“Reformation Eroding!”: Warns Pulpit & Pen

April 24, 2019

idolatry

Once again the Pure Doctrines of our most Holy most illustrious most inerrant Pope of our Truth War (PBUH) have come under attack. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that one of our own Al Mohler (who we already exposed as a Socialist against our Clear Teachings) did something that we ODMs disapprove of: mourned the fire at Notre Dame against our Clear Teachings against such. Quote:

Like most in the Evangelical Intelligentsia, Albert Mohler is signaling a virtue that is almost altogether disconnected from his theology. The long, long line to mourn the loss of a Temple of Idols forms somewhere near the headquarters of The Social Gospel Coalition, who lean heavily upon Roman Catholic Liberation Theology to support their progressive political agenda.

Mohler wrote an article entitled History Burning Before Our Eyes in which he laments the loss of so much ‘history.’ The history of Roman Catholicism has been the death of hundreds of thousands of Protestants, abject tyranny, responsibility for the Dark Ages, and the propagation of superstitious anti-Christ religion around the world.

We here at the ODMafia agree that this is a clear perversion of our the Doctrines of Grace and will erode the Protestant Reformation of Martin Luther’s (who observed Easter against our clear teachings on it’s pagan catholic origins) and John Calvin (who was influenced by the Patristics against our clear teachings to avoid all things Catholic). For shame Al—repent back to our Angry ODM Truth War Gospel against all those we deem unworthy of God’s grace or the liberals; gays; emergent hordes; Catholics; semi-pelagians; Rob Bell;  Armenians; pacifists; extraterrestrials; Red Letter Christians; Dracula; Bigfoot; etc. whose God’s love wins will erode our Reformation and the Purity of our Sound Doctrines and prevent us from bringing all of us back to the Dark Ages.

As noted by one of our fellow Discernmentalists after reading the excellent Discernmentalist article by Bullsh@t & Spin Dullspit & Sin Dips#it & Pretend Pulpit & Pen:

“Quite a shame Al Mohler bases his postmodern opinion on to the Reformers none of whom were Catholic. There was not even a shred of mention by them being influenced by Catholic belief. I’m sick of Social Justice promoting Christians? basing all their thoughts on things with “feelings.” I don’t care how you feel about things, you don’t get to change the facts to suit your preferences, just by posting your favorite leftist postmodern opinion. Truth be told the Reformers are rolling over in their graves with everything you jackasses have done to screw up the church.”—Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer

We move that Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass  of the mighty Truth Warrior site Pyromaniacs force persuade Al to rejoin the ODM fold and take a stand in the Pure Doctrines of our most illustrious most Holy most inerrant Pope over ODMs and internet Calvinists everywhere (PBUH) or revoke his association with Mohler. In case you have forgotten my credentials—I was personally  mentored by the late great Pastor-Teacher to the Online Congregation of the True Remnant of ODMs—who personally sat at the feet of the late Walter Martin by pouring over his Apologetics cassette tapes for several hours. This gives me more than enough self-righteousness to discernmentalize and judgmentalize all those who don’t hold true to the Purity of our Doctrines of the Truth War.


A quick hitter

April 23, 2019

Priest

Hello my faithful warriors for faith!  It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything for I was battling the semipelagianist  around the globe. 37 countries and countless battles and I firmly believe that we are winning the battle.  I ask that all of you stand steadfast against the teaching of the post modernists and liberal feminists.   Let us pray strongly for our brothers in arms John Piper and Rush Limbaugh.    Let us pray that God, in his sovereignty, would bless our great Truth War once again against all those who would stand against us and our eternal struggle. Let us fight against Easter worshippers and all those who would dare call Christians Easter worshippers. Let us spread more Pizzagates and QaNon propaganda to take a stand against the vaccinated apostates who pervert our Pure Doctrines for: “There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little.”—FRANCIS BACON, Of Suspicion, 1625.

I write this from the Fema Concentration camp that I stole my guns back from comforted by John MacArthur (PBUH)’s words: “There has been a conspiracy to cover up a truth that is so essential to the New Testament, that without it we misunderstand our relationship to Jesus Christ.” And we discernmentalists know all about conspiracies. I immediately renew my pledge in the Truth War to conspire in our Truth doctrines against the unwashed masses. Well I’m off to yet again fight with another camp of apostates, the lamestream media and hairy mystics chanting with earth worshipping feminists but I leave you with one conspiratorial essential quote which helps us understand our relationship to misogyny Jesus even more:

This is the real danger. The very idea of Christian feminism has become a Trojan horse for theological liberalism. The popular “Christian” feminists, such as Rachel Held Evans and Sarah Bessey, are advocates for a host of theologically liberal positions ranging from pro-gay theology to denying Biblical inerrancy to advocating for alternative views of God the Father Himself to minimizing the atonement. It is not as if they are drawing on historic Biblical doctrine to ground equality. Rather, they begin with a modernist conception of “equality” and insist on reading that into the Bible. Christian feminism is not based on good exegesis, but eisegesis. It is not a Christianization of feminism, but a secularization of Christianity. And it gains traction, especially among younger Christians, because there is a biblical ideal of equality based on man and woman’s creation in the image of God (see Genesis 1:26-27). Yet like all doctrinal dangers and compromises, the truth is mixed with a great deal of error. And while Christian feminism starts with a true proposition, it quickly devolves into a host of false teachings, biblical distortions, and even heresies.

If Christian feminism were marked by biblical teaching on sex and gender roles, and didn’t have a host of doctrinal distortions smuggled in with it, then I would have no quarrel or qualm with it. If my compatriots in the Assemblies of God would exercise even a little discernment when quoting Christian feminists who actively deny AG doctrine, I would be less concerned. But instead advocacy of Christian feminism, especially among Millennials, is doctrinally uninformed, Biblically void, historically ignorant, philosophically incoherent, and naive in nearly every way.

Christian feminism is a Trojan horse. It will rot the religion in which it appears, destroying from within Christianity’s Biblical and historic teachings on God and man’s relationship to Him. I know this sounds alarmist and overblown. But the time to sound alarmist is decidedly BEFORE the barbarians are inside the gates. You sound the alarm before the trap is sprung, in hopes that you don’t get caught in the trap. On doctrinal issues, I want to alert people to the problem before they make a commitment to false teaching (Proverbs 12:13).

To anyone who objects especially liberal feminists… I reply….

617220c317633b9bbca84e20c171d42f0a093e96373a7413f9c466298f3f9261

 


Fox News Controlled By Marxists

April 16, 2019

2

Dear OD Mafia,

Lately I’m concerned that Fox News has  been failing to report our delusions the Real Truth.©™ What can I do if there’s no Safe Space away from the liberal hordes, Cultural Marxism and political correctness left  to confirm our biases Reality©™? Where can I turn to for Fake Real News©™? Whom can I turn to? Whom can I trust??

Sincerely,

I. R. DeLoo Ted

P. S. All countries who are not Muslim should expel them … France, Germany, U. S., etc.

Dear DeLoo Ted,

I’ll tell you who you can turn to and trust. We promise to be #1 in Alt-Facts and Fake Real News©™ as Trump is our disciple. Our Research Robot Monkeys have noted that Fox News too has fallen under the spell of evil Cultural Marxist puppet master George Soros who controls all the Media©™–and that is why:

“Fox has been trying to cover it up from the beginning. They cut off all of the priests midsentence and wouldn’t even listen to what they have to say. There is the issue that liberals believe all problems can be solved through increasing tolerance, diversity, and inclusivity. So if it is those doctrines which are actually inflaming our problem and they are completely blind to it, they will attempt to hide anything that may even mildly indicate that this liberal belief system is killing us.”—Joe Roberts

You can be sure of one thing Fox News will report what George Soros tells the Big Government to tell them to report and the way Big Brother tells them to report the news. So Fox News like all News in the USA is 100% controlled by the Government and the filthy Rich few who own the Media©™. So you can be sure of this, What the News Media©™ Says can say they are sure about what they are told to say. —————————————————–But it is my opinion those Filthy Rich People who control the News©™ are trying to keep the truth hidden so the People of France do not start a Civil War against the Islamic Invaders of their Nation.

Trust Only In Us For Your Alt-Factual Fake True Newsworthy Alt-Media©™ reporting Needs,

Drs. Don Jobson; I. Todyaso and Truthslayer

P.S. Let the Free Market decide the TRUE NEWS©™.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Dan Kimball’s Hair Leaves Emerging Church!

January 21, 2009

 

dan-kimballs-hair2

THE Editors note: We would like to introduce a new writer here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia. His name is TruthSlayer and I am amazed at his discernmentalist skills.

Several apologetic discernment ministries have reported a major fracture in the Emerging Church movement. Thankfully, SoL, Take A Stand Ministries, Herescope and Apprising Ministries have all reported a huge rift that occurred last Tuesday morning within the Emerging church movement. Dan Kimball a major proponent of Emerging noted that his hair is succeeded from his head. He would not comment any further

Another unnamed ministry was able to interview Kimball’s hair. Reports so far note that his hair had moved onto a more bible-hair based ministry. Kimball’s hair was reported to have had enough of the “greased back” programs and would like to let his hair down. The unnamed ministry learned that Dan Kimball was in fact not bible based…as a matter of fact his hair was quoted as saying “Dan did not even have a house built out of bibles….instead it was built out of secular brick and mortar” Hair went on to say “I was so uncomfortable in a non-bible based home.” As a matter of fact other shocking elements to the story persist that Dan only had 6 bibles in his household, and he had a subscription to Christianity Today…and applying our Discernmentalist Tools we know that Today is shockingly close to the word GAY.


%d bloggers like this: