April 27, 2019
Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET. A Aperising Pictures Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker. Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.
Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!”
Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:
- Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
- Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
- WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.
Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.
This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.
April 20, 2019
You dare question our unquestionable Doctrines sinners. We know that Wrath=Love as we’ve already presupposed this to be true (as we got our education from unaccredited colleges unlike you sinners who went to worldly schools; worked hard and actually earned a Real Doctoral Degree*) therefore you too must presuppose it to be true as well. Nevermind the fact that this isn’t found in the New Testament:
“Barth distances himself from classic substitution views, especially those stemming from Anselm. He acknowledges that the concept of punishment is present in Isaiah 53, but denies that it is present in the New Testament (a puzzling assertion, since he has used the term himself just earlier ). He then says this:
The decisive thing is not that He has suffered what we ought to have suffered so that we do not have to suffer it, the destruction to which we have fallen victim by our guilt, and therefore the punishment which we deserve. This is true, of course. But it is true only as it derives from the decisive thing that in the suffering and death of Jesus Christ it has come to pass that in His own person He has made an end of us as sinners and therefore of sin itself by going to death as the One who took our place as sinners. In His person He has delivered up us sinners and sin itself to destruction (253).
Earlier on the same page Barth also denies that the concept of satisfying God’s wrath is present in the New Testament. Thus my takeaway is this: Barth affirms a version of PSA, but not propitiation; and for Barth the penal element is peripheral, not central. The main thing for Barth is that Christ deals with our sin itself (and destroys it) by taking our places as the judged. Also, Barth’s version of PSA seems more oriented to Christ’s entire incarnate life, just just his death – this, and his frequent arguments from Christ’s “solidarity” with the world make his version of PSA sounds more compatible with a kind of recapitulation theme, as found in Irenaeus. Thus despite the similarity of language, at a very crucial juncture I think Barth’s doctrine of atonement must be seen as in a quite different category than classic PSA views in the reformed tradition. While I think some of his assertions stand in an ambiguous relationship with Scripture, I do find him an enlivening theological sparring partner, especially on the nature of the incarnation.”
Our Presuppositions are always correct.
*Our official Diploma of Presuppositional Apologetics: