Discernmentalist Quotes For The New Decade

January 4, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash (July 8th, 2009 at 8:55 am) :

One of my all-time heroes of the faith. What a great man, and greatly used of God as our Final Prophet and executioner of heretics. Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Roman Arminianism, that man-exalting heresy, being Christ-like and bearing the Fruits of the Spirit.

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Obama:

The BIGGEST reason we are in this financial recession is the current worthless and worst president ever, Obuma. Impeach him and things will immediately get better. You will thank me later. Haters….BEGIN

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Adam Lambert and homos in general:

  Time was when they would put someone in jail for acting like that on TV. We need to get back to those days. I would see NOTHING wrong with putting that guy in jail!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Peace-mongers:

1:25PM Dec 2nd 2009
David, David, David… why don’t you just get on the boat now? Or a ship, or, Hell, for that matter walk if you have to!! Just leave!! Take that one way trip to Cuba, or China or Venezuela RIGHT NOW!! True Americans do not want you here anymore. Hell, admit it, YOU don’t want to be here. I saw you on Chris Matthews stupid little show where he called West Point “the enemy camp.” West Point is the enemy camp huh. Naturally you said NOTHING about this point because leftist Communist pigs like yourself truly see it that way. Leave David, leave America! It is for those who LOVE it, not hate it like you do!!!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in defense of  War:

12:59PM Nov 30th 2009
Hey David (A)corn, You communist jerk!! How did your recent conversations with Putin, Castro, Hugo Chavez and Chairman Obama go? Did they help you with any ideas to publish with your daily Communist agenda? Gotta run…Hollah!!!
The reviewer wrote:

“I would have been fascinated to read a comparison of how Protestants are treated in, say, Italy, Spain, Portugal or France”

Well, as everyone knows, Protestants in Italy, Spain, Portugal and France are rounded up under the cover of darkness by Albino assassin monks, all members of an ultra-secret Opus Dei albino monk assassin squad, and these Protestants are, again, under cover of darkness, turned into a food supplement called “Soylent Green.”

That’s why Protestants never, ever go to Italy, Spain, Portugal or France.

The Eiffel Tower? The Cote d’Azur? The Coleisseum?

Don’t be fooled. These are all traps, traps I tell you, that these devastatingly clever Catholics have set up in order to lure innocent Protestants into traveling to Europe!

Be wise, my friends, be wise! Don’t travel to Europe! Soylent Green is Protestants!


Mark Driscoll the Cussing Pastor, forgets to Cuss During Sermon!

March 5, 2008

driscoll.jpg 

Picture of Mark Driscoll using hand gestures as he describes his latest series on Song of Solomon.

Discernmentalist News~

Mark Driscoll who was made famous by Donald Miller in his book  little book of heresy “Blue Like Jazz” is the lead pastor Mars Hill Seattle an emerging church (every other week).

 While preaching last week Mark Driscoll finished his service and almost fell on his face when he realized he forgot to swear during his sermon. He was put off a bit when half the congregation (that only comes to hear him swear and find out if they are to give a thumb up or down on Emergent Village.) began to get up and leave half way through his sermon.

There were some that were over heard as they left stating that they were wondering if Mark Driscoll had gotten saved sometime last week before the service, though this cannot be confirmed or denied we just thought we might let the reader JUDGE whether condemnation is needed.

Continue to pray against Mark and his Church of potty mouth wannabes so that God will be still Holy in Seattle.

 


A friend sent me this encouraging email

February 2, 2008

hookah 

An Emerging Church Service~!

This may are may not be from a contributor of CRN. In fact all it stated was from the editor’s desk about Rick Warren’s new book* he helped co write.

—————————————————————————————————————

From the desk of the Right Reverend Pastor Teacher general-editor/editor:**  

The Lord spoke to me the other night as I read the dustcover of this book. Seeing as Warren is a semi-pelegian-Armenian-emerging-ecumenenical-diaper wearing snot head, it only seemed appropriate that I would be disgraced with the presence of God and it would lead me to write this diatribe….errr….missive.  

I didn’t even have to crack the book open since I realized that the editor was a cousin of a friend of a coworker of the mailman of a Rob Bell (who himself is a semi-pelegian-Armenian-emerging-ecumenenical-kid who writes the short bus). And since everyone who is a true convert knows that Rob Bell is the man-boy love child of Brian McLaren, who the Lord has told me is a slowly becoming catholic Birkenstock wearing hookahs smoking emergo poser, it pleases me that the Lord would also tell me to write a review of this book that’s only suitable for toilet paper, littler box liner, or tissues that I’d rather stick in naughty parts of my body. Now, I’m telling you in the Lord that “deeds not creeds” loving Warren is rotten root of the man centered liberal theology, since Africa is where fleshy tunes of Satan originates.  

Clearly this worldly music is eating away at the souls of children everywhere and in his own flesh mind Warren tells us that we should be involved in the great social causes such as emancipation, which the Lord told me is only dominion theology. Now apparently, in this freeing of slaves from slavery, which God didn’t see as a problem, see the scripture on this, it warms the cockles of my heart to let you know that emerging lead guitarist “pastors” everywhere are only going to use this book to encourage more commie loving puppets in their congregation to care for “the least of these”, who, everyone who is a true convert knows, are only people who God elected since before the beginning of time.  

Finally, since the time is near for His Return, and you now see how the Devil is bringing us to a one world religion, thanks to the North American Union and the apostate Roman Catholic Church. In closing, I want to remind all God fearing Christians everywhere to NOT DRINK soy milk, since it can make you gay. 

—————————————————————————————————- 

Thank God we have people like Ken Silva  the general editor/editor at CRN that understand the hate of God and want to spread that message of His Anger to all!

I also wanted to share this bit from the Holiest anointed non cessationist prophet of Jesus Christ living today.

“And may I add that it is not to say that God doesn’t love, but it is to say that you’ll never understand how great His love is unless you know how great His hate is. I mean, if you understand that God hates sin so profoundly then you will find it all the more amazing that He can love sinners. So that without an understanding of His hate, His love is crippled too in our thinking. Love and grace are favorite terms, are void of meaning if God does not hate.” ~ John MacArthur

 

No doubt you have been blessed more by me as usually. (Hebrews 7:7)

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.,

I. Todyaso

 *My lawyers told me that I must state that Rick only did the forward.

** The name was removed so that the evil Emergents don’t attack my friend with their vile anti heaven/hell/ teachings! 


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