I believe I am correct on this – there are two branches to the Presbyterian church. There is the segment that follows Christ, and there is the segment which wants to cater to homosexuals. Kind of like, if you don’t want to follow Christ, we’ll let you play Christian until you meet Christ.
Sources? We have no need of sources but
Calvin’s Holy Institutes our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Holy Study the Bible.
“Moreover, that it is most solemnly and strictly commanded that we must be baptized or we cannot be saved…” —Martin Luther
Contrary to the Founding Father of the Protestant Reformation Martin Luther who understood that baptism is NOT the cause of our salvation but that God chose to save through baptism. Salvation is given in baptism, though not because of faith. God is the cause of our salvation, it is not man’s faith or baptism on its own.
We are glad that our baptisms are as meaningless and purposeless as our lives are suppose to be as truly baptism doesn’t save. We are thankful that God has gifted us in this last generation of the End Times with the Greatest Living Teacher of the True Word of God—our very own Protestant Pope of The Truth War—John MacArthur (PBUH) who has come around to correct through Sola Scriptura the Protestant Reformation’s fore-father Martin Luther—the very founder of Sola Scriptura himself 500 years after the fact. Quote:
Faith and repentance are not easy. Submission contradicts the natural disposition of the human heart. And the transforming and sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit is often uncomfortable and difficult.
Salvation would be so much more inviting and enticing to our human understanding if it didn’t require humility, repentance, and the transformation of your entire being. Why can’t it simply be the product of a one-time activity?
For those looking to bypass the difficulty and discomfort of salvation, 1 Peter 3:21 seemingly provides a shortcut in the form of this simple declaration: “Baptism now saves you.” This and a select few other verses are often used to promote “baptismal regeneration”–the view that teaches that one is saved (regenerated) though water baptism. …This interpretation is not true to the facts of Scripture. Throughout the book of Acts, forgiveness is linked to repentance, not baptism.
Introducing the newest show on Discernmentalist networks: Discenmentalist Apprentice starring our Most Biblical and Godly President ever Donald J. Trump as he preaches the Gospel of the Total Depravity of everyone but himself and discernmentalists. All while searching for America’s Next Top Discernmentalists. Who better for the role than the only man to pass the Way of the Master’s Are You A Good Person? test with flying colors
(other than Jesus): “I like to be good. I don’t like to have to ask for forgiveness. And I am good. I don’t do a lot of things that are bad. I try to do nothing that is bad.”— our Messiah President Donald J. Trump.
Tyrone Hoofendorfer would be proud as—just like President Donald J. Trump—Hoofendorfer’s Law of Discernmentalism states:
Paul Haggis says his reason for leaving the church is their support of Prop. 8. That would be one of the very few reasons I support this church. Homosexuals and homosexuality need to go back in the closet. They should NOT be proud of themselves. Homosexuality is a reprehensible sin. A lot of you will complain and call me names. I don’t care. I KNOW that YOU are the sinners, NOT ME!!!”
In fact we know that President Donald J. Trump is among us sinless Elect!
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – There is talk that an unnamed Supermodel, TV presenter and Discernmentalist is pregnant with thought.
Seal confirmed the rumors from the stage of a concert on Thursday in New York’s Radio City Hall, telling the audience; “the unnamed discernmentalist is full of recycled ideas and more outrage than 2008!…we expect more anger, more resentment and more bitterness than ever before”
We are hoping for more “Are you a good person?” converts to meet our epithet quotas. We expect the unnamed discernmentalist to explode with epithets in the last quarter of 2019!
Signed an unnamed Discernmentalist
The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.
Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:
If we don’t want our churches turning into prayer-halls to shrubs and plants; if we don’t want our children crafting idols out of creation, then we need to make sure that our Bible Colleges have suitable gardeners who are using the right tools. There is only one seed God gives, that is his word as found in the explanations and study notes of John MacArthur’s Study Bible (PBUI). There is only one seed which produces life, that is bearing mental assent to the Gospel of Calvinistic Soteriology perfectly articulated and accurately proclaimed fully in all of it’s illustrious and glorious points as professed and ascribed by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH).
Besides that the only idol worthy of our church sanctuaries is the American flag—Sola Gloria to our military might! We should daily be confessing our sins of lapsed Patriotism by tearfully placing our hands upon our hearts and pledging allegiance to our Holy Flag—and mightily thanking our soldiers for
invading other people’s countries and defending our freedom to worship.
Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.
Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.