May 29, 2010

We support Tin-Foil Hat Theology in all of it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our churches uninvited by secret cloaking Truth-bending tactics. These Spiritual Terrorists are otherwise known as the Emergent Church and/or Red-Letter Christians.
They have sneaked inside of our churches in order to bend the Truth to their evil overlord Brian McLaren’s ungodly and unbiblical libertarian free-will. Rather than serving the Pure and Absolute Sovereign God of Wrath, whose Absolute Glory is man’s chief end—they’d rather serve their sinful, prideful and selfish ways and therefore they bow down to Satan, the Master of all Untruth, which makes materialism, selfishness and human pride and sin man’s chief end.
Remember also that God’s Sovereign Truth is so precious and fragile that it needs protecting by mere mortals using any means necessary including slander, libel, lies and other worldly weapons (this is the Truth War afterall)—this is where conspiracy theories come in handy and why Tin-Foil Hat Theology is a Discernmentalist’s best friend. The nuttier the conspiracy theory the better to help defend and protect the Absolute Truth. Here are some of our personal favorite conspiracies that Brannon Howse has uncovered and taught us over the years :
– non-Zionists, Emergents, socialists, globalists, Muslims, communists, atheists, heathens, Red-Letter Christians, Marxists and secular Jews are all attempting to take over the world.
– International bankers are trying to take over the world.
– The Illuminati, or other clandestine groups, are attempting to take over the world.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about UFOs.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth about cities on Mars and the moon.
– NASA and the government are covering over the truth that the Apollo missions were hoaxes.
– The government is covering over the assassination or assassination attempts on high-profile government officials like JFK or Ron Brown or the attempt on Final President Reagan.
– Muslims are responsible for all acts of terrorism around the world.
– Obama is a Secular-Humanist Muslim atheist and the Anti-Christ bent on destroying America through Communistic Socialism and helping our enemies take over the world.
– the government is covering over their involvement in orchestrating the events of September 11th, 2001, with remote control planes, cruise missiles, and controlled demolitions with Muslims’ and liberals’ help. (Source: New World Order Weekend).
The noted and award-winning Discernmentalist Tin-Foil Hat Theologian Ken Silva wants our students to know that: “Conspiracies are just too difficult to keep secret even when there are only one or two people keeping the secret.”… so help us to expose all to the secret conspiracies of our enemies who are all out there trying to destroy the Truth and the church…And as always, spread the fear and hate!
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absolute truth, Absolutely Certain Truth, aliens/UFOs, Always 1600's, antichrists, AV1611-King Jimmy's Book, Backbone, bananas for Jesus, bible based slander, Bible-Based Tests, bible-believing, BiblicalThought.com, Bibliolatry isn't idolatry, Big Brother, bow, Brandon Howse, Brannon Howse, Brian McLaren, Buy me, Calvinazis, Christian Mystics from hell!, coercion of faith, Conartists, Contemplative Prayer/Spirituality, Couches and Candles, Defemation, Deformata, Deformers, Degeneration, Discerning the World, Discernment, Discernmentalese, Discernmentalist, Discernmentalist Preparatory Test, Discernmentalist United Against Social Justice, Dividing the Sheep and goats., Divisionism, Don Jobson and Truthslayer approved, Easy-Believism, Elect vs. non-Elect, Elitists, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries, Essential/non-essential, exercise, False vs. True Converts, fear mongering, God's Absolute Sovereign Wrath, God's Only Inerrant Party, GOIP, GOIP Productions, GOIP Products, Grace Community Church, Hip and Thigh, Hitler, Holy Conspiracy Theories Batman!, I put some other categories here, I*segesis, ignorance is bliss, Illegal immigrants, Illuminati, Illuminati Party, immigrants, Inquisition, Isreal, it's all about me, Jan Markell, John Macarthur, judgemental, judging others for fun and profit, Ken Silva, Koo Koo, Libertarians=Liberals in Disguise, Lighthouse Trails, Lying for truth's sake, marketing for God, marketing using fear, mental gymnastics, milking goats for fun and profit, no-Grace To You Ministries, NWO, Obama, Obamanation, Obey!, ODMafia, ODMU, Oh that smell, Olive Tree Ministries, Onward Christo-Fascist Soldiers!, Oppose, Outhouse Trails, pagan, Post-modern unbelievers, purposeless driven life, Rapture believers, Red Letter Christrians, Religious Police, Research Robot Monkeys, Researchmentalism, Rhoblogy, Rhology, Rick Warren, Romans 13, Ruckman, Screw Head, Secret Order of Discernmentalist United in Ministry, Secret Order of the ODM, Secrets/Closet, secular, Sedewhitehousists, seeing clearly, Self righteous, Semi-Pelagians, Semi-Pelagisese, Semi-Pelagites, Semi-Pelagoids, Semper 1600's, setting the standard, sinners, so get over it!, Spiritual Terrorists, Spread the fear, spread the hate, Steve Camp, strawman, STRETCH Technology, Submit unto Thy Governments!, Tea Partiers 4 Jesus, technology, the Devil, Theocracy/Theonomy/American Vision/Federal Vision, they will know we are Christians by our pure doctrine, tinfoil hat theology, To The Conspiracy Cave Boy-Wonder!, Todd Friel/Wretched, Under attack!, universalism conspiracy exposed, University of ODMafia, Us vs. them!, Ways of the Master Discernmentalist, Zionists | Tagged: Christian Worldview, Conservoporn, Conspiracy-Driven Church, Discernment, does this smell right to you?, extra protection from wetness, GOIP Tech, the Hard Truths of the Bible, TRuth War, Ways of the Master, Worldview Weekend |
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Posted by donjobson
February 15, 2010

Sarah Palin (Yes! hubba hubba Awesome) to become the newest Conservoporn playmate. Watch as she saves America from the threat of Red Letter Christians and evil Emergents like Brian McLaren. She even puts Obama in his place. All in conservatively appropriate clothing. Sarah Palin (Yes! hubba hubba Awesome) is a true Discernmentalist after the hearts of all Reaganolater Reagan loving GOIP Discernmentalists. In fact we’ve heard that Sarah Palin(Yes! hubba hubba Awesome) is a female clone of our Final President Ronald Reagan.
A key scene in one of Sarah Palin(Yes! hubba hubba Awesome)’s Conservoporn productions Slaying Neo-Marxist Red Letter Christian Wolves: Tax Cuts For The Filthy Rich Turn Me On —-

Look for the official Glenn Beck Seal Of Approval on all of our excellent and quality Conservoporn productions:

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Absolutely Certain Truth, Alaska, american gospel, Apostate Film Productions, BiblicalThought.com, Brian McLaren, Calvinazis, Camp of the Apostates, Canada, capitalism is biblical, Capitalism Only, Christo-Fascism, emergent, emergent village, emerging church, Eric Bargers Take A Stand Ministries, Final President Reagan, Glenn Beck, God's Only Inerrant Party, GOIP, GOIP Productions, GOIP Products, Gospel of Reaganism, Red Letter Christrians, Red Pen, Religious Police, Religious right = Christianity, Republicans are natural christians, Right-wing, Right-wing radio, Rules to die for, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin---Yes! hubba hubba | Tagged: Brian McLaren, Chris Rosebrough, Christian Worldview, Conservoporn, extra protection from wetness, hell best kept secret, Ingrid, Ken Silva, man of God, What Would Ronald Reagan Do?, Worldview Weekend, WWRRD? |
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Posted by donjobson