September 22, 2011
This just goes to show just how far the Emerging Church will go to justify their ungodly rebellion against the Only True and Correct Doctrines.
New raw footage of last Friday’s deadly air show crash in Reno shows the doomed plane nosediving and exploding on audience.
Watch: Crowd screams ‘Oh my God’
In related news: The Emerging Church has also been tied to a brutally fatal shark attack. We have evidence just read this: “We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ” That’s just how sinisterly vile and disgusting these Emergent types are in their corruption of Pure Doctrine… They violently try to fight the Truth of Orthodoxy by leading people astray into apostasy. This is why we must fight this Truth War to protect God’s Truth from those infected by the Emerging Church disease.
All my researchmentalism on this subject has been “well-researched” so you should just take my word as Absolute Truth and fact. In fact, you all should thank God for this site and sites like the infallible Ken Silva’s CRN for our great and important research such as this article! If you didn’t have us to Take A Stand on things such as this matter the Emerging hordes will destroy God’s Truth.
January 11, 2010
Our research robot monkeys using Eric Barger’s Take A Stand “Super Radio,” found Red Russian radios at an emergent church house meeting!!! After the apostate church meeting tucked their false bibles away, snuffed out their candles, hid their couches and ceased all chants….there was ONE THING they forgot to hide….their russian radios!!!!!
We all know that IF you own a russian radio you are a communist. We also know that communists are against capitalism which is anti-biblical. We also know that communists share and believe in the evils of socialized medicine and may have secret ties to Canada.
Thank-goodness our robot monkeys found the sinister radios…we will dispose of them in an exorcism!
PS Our research robot monkeys wore ear plugs just in case they were withing ear-shot of an evil emergent church worship service.
January 7, 2010
GOIP Press—Extree extree read all aboutit! Ken Silva and Eric Barger unveil a new invention for all GOIP Dicernmentalists. Introducing the new Self-Inflating Egoanator Device–guaranteed to aid Discernmentalists in their Truth War efforts by giving Discernmentalists a quick boost to their egos and helping them to one-up those vile Emergent heretics. This device is so fearsome to our enemies that it strikes a wave of terror even amongst the hardest-hearted atheists. They fear this device so much they even attack it:
in the words of (notable atheist) Arthur C. Clarke, “there is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing — absolutely nothing — except turn itself off.”
But who listens to atheists anyway—certainly not any True Absolute Truth Discernmentalists. Anyways behold the horror of the Absolute Truth proving Self-Inflating Egoanator Device all ye atheists, apostates and heretics:
Wee vill vin the Truth Wars because we alone hold to the Absolute Truth Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and the Absolute Truth is ours alone.
December 3, 2009
Discernmentalists, we are under direct attack on a daily basis. We need to rally to arms and put on the aggressive defense. Just last month Brian McLaren directly assaulted Uncle Ken Silva and Aunt Ingrid Schlueter of Slice Of Laodicea. Ingrid was caught yelling in a headlock:
What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.
which inspired her to write this scathing critique of her ordeal:
by Ingrid Schlueter
Emergent author Brian McLaren doesn’t believe in a literal Second Coming of Jesus. He has problems with the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus on the cross. A literal hell with eternal torment for those who reject Christ? Not likely. The Genesis account of the fall of man? Not true. But instead of addressing his own spiritual rebellion, Brian appears to want to paint his critics as bigots. In a recent blog post, McLaren demands that what he calls “discernment websites” (he used the quote marks) address an African country’s attempts to codify severe penalties for homosexuality into law. He seems to imply that these same “discernment ministries” would automatically support the arrest and execution of gays by Uganda.
For the record, Brian, that’s a pretty nasty strategy to use against those who point to your heretical doctrinal views. While emergents supposedly are intellectual, open-minded people who enjoy conversations with subtle nuances and lots of mystery, McLaren actually sees things in black and white. Anyone who is not willing to jettison cardinal doctrine and embrace his “new kind of Christianity” is painted as ready to commit hate crimes and would support mistreating gays. What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.
Ken was found wounded in the fray but not hurt. We asked him for comment and all he could murmur was:
It’s interesting this “minister” would place quotations around “discernment websites.” Well, as one of said sites, I can tell McLaren that I personally do not at all “enjoy featuring and critiquing the work” of any of these postliberal rebels against the final authority of God’s Word. The Lord knows that I’d much rather go back to apologetics and evangelizing those lost in the kingdom of the cults.
Indeed this is why we must go back on the aggressive defense and never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth to all liberal, apostate, heretics!