October 21, 2019
Prophetess ELSandi Discernment News Briefs (Outside El Paso)- Last night around 6pm an unnamed Discernmentalist got a knock at his door—answering it he was greeted by a young female. “Hello;” she said: “have you a minute to spare—are you a good person? Do you know where you’ll be if you die tonight? Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I have a few Bible verses I’d like to share with you.” “Be gone Satan and go home—don’t you know that a woman’s place is at home submitting to her husband’s divine authority? God appointed the role of sharing the Gospel/all information about Himself to men only. Besides that the True Gospel is that God made Jesus as a Penal Substitute to satisfy His unquenchable wrath yet our Sovereign God still remains angry so angry with a commendable hatred and unsatisfied wrath towards sinners (which we must imitate) that He threatens to throw as many people into hell as possible—all out of His Great Pleasure and good purposes of course. We rejoice at the destruction of the pre-damned wicked reprobates aka Papists; RINOs; Lutherans and Semi-Pelagian Armenian heretics and will dip our toes in their blood and dance to celebrate their final end. Our Angry Sovereign God is so good and worthy of worship! If you can’t handle the Hard Truths of the Bible like rejoicing at your non-Elect grandma who prayed the Rosary one time roasting in hell for all eternity and that a woman’s place is to be a silent doormat for men then you were never saved to begin with and most likely a False Convert.”—the unknown Discernmentalist said—angrily slamming the door in the female Evangelist’s face and turning her away. The final remarks of that unnamed Discernmentalist were overheard through the door cracks by passersby: “The nerve of that woman Having the Audacity to Preach the Gospel and Help People.”
May 17, 2011
Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!
This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.
July 19, 2010
Number 4 in our lessons on ODM Science:
June 30, 2010
Eric Barger reveals “The REAL Purpose of the Church” by giving a sneak preview of what’s in store for all True ODM Churches in these Last Days. What’s in store for all Pure ODM Churches taking a stand for Absolute Truth you may ask? Why! Nothing but the blessed rapture! (Thanks to one of our Reasearch Robot Monkeys for catching this).
However we are not quite satisfied with that answer as we are not quite in the Last Days of this Great Tribulation of Emergent apostasy—because of this we must continue to stand for Truth so that we will be ready—Rapture Ready when the blessed rapture occurs before Jesus returns and comes to slay all the non-Elect unregenerate reprobates.
Are you ready? Here is our list of what one must do to be ready in order to prepare for the blessed rapture:
- Unconditionally support every act of Israel even their acts of terrorism
- Unconditionally support USA-brand Imperialism
- Vote Obama and every Democrat out of office
- Smoke a Spurgeon-approved cigar
- Buy 667 copies of John MacArthur’s book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception and leave one copy everywhere you go just in case one of the regenerate predestined Elect accidently stumbles upon a copy and awakens to their status of being among the regenerate predestined Elect
- Outlaw all abortion and homosexuality
- Use only a King James AV1611 Bible or ESV
- Burn any copy of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Brian McLaren’s books or any other Emergent type book that you come across preferably while performing a Bible-Based animal sacrifice or while burning Emergent heretics themselves
- Read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia, The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party, Ken Silva and other ODMs to get your facts]
- Continue to be ever-vigilant and ever-valiant in your stand for our Absolute Biblical Truth