How To Spot A Grace-Hating Anabaptist Heretic In Your Church

July 10, 2010

Typical Anabaptists/Baptists minus the pitchforks, horns and tails. Photo of an actual Baptist Cult Coven Church service taking place just before they immerse new converts in foul smelling waters after walking down the aisle to the Altar to “make a decision to ask Christ Satan into their hearts;” then drink the blood of the dead as well  as steal other peoples’ money to give to the poor. Evilness—sheer evilness! Photo courtesy of Satan.

Finally we’ve nailed that idiot and a farce of a wannabe heretic and fake Christian, Ben Currin aka TheoPoet in the midst of supporting heresy:

Clearly these individuals are deluded not only that they are “unregenerate unsaved reprobates” not to be fellowshipped with as they aren’t even “Real Christians” like us as our Pure Doctrines attest:

“The Anabaptists (Baptists) are only mentioned by name twice, but…they had revived all the ancient heresies about the Holy Trinity and the Person of Christ…. Many of them were Pelagians…. Others claimed that, being regenerate, they were unable to commit sin…. Some depreciated all Scripture and placed themselves above even the Moral Law…. Some denied any need of ordination for Ministers, and claimed that the efficacy of all ministrations depended on the personal holiness of the Minister…. Infant baptism was denied…. All church discipline was repudiated…. Many held strange views about the descent into hell, the nature of the resurrection — and the future life, the ultimate salvation of all men, and millenarianism….. The authority of the State was impugned, and communism demanded.”

We know this is exactly what that idiot False Convert TheoPoet teaches and that he is secretly a “sectarian landmarkist” who hates our Pure Doctrines just look at the description of his apostate Blog:

“TheoPoetic Musings: RANDOM THEOLOGICAL THOUGHTS FROM AN ECUMENICAL POSTMODERN RADICAL REFORMED ARMINIAN NEO-ORTHODOX BARTHIAN MODERATE PROGRESSIVE TO LIBERAL BAPTIST PERSPECTIVE (OH AND SOME POETRY AND LYRICS,TOO) “—if that doesn’t smack of Pure Evil and divisive sectarianism then you must be “spiritually blind” and of the devil as well. Anyone who calls themself a Baptist, an Anabaptist or both or even says anything slighty positive about these “obstinate pig-dogs” should have their very salvation called into question. We Know that Spurgeon (a TrulyReformed Baptist Landmarkist Calvinist Christian) never had anything positive to say about Baptists nor Anabaptists as he believed and taught nothing but our Pure Doctrines. Anyone who is an Anabapist/Baptist is by default wrong as only We have the right to claim True Theology and True Church History:

P. S. Remember anyone who doesn’t bow down before our Pure Doctrines are the divisive ones not us. 

P. P. S. This article is 1000% Ken Silva-approved.


ODM Research and Design comes clean on new eaves dropping device

July 5, 2010

ODMS across North America have spent an awful lot of money to come up with new and innovate ways to eaves drop on the Emerging Church. The new SPY LOCUST 1000 is designed to be small, nimble and obtrusiveness…..weighing in at only 16 pounds, and measure 18 inches by 4 inches… it can be barely seen by emergents too busy watching Rob Bell videos and combing their trendy hair (ie like Dan Kimball).

ODMafia research robot monkeys conducted several interviews. One ODM suggested that this was a dawn of a new age (but not in a new agey way), that would usher in listening devices to catch emergents red handed sitting on couches sipping fair trade gourmet coffee. Another suggested that the Spy Locust 1000 could be linked to other locusts thereby swarming and driving emergents out of the city where their doctrines of anti-modernism would lesson the chance of overcoming the status quo.

The Spy Locust 1000 can sniff out one emergent in a group of 10,000 people, decide who is in and out of the true church and do this all 1,000 times a second (thus Spy Locust 1000). This series can also detect whether you have listened to Brian McLaren or NT Wright and will ear piercing sirens upon a positive search.

Truthslayer


Dear fans of ODmafia

June 28, 2010

Dear fans of ODmafia,

You know my pedigree. I was born via wedded bible believing Republican parents, and  was baptized as an adult believer. Moreover, I am a true bible believing double predestination Calvinist who listens to John MacArthur on the radio every morning, Todd Friel in the afternoon, and Apprising and Eric Barger in the evenings. I’m a strict adherent to God’s word, particularly ignoring the beatitudes which are reserved only for liberals and emergents….I’m so devout that I go on persecution binges to tease out those false teachers and heretics – pretty much everyone except those whom I approve of. As you know I’m meticulous about my observance of the word and therefore I more than anyone else take a true stand in defending the  truth and discernmentalism. Please join me in Taking A Stand.

Remember, never doubt me. Never question my articles or missives. They are right because I am right and have crystal clear discernmentalist qualities. Doubt me and you should doubt your faith, and secretly harbouring liberal viewpoints.

Truthslayer


Hex in the City

June 27, 2010

In  this made for discernmentalist TV show “Hex in the City” features witches that are pursued by mighty truth warriors trained exclusively on Walter Martin cassette tapes. Each week these witches are found, exposed for their lack of truth and then condemned. Think if this as groundhog day for truth warriors. However, each episode approaches these vile witches from various angles – but nevertheless they are also condemned (each week) in creative ways as well….

Catch it this fall on CBS!

Truthslayer approved!


Battle Axe, not just a game, a way of life.

June 24, 2010

There is never enough time to bludgeon heretics. Unfortunately, there is not enough time in a day to judge all false of their worldliness. But when we don’t have time to judge, point fingers and cry heresy there is a game to afford in advancing our discernmentalist skills. That is why ODMafia, in conjunction with ODM Games and Judgmental Pointing Devices has come up with a new game: BATTLE AXE.

Battle Axe, while fun for the whole ODM Family (TM), is at heart an educational discernmentalist game. First, you develop skills of speaking loudly but not listening. Second, you must follow this up by being very argumentative. Third and finally only then you must hone skills to attack, ravage, defame, and ostracize your opponent ….all the while allowing you to further increase your false accusations and skillfully articulate your verbal abusive acuity. Indeed, the experts in this game are able to cloak gossip & slander in the guise and claims of mighty righteousness and  ministry. If you get that far in this game and equally disparage your opponent… you have won the game and are ready for real life discernmentalism.

Truthslayer endorsed…of course!

PS Other games available include Never Sorry! Discernmentalist Twister, Build a Pharisee, and Theocapitalist Monopoly and Wac-Emergent,


Phone introduced for your safety!

June 9, 2010

Now more than ever….you can keep your personal phone sin free thru the ODM designed heresy free phone. This phone is so sensitive that it can pick up potential heresy seconds before spoken and bleep out offensive word, belief or tone. This incredible phone has three settings: A) ODM Conservative B) ODM Biblical C) ODM Paranoia (for extra biblical safety).

Each of these safe zone settings will protect you and your discernmentalist family from potential threats. In other words, you will never have to deal with other points of view, opinions or statements that you cannot (or will not) entertain. Your world view, understanding of scripture will be left how you like it – disconnnected from history, (which is vertually useless anyway) the community of Christ (which is already tainted and heretical) and disjointed from reality. We believe that this approach is the BEST and FINEST for remaining pure and untainted by this world – when everyone is OUT TO GET YOU PERSONALLY.

Therefore without further exposition I Truthslayer highly recommend this phone.


PROJECT DUMBO! revealled….

June 7, 2010

Our Research Robot Monkeys have discovered that a consortium of Online Discernment Ministries have devised a new listening device to eaves drop in on the emerging church: PROJECT DUMBO. There are reports that an authentic Dan Kimball sermon has been intercepted, and the following statements have been deduced “Then this is a day of independence for all the Munchkins and their descendants!” “come here my little pretty” and “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” We cannot substantiate these quotes nor do we need to verify them due to the ODM code of misconduct. Fact checking is not our style (plus its unbiblical)….but can only note that the quotes must be true if an ODM quoted them.

NSA has also expressed interest in this device.

Truthslayer


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