Sources? We have no need of sources but
Calvin’s Holy Institutes our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Holy Study the Bible.
Sources? We have no need of sources but
Calvin’s Holy Institutes our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Holy Study the Bible.
We are proud to present Pope Dr. John MacArthur (PBUH) with the honourary award for discernmentalizing Rick Warren’s very evil book “Purpose Driven Life.” We too are against any Christian who wants to purposely follow Jesus.
We realize that there is no true gospel that explains the way John MacArthur (PBUH) thinks it should be explained.
We also realize that the true gospel must be explained in english…the only gospel approved language allowed for and by discernmentalists.
We realize that every book written by a TRUE Christian must fully explain the gospel…even if the book is about science, politics, economics, sanctification or eating a Kraft Dinner meal.
We realize that every book written by a Christian must be submitted for John MacArthur’s approval (PBUI). In fact all our blogging has been approved by John himself before being printed here on the ODMafia blog (just like Phil Johnson and his Mighty Pyromaniacs blog).
Finally, we acknowledge that the gospel is about a formula like E=MC²….and should have complete mathematical balance.
Remember…. this is a battle for truth….after all this is a truthwar. And because we support a modern gospel every detail must be perfect. Exactly explained, in every nuance.
Truthslayer, if I don’t say it….its not true.
Use these easy steps to find out if your church fully supports John MacArthur and his Truth War©®™ or not: We here believe that in order to be a Truly ODM-approved Church, your church must support the Truth Wars 100%—and to be extra-biblical in defending Truth go to “church three times a week.” Of course, we’re also all about the rules. Rules, Rules, Rules—you can’t have a True Truth War without a list of rules to follow as Truth requires discipline and self-righteousness. You may be fit for a Truth War/ODM Church if you take part in any of the following things, activities or beliefs:
The Christian school you attended was connected to your church/cult, or you were home-schooled. Your church was committed to the “Doctrine of Separation” and strong discipline. You believed Billy Graham was the “bad guy” and that all other churches and religious organizations were disobedient and in “sin.” Your church also controlled nearly every aspect of your life. Your family may have even needed to get permission from the pastor before going on vacation (if you dared leaving in the first place). If you are female (heaven forbid), you most likely wore long skirts and the IFB ODM-Approved modest clothing item known as “culottes” most of your life whenever you went in public (you even went swimming in them).
You may already be in a Truth War-supporting Church if you or your pastor is either for or against any of the following points:
1. “Bus Ministry”
3. Gospel tracts
4. King James Onlyism
5. “The Bible says, ‘Touch Not God’s Anointed’ and that means ME!”
6. “Pants on women is sinful!”
7. “Christian Contemporary worship music is demonic!”
8. “Rock music played backwards tells you to kill your parents!”
9. “Going to the cinema is a sin!”
10. “Billy Graham has done more damage to the cause of Christ than any other man alive! He’s a heretic!”
11. Screaming, ranting, and raving pastors
12. Hellfire and brimstone sermons
13. You used to enjoy reading the book, “Me, Obey Him?” and thought the points made about wifely obedience were spot on.
14. “Women are to be in submission and obedient to their husbands at all times!”
15. “Women are to keep silent in the church.”
16. “A woman’s proper place is pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.”
17. “I don’t care if she says she was beaten and molested. She’s just BITTER!”
18. “Well, good, godly men get accused falsely of molestation all the time now-a-days by people who hate what they stand for.”
19. “I don’t care if she was 15 and he was 50, she was well known for wearing provocative clothing. And how do we really know who is telling the truth”?
20. “Black people have the ‘mark of Cain’.”
21. “What do you mean we’re racist? We just ban interracial dating/marriage and use the Bible as our proof text to do so. That’s not ‘racism,’ that’s the BIBLE!”
22. “Any counseling by a professional psychologist is of the devil! I don’t care if they claim to be a Christian. If they are licensed and not a part of our group, they are not godly counselors. They are secular humanists ready and waiting to accuse every good man of doing something wrong. They want to see the destruction of the true church!”
23. You walked the church aisle approximately 15 times to become “born again, again.”
24. You spent tens of thousands of dollars for a college degree that means nothing in your professional field, but you console yourself with the idea that you walked away knowing how to make your bed, take out the trash, hang up your clothes, wear sharp suits and talk a good game.
25. You were beaten bloody, but your “will was never broken.” As a matter of fact, your “will” is stronger now than it ever was and you’re happy about it.
26. Tent/revival meetings
27. The prohibition of dancing (It’s carnal, you know!)
28. Your parents inscripted Bible verses in the wooden “rod” they used to beat you with.
29. Annoying choirs, and special music
30. That darn organ…
31. Alter Calls
32. Tithing…”If you aren’t giving 10% of your income to the church, you’re stealing from the LORD!”
33. The Sinner’s Prayer
34. Street Preaching
35. Protests/picketing with signs that urged people to repent.
36. “College is so much more than getting a degree for a professional career. College is about experiences and learning discipline and training, and who better to train you than us”?
37. “No good Christian needs to learn about things like psychology and feminism! Those are devilish movements!”
38. “We don’t need the governments approval (but, shh, don’t tell anyone in the group that we’re taking their money!).”
39. “Santa is really Satan in disguise!”
40. “Halloween is Lucifer’s day!”
41. “Old Church Hymns only!”
42. “The King James Bible is the perfect, inspired, literal, inerrant word ‘a God, and there isn’t a single translational mistake in it.”
43. “If you aren’t in a King James Bible-believing, Independent Fundamentalist Truly Reformed Calvinist Presbyterian Baptist Church, you are on your way to hell.”
44. You attended what you thought was a University, then realized you got a bogus degree and were shocked to learn that it was nothing more than the “Jones’ Family For Profit Business.”
45. You have an unaccredited “college” degree, which means nothing in the “real world.”
46. “And who cares if the rest of the world goes to college to get a professional/usable degree? If the rest of the world jumped off a bridge, would you want to do that too”?
47. Large families/no birth control
48. Phony Ph.D.s
49. “If you’re gay…get out of here! We don’t want ‘your kind’ around our kids!”
50. Your father/family member has an honorary doctorate from the college/university or institution he works for.
51. Lowest salaries in the US for employees in the IFB. As a matter of fact, now that you think about it, the employees in the IFB make less than the missionaries to Africa that you are currently supporting.
52. Being told, “You’re just bitter” and “not right with God” when you leave.
53. Getting ostracized by your family and friends for leaving the group.
54. You were a guy/girl beaten mercilessly in an unlicensed group home.
55. You ran away from one of these group homes.
56. You were one of the girls sent to a group home for “rebellion,” but all you really wanted was to simply wear a pair of pants.
57. No mixed swimming.
59. Chick Tracts
60. Patch the Pirate
61. Character Sketches
62.”Steve Green is a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
63. Patriarchy…keep that woman in her place!
64. You could make four times less than you are making now, while doing four times the work if you decided to go back.
65. You had nightmares as a child from the overused “Left Behind” videos in your church.
66. Dating parlors and super slides (while wearing culottes).
67. and much, much more!
68. You may also fit into the group well if you once attended or were reared/trained under materials available through:
- Bob Jones University (Greenville, SC)
Pensacola Christian College (Pensacola, FL)
Hyles-Anderson College (Hammond, IN)
Advanced Training Institute-Bill Gothard
Creation Research Institute
The Wilds Christian Camp
The Bill Rice Ranch
The Roloff Homes
No Greater Joy
69. Your spiritual gurus at one time in your life were most likely:
- Bob Jones Jr.
Bob Jones III
John R. Rice
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
Stephen l. Anderson
or any other man who received a phony doctorate from one of the “colleges/universities” in the IFB.
70. Your Christian school or homeschool curriculum was from:
- Bob Jones Press
Abeka Books (Pensacola Christian College)
Advanced Training Institute (Bill Gothard)
School of Tomorrow (ACE)
71. Independent Fundamental Baptist Girls and Boys Group Homes:
- Anchor Character Training Center (Iowa)
Calvary Boys Ranch, Boarding Academy (Oklahoma)
Haven of Hope Girls Academy (Maryland)
Happiness Hill Home (Texas)
Heritage Boys Academy (Florida)
Hephzibah House (Indiana)
Joshua Scott Boarding School (West Virginia)
Jubilee Home for Ladies (Texas)
Lighthouse Children’s Home (Missouri)
Marvelous Grace Girls Academy (Alabama)
Reclamation Ranch (Alabama)
Shenandoah Boys Ranch (Tennessee)
Shenandoah Girls Haven (Tennessee)
Shining Light School for Boys (North Carolina)
Victorious Valley Homes (South Carolina)
William Seth Rochester Home for Children (South Carolina)
Willow Valley Boarding Academy and Camp (Ohio)
The Ark Youth Shelther (South Carolina)
New Bethany Boys Home (Alabama)
Discernmentalists need quotes. That is a given. We also love to selectively quote….because good selection means selling good products. Our product happens to be our disdain, dismay, and disparaging remarks against other people we don’t like. The object of this game is to change the meaning of anything and everything to mislead your readers and to persuade them to realize that the person you are bashing is worthy of bashing. Like us, you will get LIFE out of attacking and belittling others and crown this as discernment ministry It makes us feel more spiritual, and that others MUST measure up against us.
We like to misquote often to show how wrong others are….and therefore how RIGHT we are. Take for instance this quote, and read it CAREFULLY, because it is chocked full of Rick Warren evilness….
“Rick Warren agreed to pray at the Presidential Inauguration. That immediately made him a left-wing liberal heretic. Well, it made him a WORSE left-wing liberal heretic than he had been before). Obviously everyone in his church was headed for hell because Warren chose to pray for the godless liberal President Obama. Rick Warren is not only a left-wing liberal heretic secret Muslim sympathizer, he’s also a supporter of gay marriage, and maybe even a closet homosexual! “
As you can see, we have included all the important buzzwords from a secondary source (never a primary source), carefully selecting a few sentences before tying them together as one cohesive thought. The important thing here is to make the author of said quote to mean something different than its original meaning. DO NOT try to understand the intent of the quote, simply alter, and rearrange the meaning….remember this is NOT dishonest if you believe that his/her theology is ad odds with your pure bible believing teachings. Of course this is a small lesson learned, and if you continue with our short concise ODMafia School of Discernmentalism you too will be a master discernmentalist.
Don’t be afraid there are MANY people to disparage.
Please refer to “Lesson Plan #5: Labeling others as Liberals” before continuing to Lesson #6.
The University of ODMafa excels at being irrelevant to the unbiblical Chrisitian mainstream, but always relevant to true bible believers. By making an argument that includes redundant facts, information that has no connection whatsoever to reality can have its advantage; it confuses people who are against the absolute truth. We believe that by padding our research with information that is not pertinent, or applicable to the argument at hand we think it helps to throw the enemies off. When we mean enemies, we mean the Anglican Church, Church of the Nazarene Emergents, regular Emergent apostates, Arminians, Wesleyans, Roman Catholics (which goes without saying), anyone to who contemplates the bible (ie contemplatives), and people who have read, or endorse any Rob Bell books or feed the poor (in which case they could be communists).
For instance, was Rob Bell once sited with the Dalai Lama? If so that makes Rob a Buddhist. Did Rick Warren pray at Obama’s inauguration? That makes Warren a Democrat and it must mean he fully endorses everything he stands for. Of course the connections could be relevant, but we know that for discernmentalists all connections no matter how minor are brought front and center… and made the focal point of discussion and emphasis.
We believe that this tool of Irrelevancy is so important. We encourage you to enroll in our program today and learn how to throw off the enemies by including non-sense, hearsay, and hogwash to your argument. Confusion and chaos are excellent tools protecting the truth! Besides, I’ll be teaching this course and have learned from the very best discernmentalists!
Earn a certificate today!