “If unbiblical seafood restaurants recommit to biblical Discernmentalist values, refuse donations from the Mob, and clarify their stances on child slavery and Traditional biblical seafood, we believe much of this will heal and these seafood restaurants will be back in business and their current base of support will continue. If these seafood restaurants don’t, then we’re afraid what Mike Huckabee said will stand true: “Most seafood restaurants have made a Big Mistake!”

Update: Unbiblical seafood exporters tied to coercion; slavery and mass homicide:

The labourers come from Thailand’s much poorer neighbours Myanmar and Cambodia. Brokers illegally charge them fees to get jobs, trapping them into working on fishing vessels and at ports, mills and seafood farms in Thailand to pay back more money than they can ever earn.

“Sometimes, the net is too heavy and workers get pulled into the water and just disappear. When someone dies, he gets thrown into the water,” one Burmese worker told the non-profit organization Verité commissioned by Nestle.

“I have been working on this boat for 10 years. I have no savings. I am barely surviving,” said another. “Life is very difficult here.”

Update #2: Unbiblical seafood restaurant implicated in drug trafficking.

Update #3: Unbiblical seafood industry caught- Feds: Shrimp boat smuggled illegal immigrants into America.

 


Using Jesus as our Weapon (Reloaded)!

November 27, 2019

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Jesus don’t backpedal, HE don’t play, and HE ain’t politically correct. Just don’t use Jesus as a non-politically correct weapon against our political doctrines like capitalism and guns as only we Truth Warriors have the divine call to tear a new hole in others. We know that we’re right because we’re RIGHT just like the Bible says as we knew our Discernmentalist teachers “disciplined” the left-handed students in our classes with a cane and forced them to write with their right hand. That was in the mid-sixties. We were told the reason was because writing with the left hand was a sign of the devil. When I grew up I learned that measure of “discipline” was administered because in holy scripture it says that Jesus sits at the right hand of God. Get it? Because Jesus sits at God’s right hand everything having to do with the left must therefore obviously be of the devil.

The world can all go out and support immorality for teenagers and adults, Christ will not. He is the same yesterday, today and forever – He doesn’t change except when we changed Him to support our Republican agenda; America First; guns and warmongering; etc. For as we always have taught that Jesus is our weapon, we can use Him to abuse those who we deem less deserving of God’s grace than we are and that He hates leftists or anyone suspected of leftism or even appearing and sounding leftist most of all. So, we encourage all those who follow the Online Disernmentalist Mafia Creed to go forth in joy knowing you are doing the will of our Doctrine and Our God.

Sola Scriptura!

Don Jobson inspired by I. Todyaso


New Adherence (to) Truth Organization (NATO) says hit Koreans in Yemen over U.S. ties

November 25, 2019

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Discernmentalist News Networks note: DUBAI (Reuters) – After Discernmentalists organized themselves into New Adherence (to) Truth Organization (NATO) ….NATO’s wing in Yemen said it carried out the suicide attack that killed heretics this month in retaliation for their country’s ties to the U.S.-led “heretic awareness week,” according to an Internet message.

South Korea, which once had the third-largest contingent of Discernmentalist soldiers in Iraq, withdrew all of them last December. On Friday, a Korean newspaper quoted a top government official as saying Seoul had decided to send about 1,000 mainly truth-engineering troops to Afghanistan in response to an unofficial U.S. request.

New Adherence (to) Truth Organization (NATO) promises to continue to use a typical American approach to worldly affairs: extrapolate the realities of our country (America) to the whole world.


Chick-Fil-A loses It’s Soul!: Compromises American Bible Values?

November 18, 2019

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Discernmentalists are angry now that ChickFil-A promises to only be halfway anti-gay.  We here at the Mafia are mad too as we only like our chicken made by 100% anti-gay establishments. However we’re ok with 100% pro-murder; pro-adultery; pro-theft; pro-lying; etc chicken restaurants. American pagan Jesus weeps.

What this is—is a total erosion and a compromise on Discernmentalist America’s Biblical values from a company who has proudly stood behind Discernmentalist convictions for years. What a slap in our face! Everyone knows that chicken tastes better when its made with hate rather than love.

We miss the good ole days and our values being in the forefront… Back when we could threaten anyone who wasn’t 100% American enough like when pastors received death threats or threats of church arson not for following the way of Jesus with grace and love but for removing the American flag from front and center in our sanctuaries:

Such conciliatory gestures did not assuage hyper-patriots bent on rooting out disloyalty. War hysteria gave the nativists the opportunity to even the score. In some locales, anti-Dutch sentiment boiled over into mob action. Ministers found burning crosses on the parsonage lawn and farmers lost barns to the torch. In the vicinity of Pella, Iowa in 1918, several Christian schools were set afire in what became known as the “Hollander Fires.” Supporters managed to extinguish the flames at the Sully Christian School, leaving only minor damage, but the Peoria Christian School and adjacent Christian Reformed Church burned to the ground. In nearby New Sharon, the Reformed Church was set ablaze and the pastor, Edward Huibregtse, found dynamite under the parsonage that had failed to explode because of a defective fuse.2

Events in Peoria took an ugly turn in May 1918 when a young thug brutally beat James Hietbrink, the Christian school principal, as he walked home from the village general store. The flash points, apparently, were decisions not to unfurl the American flag over the school, buy war bonds, or sign food pledges. The school was bursting at the seams, due to the high birthrate among the Dutch, while four nearby public schools were “almost without pupils” and three “will shortly be closed.” Birthrates among the Ameri-cans were as low as among Dutch they were high. Follow-ing the attack, the school board immediately suspended classes, and county authorities or-dered the school to remain closed. Some weeks later, state education officials rescinded the order as illegal and allowed the school to reopen.

Dutch leaders saw the troubles rooted in “old and deep-rooted jealousy caused by the prosperity of the Holland-Americans.” Dutch farmers around New Sharon received threatening letters in the mail to “leave or be burned out.” American farmers, it was reported, hired thugs to set fires for $50 or $100 per “job.” The big barns of two farmers, G. Vos and an unidentified church elder, who had two sons serving in the army, were burned down one night.

Ah those were the days… back when America was truly Christian and Christians were truly great patriots Christians…. so Make America Great Again by letting Chick-Fil-A 100% gay hate again!

P. S. It was never about the short lines; deliciousness of it’s food; ethics; competitive prices; etc—it was always about hating whoever we hate as our Discernmentalist Gospels read: “We hate because Jesus first hate our many enemies first.”


All new season of Loosed

November 6, 2019

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An all new season of our favourite characters from LOOSED are back. Just as a recap several truth warriors survive a plane crash on a mysterious island. Each is vying for the truth, too establish themselves as the ultimate truth warrior by prooving who is the most orthodox.  Could the Reformed Intelligensia Initiative be behind this insidiousness?

When several truth warriors are set LOOSE in the wilds of a remote island…what is the worst that can happen?

Stay tuned this season for all new episodes of….

LOOSED.


Introducing our all new Discernmentalist Decoder Rings!

November 3, 2019

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ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!

Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:

Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.

Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.

“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”

“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”

You get the picture.

You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…

Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!

 

ODMafia Endorsed

 

 


ODMafia Evaluating Christianity blog

November 2, 2019

scalesEvaluating Christianity (EC) states

I think it’s reasonable to hold someone who is representing himself to the world as an expert to the standards one would expect from such experts. Such standards include, at minimum, that if one reads someone else’s research and draws conclusions not present in the original article, you should (1) contact the original author to get his views; (2) represent that author’s views of your conclusions fairly in making your own argument; and (3) submit your argument to a scientific journal for review by other professional academic peers within the respective scientific community.”

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

First, we hope that EC means everyone but ODMafia….we get our information by osmosis…books are too time consuming…and research…all that thinking and evaluating. We prefer the Abomination Nation approach of just getting ” bare bones facts”….without the thinking.

Second, if you expect integrity from ODMs, we are above that, or beneath it…or whichever…we’re not sure.

Third, we are in the business of distorting the views of others, not detailing them with accuracy and honesty. We’re not sure who this is aimed at…but we’re sure getting darn steamed!!!! We’re about the truth…the absolute truth….what does integrity have to do with proper research when it is our duty (no wait ministry) to  safeguard truth which is weak, feeble and in need of our protection?

A word to Evaluating Christianity blog….if you need to evaluate Christianity…look no further than the absolute beacon of truthiness –THE ODMAFIA. We believe haughtiness, pride and arrogance is our first line of defense against so called investigators and thinkers. We are the special ops of truth, the line backers if you will to safe-guard the gospel, the truth and all things absolute.

Remember….there is no side but ours and our opinion…which is always decidedly the truth…which of course may look relative to you (when we change our minds due to something inconvenient – like the truth)…but never to us…because we like the word ‘absolute.’ Not sure if that makes sense, but it does to us because thinking comes easy to ODMafia…but we feel sorry for the rest of you who have to wade through this sturdy well thought out defence we call apologetics….especially if you can’t think as fast and as sharp as we can.


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