Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

May 17, 2011

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.


Another attack on mighty truth warriors.

June 19, 2010

Fellow discernmentalists….we are under attack (AGAIN!!!!!) Our research robot monkeys found the following quote to prove that our mighty ministries are being undermined:

Jesus’ parable of the Pharisee and the publican (aka tax collector) is something that many of us cling to. This world is lousy with Pharisees (particularly as described in this parable) and the advent of the blogosphere just gave them a bigger bully pulpit and a louder megaphone. Trying to disabuse readers of some of their silliness — more specifically, trying to help others avoid the pain brought to me by the Pharisees in my own life — is one of the primary reasons that I write.”

Emphasis here on calling TRUTH WARRIORS PHARISEES (evidence #1) and therefore this attacker of truth will WRITE/BLOG (evidence #2).Moreover, the lies continue with accusatory remarks of “sillyness” and references to us being a “bully pulpit ” (evidence #3). We may be called bullies because you are too weak to stand for the truth…but we….WE are are not bullies. We are simply bold in the truth and you are too weak kneed and spineless to Take A Stand. This  blogger obviously did not learn true apologetics from Walter Martin Cassette Tapes.

I cannot stand these ingrates attacking Online Discernment Ministerial truth. It just makes me sick to my stomach to listen to such venom.

Therefore I am calling all true discernmentalists together for the mother (not Mary mother of Jesus) of all true wars.

Truthslayer

PS this notorious attacker of truth also suggested that truth warriors like us should try humility. That is subversive talk to shut us up. Its another way of warping the bible to keep bullies for truth quiet. We won’t stand for it.


Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The First

June 2, 2010

 

We are proud to present to you a moment from Discernmentalist Revised History uncut and uncensored: This is a tale about the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus and how they revolted against the Big  Bad Government and the Big Name who stood against them and opposed them. The cast of characters include: a bunch of peasants (the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus), the Holy Roman Emperor (Big Brother) and the Big Name who stood with Big Brother against the Original Tea Partiers 4 Jesus—that Big Name of course is Martin Luther (evil Neo-Marxist Red-Letter Christian prototype).

Our tale is a tale of sadness and woe; torture and families; the rich and the poor; the old and young; of death and taxes. Our tale begins in 1524 when the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) who were fed up with being heavily taxed decided to rebel (but not in a Romans 13-denying way as Romans 13 doesn’t apply to the rebellions of Conservative Bible-Believers only Liberals and Theologians who lied to Hitler to protect Jews even John MacArthur told us so) against the Holy Roman Emperor (the Big Bad Evil Socialist Government).

At first Martin Luther (our anti-hero and anti-Reagan of this story) agreed that the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) deserved a break from their taxes especially those who were extremely wealthy by Medieval standards (meaning they privately owned at least one cow)—so all the Peasants (Tea Partiers 4 Jesus) drew up a plan to lobby for tax cuts for the richest and most wealthiest among them. I mean why should they have to share their privately owned cattle or any other privately owned property with the government that only protects them and makes them secure. Why should they have to share with anyone for that matter as  sharing is Communism and as we all know:

The Bible mandates free market capitalism. It is anti-socialist. When Christianity adheres to the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces free market capitalism.

On the other hand, when Christianity rejects the judicial specifics of the Bible, it produces socialism or some politically run hybrid “middle way” between capitalism and socialism, where politicians and bureaucrats make the big decisions about how people’s wealth will be allocated. Economic growth then slows or is reversed. Always.

To be continued in the next exciting part of our installments of  Discernmentalist Revised History—stay tuned for the conclusion of our tale in Martin Luther Backs Socialists: Chapter The Second…


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,939 other followers

%d bloggers like this: