ANTIFA Bears linked to ISIS terrorize Planet of Commercials

December 4, 2019

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ANTIFA-ISIS BEAR: “You should have eaten my cheese kafirs… you don’t disrespect a panda blessed with mission from Allah or his delicious goat cheese products or I’m gonna get you!”

Discernmentalists have detected a new terrorist threat by ANTIFA-linked bears connected to ISIS where a class of schoolkids have been flattened by a speeding car and a demon monkey (downloads into your soul)…and a panda (threatens Bible-believers)…don’t ask. One of these ANTIFA-linked Pandas terrorize bible-believers with unholy cheese abominations as caught by our Research Robot Monkeys. It was even reported by Discernmentalist News Networks that a bible-believing Discernmentalist home owner had an unpleasant run in with one of these monsters:

OH CRAP I’M OUT OF PANDA CHEESE “Just you know why…” LOCAL MAN FOUND DEAD INSIDE HOME. Two other people died by being stuffed with strange worldly unbiblical cheeses.

Behold these hideous ANTIFA bears in all their horrors—be warned though—you will be terrorized and you’re dreams will be haunted—you may even die from laughing yourself silly:

 

 


ReApprising Ministries notes: Art Garfunkel preaches Worldly Message to Lutherans!! as backed up by Christian Research Network! almost…sort of!!?!!

October 31, 2019

Screenshot_2019-10-26 Go looking for the word - Living Lutheran2

A keen-eyed (Ken-eyed) Discernmentalist pointed out to us that Art Garfunkel was observed preaching a Worldly Message at some Lutheran church. ReApprising Ministries the spiritual heirs of the late great Pastor-Teacher and our affectionate Uncle and mentor Ken Silva’s Apprising Ministries has issued a statement:

This time in which we find ourselves is one of rapid change, revisionist history and so-called “postmodernism.” Is it any wonder that people wonder what to believe, and even who they can trust? Today faithful believers in Christ face more and more pressure to be “politically correct” — which in the end is simply a mask for relativism. And while the nature of God, and the beautiful simplicity of His Gospel remain the same, the cornucopia of attacks leveled at our Lord’s Church by the enemy are increasingly fierce and constantly changing.

ReApprising has gone on to note that Art has stated: “I asked myself, does this rub against my Jewish background? I answered that if you sing you’re a little like an actor wearing various hats. I’m wearing a hat of respect for the Christian tradition.” (You see there he admits he’s a pretend Christian).

The Christian Research Network also of our late great affectionate Uncle Pastor-Teacher goes on: “Before we move on we must add a word of caution from blogger and author Tim Challies.  Speaking on discernment in “How can I increase my spiritual discernment?” he wrote:

Some have mistakenly defined spiritual discernment as a God-given awareness of evil or good spiritual presences—the ability to tell if a demon is in the room. While some people may possess this capability, it is not the biblical meaning of discernment. Spiritual discernment ultimately has to do with wisdom and the ability to distinguish truth from error.

Finally we leave you with one final quote: “…that Lutherans would want to encourage mystic practices that were part of the Counter Reformation, and which are the antithesis of Luther’s correct emphasis on Sola Scriptura, is further evidence that evangelicalism is likely as apostate now as Rome was when Luther stood hammer in hand.”

This is just one more example of how Reforming Christianity is Downgrading?


Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

May 17, 2011

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.


Love Wins?

March 1, 2011

         

             A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys

                          of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:

Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”

Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.

All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”

P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.

            A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia


Precious American Gospel Bible Verses

July 26, 2010

Any True Christian American Patriot and True Citizen of the Kingdom of God aka America should keep these Bible verses as close to their hearts as their guns and ammunition:

For Christ came to butcher, destroy, bomb and burn our enemies so that they may die more violently. (John MacArthur 10:10).

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, and is willing that all our enemies should perish, so that America may stand forever. (Second Peter Ruckman 3:9).

 For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS OURS TO REPAY.” And again, “AMERICA WILL JUDGE ALL PEOPLE.” sayeth the Lord. (Bob “Hebrews” Jones 10:30).

But I tell you: Hate your enemies and pray an Imprecatory Prayer that God through American Military Might might smite as many of them as possible. (Matthew Ken Silva 5:44).

—All Scriptures  quoted from the 1611 King James Bible the Authorized American Version aka Chuck Norris’ Bible.


Science-Free Medicine!!!

July 19, 2010

Are you as horrified as us over the Obamanation of ObamaCare? Are you tired of pseudo-scientific advances in Medicine? Have we got the answer for you—science-free medicine activated only by biblical faith because secular medicine is an assault:

  • an assault on the Bible
  • an assault on the Absolute Truth
  • an assault on our Faith
  • an assault on traditional American values
  • an assault on Freedom
  • an assault on our right to be stupid practice Bible-Based Science
  • and yes even an assault on our angry Sovereign God’s wrath and Law against sinners

Other reasons to get on board Science-Free Medicine today: Secular pseudo-scientists say that the microbes that attack our bodies are ever-evolving lifeforms which is why these evolutionary pseudo-scientists have to keep inventing new antibiotics. Isn’t that just evil? Can you say “placebo”? We Know this is just ignorance on the part of evilutionists—trying to educate people make up lies to disseminate prop up scientific truth their delusional fairy-tales. Besides would you want pseudo-scientists sticking strange needles and/or pills in you? Who knows they could be giving you the Mark of the Beast especially if they’re Roman Catholic doctors. We Know that microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases are all caused by sin and they don’t evolve at all as evolution never happens just as the Bible says. Just as God literally created the universe and everything within it unchangeable and as absolute static forms in 6 literal 24-hour days—God allows microbes, germs, bacteria, viruses and diseases to remain unchanged in order to punish vile, wretched and wicked sinners whose destruction we should all rejoice in.

Another reason to back our Science-Free Medicine is that secular medical science denies Absolute Biblical Truths already succinctly illustrated above. After infiltrating a pseudo-scientific lab full of evolutionary Emergent doctors, Our Research Robot Monkeys also noted the following:

Secular Medical Science and secular health care are so bankrupt that many are abandoning them to embrace New Age Mystical healing gooble-de-gook. Secular and New Age medicine is the new savior. Problems that were once blamed on individual sin and familial genetic sin (Original Sin) are now charged to chemical imbalances and disorders. Yesterday’s medical science and today’s medical science share the same fatal errors–they reject the total depravity of man due to sin; they treat the symptoms instead of the heart; and they aim for change that is not true sanctification. In spite of obvious failure, the notion prevails within the church that secular medicine and secular health care are more effective agents of change–particularly in dealing with the most difficult cases of illnesses–than the Holy Spirit who sanctifies. But can secular medicine and secular health care possibly accomplish something the Holy Spirit cannot? Can an earthly doctor achieve more than a heavenly Comforter? Is medicine more helpful than sanctification? Of course not.

Last but not least, the symbol of Secular Medicine is not only Pagan in orgin but also Occultic and Gnostic in origin and as We all Know Gnosticism is a heresy. If that isn’t enough to reject the evil and sinister cabals of Secular Medical Pseudo-Science whole scale then you must be a servant of Satan—so remember Science-Free Medicine for all your Bible-Based Faith-Healing needs where our motto is: “we’ll lock you in a closet and scream and yell Bible verses at you until you repent of your sins and get saved/cured/healed from your illnesses or else.” Warning if our Bible-Based Healing methods don’t work for you then it means you lack TRUE Biblical Faith and most likely weren’t meant to be healed to begin with.


Godless Reprobates are…

July 4, 2010

 

That’s right all you Arminianists, Emergent heretics and False Christians who are obsessed with the Babylonian whore church of Papal Rome—you are all too sinful to save unlike We the Predestined and Godly Sinless Elect—even God said so! The Real God and the Real Jesus that is who in His Absolute Sovereign Wrath is angry and hates sinners with a Holy Passion and not your imaginary and worldly Jesus idol of the Roman Whore Church made in your man-exalting image. And that means you to0 Emergent-Evolutionist Bible Monkey!

P. S. We hate all of you with a Godly and commendable hatred for our hatred of all of you is Absolutely Biblical and ordained by the Real and Sovereign God Himself:

Rev 2:6 But this thou hast, that thou hatest the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.

Rev 2:14 But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.

Rev 2:15 So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitans, which thing I hate.

Rev 2:16 Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Rev 2:17 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth [it]. (Revelation 2:6, 14-17—The One and Only True Holy King James Bible Authorized Version 1611).

In the  loving blessings of His Grace, liberty and electing Saving Faith for which I was Chosen,

Don Jobson.


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