Breaking: Emergents now attacking Truth Warriors with Psychic Powers!

July 24, 2019

epsych

Oh the horror! Recently one of our Research Robot Monkeys noted that Emergents are now hiring psychics in a last ditch effort to undermine the Absolute Truth and Certainty of the Truth Wars. We here at the ODMafia can’t say we didn’t see this coming from a mile away as we know Emerging emergers love their mystical webs of confusion. Emergents also love Mystery over Certainty as well as coffee; candles and couches—but they’ve yet to be observed in the presence of garlic. We also have reason to suspect that these Emerging vampires have merged with Mothra feminists in order to ramp up their newly found psychic abilities in order to assault unsuspecting Truth Warriors in the field of battle for our Truth. Other noted ODMs are now in the midst of battling for our Truth—researchmentalizing new techniques in Spiritual Warfare to curb these assaults.


Emerging Church Tied To Horrible Plane Crash…

September 22, 2011

This just goes to show just how far the Emerging Church will go to justify their ungodly rebellion against the Only True and Correct Doctrines.

New raw footage of last Friday’s deadly air show crash in Reno shows the doomed plane nosediving and exploding on audience.

Watch: Crowd screams ‘Oh my God’

In related news: The Emerging Church has also been tied to a brutally fatal shark attack. We have evidence just read this: “We saw the shark’s nose emerge and then the man just vanished. It was very sudden, then the animal just swam off. ” That’s just how sinisterly vile and disgusting these Emergent types are in their corruption of Pure Doctrine… They violently try to fight the Truth of Orthodoxy by leading people astray into apostasy. This is why we must fight this Truth War to protect God’s Truth from those infected by the Emerging Church disease.

All my researchmentalism on this subject has been “well-researched” so you should just take my word as Absolute Truth and fact. In fact, you all should thank God for this site and sites like the infallible Ken Silva’s CRN for our great and important research such as this article!  If you didn’t have us to Take A Stand on things such as this matter the Emerging hordes will destroy God’s Truth.


Counteract Brian McLaren’s New Book By Buying Ours Instead

January 27, 2010

Brian McLaren’s worthless book:

Our Book—Priceless:

Just like we were not happy with Brian McLaren’s book A Generous Orthodoxy….we are not happy with his new  book either….eventhough it is yet released….We Know it is full of heresy especially because we are a discernmentalist ministry and stand for true Absolute biblical truth. This is why we’ve gotten John MacArthur and Todd Friel to write our version of  his new book before it even comes out after using Eric Barger’s time machine to spot all the heresy in Brian’s book .

Also, you may have heard of this phrase from the Reformation: “Ecclesia reformata semper reformanda—The Church should be reformed and always reforming.” Well using Eric Barger’s time machine again—we’ve found that  none of the Reformers said that. This is why we must oppose Brian’s new book with a Holy Angry Passion as those Emergents are always trying to reform our Absolute Truth, our Pure Churches and our Pure Doctrines. We also believe that Reformed Emergent/Emerging House Churches do not exist. Reformed  and Emergent  are oxymorons as Ken Silva teaches therefore there are no such creatures as Reformed Emergents because Ken Silva is always right. This is always why we stand by our reformatted Reformation motto: “Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always”—that’s right because we’ve discovered all the Truth we need to know about God in the 1600’s. There is nothing else about God that needs to be revealed to us—the Reformers and the King James Bible revealed everything about God to us—so we must always stay in the 1600’s and think like they did in the 1600’s as well.

Dr. Don Jobson, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. I. Todyaso—Sola 1600’s (1600’s alone).


A Discernmentalist Self-Explodes!

January 23, 2010

So one  of our GOIP Bot 3000s directed our attention to this Ken Silvaesque article:

January 22, 2010

Attacks on God from Within

Filed under: Emerging Church, God, Postmodernism — by Rebecca LuElla Miller @ 7:00 am
Tags: , , ,

Yesterday I mentioned subtle attacks on God (and just a reminder, by “attack” I am referring to that which contradicts or distorts the truth about God as He has revealed Himself in the Bible). From what I see, the subtle version is most prevalent from within the body of professing Christians.

Sadly, it would seem that some identifying with the emerging church, are falling into this category. I almost don’t know where to begin.

Self-described wannabe mystic and prophet Mike Morrell wrote an article, “Is God ‘A Recovering Practitioner of Violence’?” last November that illustrates the attack from the inside.

We were so impressed by the Ken Silvaesque tone of this article in defense of our Sovereign Truths that we began to think the author was the female clone of Ken Silva that is until our eyes were horrified by the name of the blog:

How dare the female Ken Silva call the Christian Worldview—the only Absolute Truth and Biblical Worldview—fiction! Fiction is unbiblical—this is nothing more than an atheistic like attack from within on our Sovereign Truths and our Worldview masquerading as true truth discernmentalism. Only atheists call Christianity fiction. Perhaps the real Ken Silva should call his female clone to repent and turn back to the True Gospel of God’s Wrath.

 

Don Jobson—standing in the Non-Fiction of our Absolute Sovereign Truths.


Help Us Fight The Red Menace!

January 12, 2010

Dear Dr. Jobson,

I want to know how I can help fight the Red Menace. I am sick of all these Red-Letter Christians trying to force me into charitable causes and handing over my hard-earned money that I worked for myself to help them alleviate poverty. I believe as the Bible plainly teaches that if the poor lazy bums of the world were intended to have money that God would have predestined them to be Elect, rich and Republican from the foundation of the world. Afterall, John 12:8 states: “For the poor always ye have with you.”

Sincerely,

Rich White Scrooge, born Elect Republican.

———————————————————————————————————

Dear Mr. Scrooge,

You are Absolutely Right—Red-Letter Christians are a menace to society. The nerve of some Christians exalting Jesus above Paul’s words as the  late GOIP  Discernmentalist Dr. D. James Kennedy use to say: “Christianity is not based on the teachings of Jesus.” We suggest that you help us Truth Warriors out by buying Jan Markell‘s “Truth Dollars” to aid in the fight against the Red Menace. Each “Truth Dollar” helps to support impoverished Truth Warriors on the front-line by equipping them with Absolute Truth facts from Eric Barger’s ONE OF EVERYTHING DISCERNMENTALIST SPECIAL! We hope that we have your support in helping our cause for the non-Jesus centered teaching of Reaganism and the Gospel of God’s wrath against the poor.

Sincerely,

Dr. Don Jobson, swindling, stealing, rallying for the cause of  Absolute Truth.


Discernmentalists Invent New Device

January 7, 2010

GOIP Press—Extree extree read all aboutit! Ken Silva and Eric Barger unveil a new invention for all GOIP Dicernmentalists. Introducing the new Self-Inflating Egoanator Device–guaranteed to aid Discernmentalists in their Truth War efforts by giving Discernmentalists a quick boost to their egos and helping them to one-up those vile Emergent heretics. This device is so fearsome to our enemies that it strikes a wave of  terror even amongst the hardest-hearted atheists. They fear this device so much they even attack it:

in the words of (notable atheist) Arthur C. Clarke, “there is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing — absolutely nothing — except turn itself off.”

But who listens to atheists anyway—certainly not any True Absolute Truth Discernmentalists. Anyways behold the horror of the Absolute  Truth proving Self-Inflating Egoanator Device all ye atheists, apostates and heretics:

 Wee vill vin the Truth Wars because we alone hold to the Absolute Truth Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth Wars™ and the Absolute Truth is ours alone.


Discernmentalist Quotes For The New Decade

January 4, 2010

Sharin’ Whiplash (July 8th, 2009 at 8:55 am) :

One of my all-time heroes of the faith. What a great man, and greatly used of God as our Final Prophet and executioner of heretics. Thank You, Lord, for Your servant, Jean Cauvin, without whom we would be still struggling in the darkness of Roman Arminianism, that man-exalting heresy, being Christ-like and bearing the Fruits of the Spirit.

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Obama:

The BIGGEST reason we are in this financial recession is the current worthless and worst president ever, Obuma. Impeach him and things will immediately get better. You will thank me later. Haters….BEGIN

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Adam Lambert and homos in general:

  Time was when they would put someone in jail for acting like that on TV. We need to get back to those days. I would see NOTHING wrong with putting that guy in jail!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer on Peace-mongers:

1:25PM Dec 2nd 2009
David, David, David… why don’t you just get on the boat now? Or a ship, or, Hell, for that matter walk if you have to!! Just leave!! Take that one way trip to Cuba, or China or Venezuela RIGHT NOW!! True Americans do not want you here anymore. Hell, admit it, YOU don’t want to be here. I saw you on Chris Matthews stupid little show where he called West Point “the enemy camp.” West Point is the enemy camp huh. Naturally you said NOTHING about this point because leftist Communist pigs like yourself truly see it that way. Leave David, leave America! It is for those who LOVE it, not hate it like you do!!!!

Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer in defense of  War:

12:59PM Nov 30th 2009
Hey David (A)corn, You communist jerk!! How did your recent conversations with Putin, Castro, Hugo Chavez and Chairman Obama go? Did they help you with any ideas to publish with your daily Communist agenda? Gotta run…Hollah!!!
The reviewer wrote:

“I would have been fascinated to read a comparison of how Protestants are treated in, say, Italy, Spain, Portugal or France”

Well, as everyone knows, Protestants in Italy, Spain, Portugal and France are rounded up under the cover of darkness by Albino assassin monks, all members of an ultra-secret Opus Dei albino monk assassin squad, and these Protestants are, again, under cover of darkness, turned into a food supplement called “Soylent Green.”

That’s why Protestants never, ever go to Italy, Spain, Portugal or France.

The Eiffel Tower? The Cote d’Azur? The Coleisseum?

Don’t be fooled. These are all traps, traps I tell you, that these devastatingly clever Catholics have set up in order to lure innocent Protestants into traveling to Europe!

Be wise, my friends, be wise! Don’t travel to Europe! Soylent Green is Protestants!


Top Highlights From The Year-End Discernmentalist Convention For The New Year

January 2, 2010

  1.  

It’s a GOIP  miracle—Sharin’ Whiplash’s (an anti-Christ-Mass and anti-Advent GOIP discernmentalist) face appears on a fern in Dec. of  ’09 which reinforces our anti-CatholicPagan Christmas message and supports our message that:

Christmas should should not be about celebrating the Incarnation of the world’s Savior but should not be about ridiculing and condemning Catholics and  other non-Calvinists and supporting Republican foreign policy, war, torture and capitalist materialist consumerism.

We know that this reaffirms our Discernmentalist Messages of Absolute Truth as Sharin’ Whiplash is a charter member of the Fundamentalist Society 4 Final President Reagan.

  • Sharin’  Whiplash again sharing our Pure Doctrines and our Discernmentalist Messages of Absolute Truth sneaks inside the Vatcave of  Papist Conspiracies to  Eradicate Absolute Truth—while there she attacks the Pope  in an attempt to destroy the Pagan Catholic Christ-Mass and bring about the glorious virtues of the Reganomic-driven GOIP version of Christmas:

2. Miley “the Southern Baptist who is now  an Emergent apostate” Cyrus attacks GOIP parenting.

3.  

Lady Gaga may be the Top Artist of 2009 but God hates her—we are Absolutely Certain of this fact.

4. Former False President Jimmy Carter continues spreading his Neo-Marxism within apostate Baptist churches:

5.  Emergynts continue using their “Seeker-Sensitive” techniques to undermine Absolute Biblical Truth:

This is why we Discernmentalists promise to step-up our efforts in battle because of our commitments to John MacArthur’s Absolute Truth Wars.  Also because Aposate churches are giving us a run for our money in Discernmentalism—here is an example of an apostate Pentecostal tongue-babbler beating us to the punch-line of discernmentalism:

6.  Say Yes to Anti-Catholicism as that is speaking unTruth in hate love to non-apostates:

Say No  to Anti-Calvinism as those who criticize Calvinism are not only truly bigots with their hate speech, they are also anti-God, for Calvinism is the Absolute Truth.

Here again we Discernmentalists must step up the pace in our defenses of the Absolute Truth.

7.  Finally in our Year-End Discernmentalist Convention our friends Ken Silva and Eric Barger reveal our new Free-Marketing campaign for the New Year:


Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy

December 10, 2009

Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy is a sequel to the much beloved Tween Apostate classic of Emergent Babel, Twilight Of Emergent Idols. These Apostate films are based on the Emergent Twilight book series co-authored by a female Mormon false religionist and a bunch of Emergent heretics. A bunch of morons more like it! These films are spiritual confusing for sure! Why they even teach such confusing and postmodern Emergent ideas as: people have souls, there is good and evil in the world, “love conquers all,” redemption, wholesome values, etc.  Discernmentalists do not be fooled by these apostate values since this book series was written by heretics so therefore these anti-Biblical values are opposed to our core Discernmentalist values of  only the Elect have souls, the world is totally depraved, self-righteousness and war-mongering conquer all, wrath, etc.

We Know with Absolute Certainty these Absolute Truths! Todd Friel using Eric Barger’s Bible Based Selective Uncomprohensive Cherry-Picking Reading Machine has said of the newest installment in the Emergent Twilight series that it in fact promotes the false teaching of: “How to Tell God, ‘You’re not the Lord of me. I’ll do whatever I want’.” Yes we should fear and be paranoid of fictional books and films this much as True Truthwarriors. Anyways, the newest installment in the Emergent Twilight series—Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy stars all your favorite Emergent heretics: Rob “Universalist” Bell, Phyllis Tickle “Your Ears” and Tony “I Have No Truth” Jones among others and Dakota Fanning whom these evil Emergents corrupt and turn into a contemplative Soul-sucking vampire.

Here was sweet little Dakota when she was a Bible-believing Southern Baptist:

And here is Dakota after those Evil Emergents kidnapped her and forced her to star in their sin-promoting movies—Hounddog, Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy and now even more heretical movies:

Here Dakota is in an Emergent coven:

And the ensuing results of the evil Emergents’ spiritual apostasy are working on Dakota:

 

See the difference—We Do—Absolutely! This is why we Discernmentalists must warn you parents to never take your children to movies that we don’t approve of —because your children are too dumb to realize the fine lines between fantasy and reality—and Emergents blur them constantly. This is why we must set the standard for you and tell you to boycott Twilight Of Emergent Idolatry: New Age Apostasy and the like.


Brian McLaren Directly Assaults Discernmentalists

December 3, 2009

Discernmentalists, we are under direct attack on a daily basis. We need to rally to arms and put on the aggressive defense. Just last month Brian McLaren directly assaulted Uncle Ken Silva and Aunt Ingrid Schlueter of Slice Of  Laodicea. Ingrid was caught yelling in a headlock:

What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

which  inspired her to write this scathing critique of her ordeal:

Brian McLaren Paints Critics as Gay-Hating Bigots

by Ingrid Schlueter

Emergent author Brian McLaren doesn’t believe in a literal Second Coming of Jesus. He has problems with the penal substitutionary atonement of Jesus on the cross. A literal hell with eternal torment for those who reject Christ? Not likely. The Genesis account of the fall of man? Not true. But instead of addressing his own spiritual rebellion, Brian appears to want to paint his critics as bigots. In a recent blog post, McLaren demands that what he calls “discernment websites” (he used the quote marks) address an African country’s attempts to codify severe penalties for homosexuality into law. He seems to imply that these same “discernment ministries” would automatically support the arrest and execution of gays by Uganda.

For the record, Brian, that’s a pretty nasty strategy to use against those who point to your heretical doctrinal views. While emergents supposedly are intellectual, open-minded people who enjoy conversations with subtle nuances and lots of mystery, McLaren actually sees things in black and white. Anyone who is not willing to jettison cardinal doctrine and embrace his “new kind of Christianity” is painted as ready to commit hate crimes and would support mistreating gays. What an appallingly dishonest way to deal with your critics, McLaren.

Ken was found wounded in the fray but not hurt. We asked him for comment and all he could murmur was:

It’s interesting this “minister” would place quotations around “discernment websites.” Well, as one of said sites, I can tell McLaren that I personally do not at all “enjoy featuring and critiquing the work” of any of these postliberal rebels against the final authority of God’s Word. The Lord knows that I’d much rather go back to apologetics and evangelizing those lost in the kingdom of the cults.

Indeed this is why we must go back on the aggressive defense and never compromise on preaching the whole ‘discernmentalist’ truth to all liberal, apostate, heretics!


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