ODMafia is proud to announce new certificate!

November 10, 2019

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The University of ODMafia is now offering the following certificate of learning with the following: Certificate of Specializing In Non-Essentials. This intense 6 week course will help you to argue over things that are not important (but make them central to your Christian walk) such as:

1) Disliking and picking fights with people who like Rob Bell

2) Disparaging anyone who likes any of Obama’s political ideas (Emphasis will be on guilt by association for any Evangelicals who have been asked to pray, or talk with the President)

3) Finding fault with every page of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Drivel Church

4) Attacking Rick Warren for his emphasis on Pauline apologetics (see Acts 17) when addressing the Muslims instead of zealous preaching of the Online Discernmentalist Gospel

5) Finding problems and issues with the Emerging Church (EC), even things that one would commonly agree with…but because they were from the EC it MUST be rejected and attacked.

You will find that this course will strengthen your ability and expertise as a Discernmentalist.


All new season of Loosed

November 6, 2019

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An all new season of our favourite characters from LOOSED are back. Just as a recap several truth warriors survive a plane crash on a mysterious island. Each is vying for the truth, too establish themselves as the ultimate truth warrior by prooving who is the most orthodox.  Could the Reformed Intelligensia Initiative be behind this insidiousness?

When several truth warriors are set LOOSE in the wilds of a remote island…what is the worst that can happen?

Stay tuned this season for all new episodes of….

LOOSED.


Introducing our all new Discernmentalist Decoder Rings!

November 3, 2019

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ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!

Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:

Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.

Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.

“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”

“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”

You get the picture.

You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…

Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!

 

ODMafia Endorsed

 

 


Take A Stand Ministries demonstrates “Truth Stretching….”

November 1, 2019

Every truth warrior knows that the first casualty in war is the truth. Of course the first casualty in a truth war to protect the truth is the truth. In order to protect the truth we need to spin, doctor, alter, change the truth because as all truth warriors know….truth falters, it is weak, and cannot defend itself on its own terms. We need to define truth at all times as absolute, and certain. We need platonic dualism (Driven by his desire to find an absolute certainty on which to base the search for knowledge) to defend truth. That is why Take A Stand Ministries is a master at truth stretching….actually this is quote similar to Discerning The Worlds “STRETCH TECHNOLOGY.” Nevertheless, ODMafia is fully behind this sort of discernmentalism.

Truthslayer….safeguarding the truth by spinning missives.


“Da-cirnamentalist Code” follow-up due in December

October 30, 2019

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NEW YORK (Reuters) – Author Dan Brown’s follow-up to his global hit “Da-cirnamentalist Code” will be released in the United States, Britain and Canada on December 15 and is titled “The Lost Research,” publisher Random House said on Monday. In this new installment hillbillies with bad French accents set out on a mission to solve the skills of discernmentalism…. probably the most complex mental gymnastics known to mankind.

As far as ODMafia is concerned NO ONE will truly understand the expertise of us discernmentalists….what we know is in the vault.

Da-cirnamentalist Code” has sold more than 70 million copies since its 2003 release and topped best-seller lists worldwide, outraging the Vatican and some Catholics because of the fictional story lines about the Emerging Church and the Catholic Church.

Five million copies of “The Lost Research,” which again features the fictional, mystery-solving Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon, will be printed — the largest first print run in the history of Random House. Now with a featured film version included with every book.

 

This book/film combo is ODMafia backed—Truthslayer and Don Jobson endorsed


John MacArthur gets honourary award!

September 3, 2019

We are proud to present Pope Dr. John MacArthur (PBUH) with the honourary award for discernmentalizing Rick Warren’s very evil book “Purpose Driven Life.” We too are against any Christian who wants to purposely follow Jesus.

We realize that there is no true gospel that explains the way John MacArthur (PBUH) thinks it should be explained.

We also realize that the true gospel must be explained in english…the only gospel approved language allowed for and by discernmentalists.

We realize that every book written by a TRUE Christian must fully explain the gospel…even if the book is about science, politics, economics, sanctification or eating a Kraft Dinner meal.

We realize that every book written by a Christian must be submitted for John MacArthur’s approval (PBUI). In fact all our blogging has been approved by John himself before being printed here on the ODMafia blog (just like Phil Johnson and his Mighty Pyromaniacs blog).

Finally, we acknowledge that the gospel is about a formula like E=MC­²….and should have complete mathematical balance.

Remember…. this is a battle for truth….after all this is a truthwar.  And because we support a modern gospel every detail must be perfect. Exactly explained, in every nuance.

Truthslayer, if I don’t say it….its not true.


The Good Old Days of the Christian Church

August 2, 2019

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Super discernmentalist Paul Proctor notes “Driving across town the other day, I passed by a church that always displays an inspirational message on their sign out front. Such messages are very common these days and often quite thought provoking. The one I saw most recently had me thinking all the way home.

It read: “Churches are hospitals for sinners, not museums for saints.”

“How sad and true, I thought to myself. Churches have become hospitals for sinners, haven’t they? They used to be spiritual fortresses built in enemy territory where soldiers for Christ were recruited, trained and equipped for doing battle against sin and evil in society with open bibles, convicted hearts and committed lives.”

We at ODMafia like the good old days when we could burn heretics at the stake. Or going further back in time, like St. Paul’s Corinthian church (the golden age) where good old fashioned believers had sex with their step  moms and they got waisted during communion. Sigh….we wish we could go back to when times were better.

—ODMafia fortified with Our Truth


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