Introducing our all new Discernmentalist Decoder Rings!

November 3, 2019

decoderdis

ON SALE NOW FOR 2+2 DOLLARS: THAT’S ONLY $10 A REAL VALUE!

Dr. Paul McCain continues to allow his emotions to skew his exegesis of Scripture when he disagrees with Discernmentalists’ misinterpretation of: “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” In fact we believe he isn’t Protestant at all just like Luther who as we all know began the Protestant Reformation. Many believe Luther was Reformed but as we’ve Discernmentalized Luther didn’t hold True to the Purity of Discernmentalist Doctrine as he shaved his beard off and celebrated Christmas and Easter also against our Clear Teachings on their Pagan Catholic origins. Dr. McCain is theologically suspect as well as he writes in Double Presdestination:

Ah, yes, the wonderfully reassuring Calvinist doctrine of God choosing some He
created to roast in hell.

Ok, kids, now get out your decoder rings, we
are going to read the Bible Calvinist style! Ready….here we go.

“All”
… dial in the code and you will see that really that word is “some”

“World” … dial in that code and you will see that word is really “some
of the world.”

You get the picture.

You see there he attacked the Truth of our Pure Doctrines. Thankfully we Discernmentalists have our Secret Decoder Rings handy so we know that all means some and world means Elect. We also have Discernmentalized through our rings that 2 +2=10. We wonder is Dr. McCain secretly a selachophile? Anyways you now can buy our Secret Decoder Rings—available at fine Discernmentalist stores in the US only! Never lack in knowing the right answer… always be prepared. Our Rings will make sure you hold True to the Right Doctrines! These Rings do so much more than change κόσμος (universe) to ἐκλεκτός (Elect)/ἐκκλησία (assembly) or πᾶς (all) to ὀλίγοι (few)—they also help Discernmentalists decode secret heresies within our many enemies. Never leave home without one…order soon limited quantities available…

Act now and receive one free with every copy of our Revised Discernmentalist Draft Codebook of Biblical Languages and get a free Truly Reformed Mathematics Cheat-book with every purchase for only 9 + 9 dollars: that’s a $18 value for only $12—Rings included!

 

ODMafia Endorsed

 

 


An Exciting Announcement!

May 13, 2019

TSM Bar

“The Bible has a wax nose; you can twist it whichever way you want!” —Martin Luther

Finally a Candy Bar with Discernmentalizing bite! Packed with Truth-bending powers and waxy bits. Literally melts in your mouth to aid in Scripture-twisting. Absolute guarantee for Bible beaters. Gives more energy to help you with your Stand. Remember Take A Stand Bible Bar available now at fine Bible-believing resellers everywhere…buy it now. Act now for the extra added value of Dark sunglasses and wax nose included free with purchase. And remember its Truthslayer Endorsed!


Be Rapture-Ready for May 21, 2011!

May 17, 2011

Prepare for May 21st and be Rapture Ready with the Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s handy new RaptureHatch for the roofs of True Churches and the homes of True Regenerate Converts. Doomsday is soon approaching… Don’t get Left Behind with the unregenerate non-Elect heathens… Let John MacArthur confirm you in our Pure Truth War Doctrines and prove that you are indeed Rapture Ready and we’ll install a RaptureHatch on your roof today!

This site (an Online Discernmentalist Mafia partner site) reveals the most complete written, audio, and video Bible teachings which conclusively prove May 21, 2011 to be Judgment Day and The Rapture, and October 21, 2011 to be the end of the world. It is most urgent to examine yourself, whether you are of the Regenerate Elect and therefore are saved.


Help Us Fight The Red Menace!

January 12, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I want to know how I can help fight the Red Menace. I am sick of all these Red-Letter Christians trying to force me into charitable causes and handing over my hard-earned money that I worked for myself to help them alleviate poverty. I believe as the Bible plainly teaches that if the poor lazy bums of the world were intended to have money that God would have predestined them to be Elect, rich and Republican from the foundation of the world. Afterall, John 12:8 states: “For the poor always ye have with you.”

Sincerely,

Rich White Scrooge, born Elect Republican.

———————————————————————————————————

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

You are Absolutely Right—Red-Letter Christians are a menace to society. The nerve of some Christians exalting Jesus above Paul’s words as the  late GOIP  Discernmentalist Dr. D. James Kennedy use to say: “Christianity is not based on the teachings of Jesus.” We suggest that you help us Truth Warriors out by buying Jan Markell‘s “Truth Dollars” to aid in the fight against the Red Menace. Each “Truth Dollar” helps to support impoverished Truth Warriors on the front-line by equipping them with Absolute Truth facts from Eric Barger’s ONE OF EVERYTHING DISCERNMENTALIST SPECIAL! We hope that we have your support in helping our cause for the non-Jesus centered teaching of Reaganism and the Gospel of God’s wrath against the poor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Don Jobson, swindling, stealing, rallying for the cause of  Absolute Truth.


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